jades Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 so i lost my period and my heart is a big tasty meal of protein to my body which explains all my symptoms passingout, shaking , tunnel vision and rapid heart rate. but i donnt wanna eat still and i lose 3 lbs a day. i dont wanna die ive got my life with marc to look forward to. so i started eating and i only lose 2 lbs. my theropist asked me why i wanted to die of cousrse id ont i said. she countered with thats not what your actions are telling me.BAM wow hmmmmm..........why would i want to die? in lost need your help please xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 hugs jades xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcluton Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 <A different Marc>lolHi Jades,You seem to be going through a tough time, and sounds a bit like your mental health doctors are busy telling you the obvious of what happens when you don't eat!You sound a very intelligent and emotional person, i would say both fantastic qualities in someone. My daughter suffers with an eating disorder but now she is getting support from her family rather than "you must eat!"With time and a lot of self awareness that i hope your mental health professionals will help you get, you will feel more in control of your life, i have noticed that some people write their me moires and these go on to be published, and really helps others with similar problems, maybe this angle might be worth looking at from you.I cannot imagine what you are going through, i suffer with the fear of dieing too, i can manage my mental health problems very well now (most of the time) and now know i have so much to give, my children need me and i do a lot of support work for kids with Aspergers.Look within yourself and find that inner strength, and then find yourself, prove to you and the world life may be a fight but its one worth winning, and don't let your eating disorder control you.My best wishes<MARC> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saphyreraine Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Jade honey you've come too far to let this demon bring you down. Fight it, please :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted March 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 ty roses and bokn wings marc your words were especislly helpfull im just so screwed up by them tellling mei want to die but like you said they arejust explaining the obvious but i guess i dont have words yet would really like to hear more responses for now thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saphyreraine Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 (((((jades))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 ((((hug, jades)))) Is anything triggering you and making you not want to eat? I don't know enough about your struggle with eating disorders, but sometimes it can be a way to try to have some control of your life. Or body issues would make sense, stress? ... do you know why you are not wanting to eat? Maybe then it would be easier to figure out a way to change your thinking. You already know that it is hurting you and you have some wonderful things ahead of you to look forward to... now you just need to keep working hard and beat another thing. We're on your side and good luck!xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted March 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 hey ave its definately a control thing ive started drinking suppliment shakes s i can get nutriens since i stil have a hard time eating xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 well done for that. i've been on them lot of times. is a positive step. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel123 Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Just want to give you a big ((((((((((HUG)))))))))).Thinking of you hun.xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted March 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 ty roses and angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxps i ate a sandwich and some penuts too hope i dont regret it when i weigh myself :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saphyreraine Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Try and remember that you want to live and that that is more important than any number on those scales.... *hug* xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted March 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 omg im freaking out i gained 2 pounds i cant possibly eat till i lose this weight :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saphyreraine Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 it will only be water weight and your body clinging to it because you've been restricting. any chance you can chuck the scales out?.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Hi Jades, my dear! Don't wither away to nothing, get rid of that scale and judge by your firmness and fitness feelings. People go up and down a couple of pounds in the space of the day depending on when you weigh them. Or if you must weigh yourself (here i'd look at it being compulsive to you) try putting it on a graph or averaging out the week so that you see a bigger picture than just "today I'm up 2 lbs" . And remind yourself often that Marc fell in love with you the size you were at that moment! And you can bet a million that he loves the real you, not what size you are.love you sister friend!cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc-74 Posted March 7, 2009 Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 Hi Jades, my dear! Don't wither away to nothing, get rid of that scale and judge by your firmness and fitness feelings. People go up and down a couple of pounds in the space of the day depending on when you weigh them. Or if you must weigh yourself (here i'd look at it being compulsive to you) try putting it on a graph or averaging out the week so that you see a bigger picture than just "today I'm up 2 lbs" . And remind yourself often that Marc fell in love with you the size you were at that moment! And you can bet a million that he loves the real you, not what size you are.love you sister friend!catyou said it cat, I love you jades what ever size you are, cant bear the thought of you in pain , cats right, tell yourself how much I love you. anytime i think of drinking or cutting I hear your voice, and keep myself safe, I dont know about E D. but it sounds like great advice from everyone here.thankx guys. marc xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted March 8, 2009 Report Share Posted March 8, 2009 I don't have an ED, but I can definitely understand it as a control issue. Keep yourself safe though. Thats great that you ate a sandwich and some peanuts, but try not to worry about what the scale says. Like I said I don't know much about ED, but I liked cat's idea about fitness instead of weight. I have problems with my body and especially when I was pregnant, but had to keep gaining weight, I found it very helpful to exercise and get in better shape instead of dieting and losing weight. It helped me feel in control and see a difference, yet it was healthy and was helping me instead of working against me. No matter what, be safe and take care of yourself!xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-Bliss-x Posted March 8, 2009 Report Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hey Jades *hug*I have to say I'm a bit suprised at your doctors for what they said. Was there a reason why they thought you want to die? Had you said before you want to? It seems strange to just say this out of the blue to you. Although people with an ED ARE at risk of dying, it doesn't always mean they want to. Maybe it was a shock tactic? A way of getting you thinking, "DO you want to die? Because that's where you'll end up"...sort of thing.I'm sorry you're struggling so much with this, but if the answer to this question is no, you don't want to die. Hold on to that!x-Bliss-x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverborderline Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Hugs Jades , sorry that you are in pain .. HUGS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted March 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 i guess i do want to die i m suicidal agian my parents have dumped me for good i cant handel this im sorry yall i tried i took extra meds yesterday to sleep and was tempted to od so bad so im gonna go to the hosp today and check in so ill eb gone fo ra while xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-Bliss-x Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'm so sorry things are so bad for you at the moment. Please keep fighting *hugs*.x-Bliss-x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMknows Posted March 10, 2009 Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sorry you are struggling. I'm here to help in anyway I can! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken doll Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hi hun,just remember that you are a beautiful person and your struggling and doing things the best way you know how, don't be too hard on yourself for two pounds, it's not stones, and you do want to get better, you just don't want to put on weight and when that happens you feel like a failure, BUT YOU ARE NOT!!!!your body is unique and should not be measured against anyone elses, therefore be the weight to be healthy and happy and forget about the demons that tell you other wise, stop those self-critising words and turn them around to positives and slowly you'll feel better about yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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