violetblue Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 Hi everyone. I have no clue how to use this site, so bear with me Thought that I'd send a message, introduce self, and see if we can't assist each other with some of our difficulties. I've been BPD since 16, having each of the 9 "traits" in droves, hehe. , however I've been very functional for quite a while, with a few outrageous outbursts here and there. Currently, I'm pretty aware of the way I was conditioned, as I do NOT look at this type of disease as me, simply the way I was conditioned. It's helpful, for when the thoughts and feelings come up telling me to flip out, scream or hurt myself, I can say, this is NOT me, it's conditioning, "tapes" and they don't work to get my way.... HOWEVER, I still seem to have a hell of a time dealing with disapproval, especially when others are getting approval. Any suggestions or thoughts on the subject would be great. Background, my mother hates me, has since i was a child, yet likes and rewards the siblings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 Welcome to the site, please take care and be safe. i hope you like the site! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetblue Posted July 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 Welcome to the site, please take care and be safe. i hope you like the site! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks, It's nice to see a site setup as such. Do you have BPD? I'm interested in speaking with folks who have experienced this illness, (or what ever you want to call it). I'm 40 now, and for years I lived disassociated, in horrid moods, self destructive. I've been very lucky, I met a man who was "conscious", literally, in the budda like way. He didn't know I had BPD, nor did I mention it, but using his suggestions for become aware, I was able for the first time to find much relief, and understand my own conditioning. Years later, BPD's ugly head arose once again, when I was working to re-evaluate the importance of approval. I've been a bit stuck lately with my progress, and doing whatever it takes to make it over this hump. This seems to be at the crux of the disease. This intolerance to blame, judging, disapproval, hatred. Intellectually it makes sense, being what the childhood was like, however it's not real to me....(if that can be understood). My teacher, spent hours with me trying to get me to question what would happen to a person who grew up hated, and I FELT nothing during the discussion, though I can see it's very obvious that mom hates me, and has most of this life. That was a clue to me, that I never even admitted it, nor do I feel anything about it....but God help those who disapprove of me...so the relationship is obvious. Suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 I'm interested in speaking with folks who have experienced this illness, Well then, stick around, because there are a whole bunch of us here! Welcome, and I hope to post with you lots. Peace, Christina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelle Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 Hello Violet and welcome to the site! I look forward to talking with you! take care of you! Chelle :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted July 13, 2004 Report Share Posted July 13, 2004 I am 46 and am hoping tomorrow to get a BPD diagnosis. If that sounds strange, keep in mind that for 23 years I have been in therapy on and off and have never been told what is wrong with me. They always just want to "monitor" my moods. I have read several books and visited other support sites for various mental illnesses, but when I found information on BPD, I felt so at home. Again, a strange thing to say, but I come to this site several times a day just to remind myself that I am not alone. It is a great help, and these are great people.Welcome to the site, please take care and be safe. i hope you like the site! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks, It's nice to see a site setup as such. Do you have BPD? I'm interested in speaking with folks who have experienced this illness, (or what ever you want to call it). I'm 40 now, and for years I lived disassociated, in horrid moods, self destructive. I've been very lucky, I met a man who was "conscious", literally, in the budda like way. He didn't know I had BPD, nor did I mention it, but using his suggestions for become aware, I was able for the first time to find much relief, and understand my own conditioning. Years later, BPD's ugly head arose once again, when I was working to re-evaluate the importance of approval. I've been a bit stuck lately with my progress, and doing whatever it takes to make it over this hump. This seems to be at the crux of the disease. This intolerance to blame, judging, disapproval, hatred. Intellectually it makes sense, being what the childhood was like, however it's not real to me....(if that can be understood). My teacher, spent hours with me trying to get me to question what would happen to a person who grew up hated, and I FELT nothing during the discussion, though I can see it's very obvious that mom hates me, and has most of this life. That was a clue to me, that I never even admitted it, nor do I feel anything about it....but God help those who disapprove of me...so the relationship is obvious. Suggestions? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted July 16, 2004 Report Share Posted July 16, 2004 Welcome Violet!!!!! Lanie <>< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytales817 Posted July 16, 2004 Report Share Posted July 16, 2004 I just wanted to give my welcome! Email me if you ever need me! Stardanceraj@yahoo.com AIM- fairytales817 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violetblue Posted July 16, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2004 I just wanted to give my welcome! Email me if you ever need me! Stardanceraj@yahoo.com AIM- fairytales817 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks everyone for the welcome to this site! I really appreciate it, and hopefully we'll be making a few contacts/friends here soon. violet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 Background, my mother hates me, has since i was a child, yet likes and rewards the siblings. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> thats basically me.. glad you are here flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.