Tainted

[x.glitter_raindrops.x]

falling apart, dont know what to say

can you take this pain, away?

when i fall into a hole, and i can take no more,

you lift my head and make my spirits soar

seperate from this chaos that is covering me,

soul-searching for the good you seem to see,

hiding away, invisible, and tired,

I am ,surely not the beautiful being you once admired?

i scream, i cry, lash out,

suffocating the good with a veil of doubt,

hard to live with, i know,

but still you never go.

I love you deep within my heart,

never could hurt you, but then i fall apart,

this is not how i planned,

surely, you cant much longer withstand?

(you show a strength beyond which i can understand)

plan ahead, look forward, not back,

but what if the capabilites are what i lack?

if i let you down, i swear, god i couldnt,

cant live with myself, i cant, i wouldnt!

fear's clouding this beauty,

the best thing i ever had, and i cant live up to my duty,

im sorry for being the way i am,

and if it sometimes seems i dont give a damn

you are everything precious to me,

and everything i aspire to be,

instead i am tainted by negative thoughts and pain,

emotion takes over, and its driving me insane

what i would do to be good for you,

to return all the precious favours you do,

to erase all this pain and move on,

instead of writing this song.

a love letter with depressing realities,

the cruel harsh facts of my brutalities,

love letter from a drama queen,

to the most special thing my world has ever seen.

[Rael]

thats really beautiful and your love shines through it. i think the goodness you feel for him outshines anything negative, people love us not because of our faults, but in spite of them. just by being there and being you you are everything he wants.

xxx