Katherine Posted February 26, 2005 Report Share Posted February 26, 2005 Last night at about 3 a.m. I was lying in bed, I'd been asleep but was now partly awake. Awakened by a feeling that was still happening. That of Pebbles (my cat)walking over my pillow around my head and on the edge of the duvet by my shoulder. I could feel the weight of her paws, her body, around me. But Pebbles is no longer alive. She left this world in May 2003. What is this? I mean, I really felt this and I was practically awake, very definitely conscious. Nothing could be seen however. I mean, there was nothing physically THERE. I lay there in bed frozen to the spot in fear. Terrified and wondering what in the world was happening to me. I mean, Pebbles used to do that all the time---walk all over my pillow and snuggle up by my head etc. All day at work I haven't been worried by this, but as soon as I got home, back alone in my room I feel scared again. What was that-presence? because that's what I feel it was, a presence...What will happen tonight when I go to sleep? I can think of several explanations for this and I'd be interested to hear people's perspectives- 1) Brought on by intense desire for physical comfort, I do have a very vivid/powerful imagination. (Though I wasn't consciously controlling this.) 2) Grief-soon after she died I had similar kind of experiences, but not so intense or frightening. But then the memory of her was closer then. When I sorted out my room on Thursday I got out Pebbles' bowl and toy, that I still have, and put them out for a while. Until I put them away because I couldn't bear it. 3) Psychosis/Dissociation/Psychic experience of some form- I had been working with some very significant and new, intense feelings in therapy yesterday afternoon. Issues to do with my emotional insecurity, feeling 'at sea' in relationships. To do with the way my mother/parents were. Bringing up things this profound from my unconscious could have dislodged other material in my psyche that was close. After all, I feel grief too about my childhood and its effect on me now. Connections, and what I long for, took me back to Pebbles. How she was 'always there' for me when I was sad or lonely. You know how cats know..... or, yeah, 4) Med side effect. (Efexor) But its not done something like THIS before and I've been taking it 3 months..???? I just don't want to go to bed feeling terrified tonight...... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 26, 2005 Report Share Posted February 26, 2005 ((((((((((((Karie))))))))) I believe its entirely normal to feel what you did...i think it is a mixture for physical comfort and you being stricken with grief...sometimes you can be awake but not fully concious...the mind can play tricks on you especially for those of us with active imaginations..what were you thinking of when you fell asleep last night? Did the desire for physical comfort enter your mind...and you have been posting about and so you have been thinking about it...we don't remember all of our dreams and you could of dreamt about the need for comfort and Pebbles could have appeared in the dream because you were so close to him and he brought you that warm cuddly feeling...so your mind could have been in over drive when you awoke. I just read that when you were cleaning out your room you took out his water bowl...your cat has been on your mind and you know our dreams express our hidden thoughts...Try not to be scared about going to bed because Pebbles could be comforting you now in your time of need. Love, Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2005 Thanks Ems, your last line made me want to cry a little. *tearful smiles*. Its an interesting idea about what was I dreming before cos I don't consciously remember. And it could have been about wanting comfort. Before I went to sleep I was thinking about???I was having an inner conversation with my inner child about things in therapy yesterday. Today I have felt quite 'little', which goes naturally with it all...I give my inner child lots of understanding cuddles. She needs them. I am using my imagination very creatively and powerfully at present in developing a relationship with my inner toddler, so yes my imagination, which is very very active...even the Jungian term for what I do is Active Imagination! and so it just carried on without my conscious consent, in a way. Very touched by the idea that Pebbles would come to me in my time of need. It would be just like her to do that, nip down from cat heaven to be by my side...Or, at least, my inward memory of her. Thanks for helping me gain compassionate perspective and feel less freaked out!.... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted February 26, 2005 Report Share Posted February 26, 2005 Karie, I have always believed that when people or animals leave us, they never truely leave us. A few months ago a close friend of mine died, and I believe that he still watches over me and other friends in a way. For example, last weds, Jamie(friend) was supposed to be giving me a lift to a rehersal, but when we went to get in the car he had a flat tyre, so I had to get the train. I later found out that there had been a huge crash on the road which we would normally have taken and killed one person, which is really sad I know We where talking about it and I said how I reckoned it was him looking out for us, and just as I said it I smacked my head lol, as if it was him telling me to stop talking about him So yeah I agree with what Lady said. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Thanks Punky, sometimes my rational mind takes over when things like that happen to me and I freak out. I think then that I forget that closeness can really be there on 'another plane' as it were...Fear takes over from love, something like that... k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Hi Karie, I have no logical words to explain your experience or the way the mind works, but, the thought of it being your lovely bundle of fluff from the other side come to give you a cuddle and some love sounds lovely. Don't fear it, think of it as a wonderful experience that is a special gift from your beloved friend - Pebbles. Sorry I can't be of any more help or inspiration. JT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 well, I do believe in the other side and all that crap... so, here are your choices, choose the one you like the best... a) You were in a dream state... but were on the verge of going to sleep, or waking up... It was your cat... if it was, I really wouldn't worry about it... I mean your cat never hurt you right ?? She was just checking up on you.. she just wants you to know she loves you... If it really scares you, get or borrow a dog, dogs have a sixth sense and will be able to tell if you have anything in the house... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Ohhh! that would be scary if I had a dog and he started barking at nothing I would think it was a ghost...I would be scared shitless...Yikes! :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 but the dog would protect you, and would only bark if it thought you were in danger, if its just the cat, the dog would know you aren't in danger, if its a evil spirit then I would want the dog to bark so I could get out the house... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 The dog would only have to bark once at nothing and I would be outta the house before you could count to three...the chapel at my college is haunted by ghost nuns and my RCIA group used to meet in there at nighttime...one night my friends and I were exploring the chapel and the castle which joins the chapel at night time afterthe meeting and we started hearing noises and ran screaming at the top of our lungs outta there.... Last summer my friend and I would go to my college campus around midnight and look for ghosts...my campus is pretty old compared to American standards and ghost sighting are prtty common...esp. in the chapel and the castle...we used to stare into the windows and get up real close and watch the shadows and get really freaked...one night we were sitting on a stone call facing the front of the castle and we hear this loud bang coming from the empty building...we freaked and ran as fast as we could screaming off campus...half way back to her house it started pouring...we think it was a suign to get out of there because it started to thunder and pour...I idd not sleep well that night but we did go back. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Heheheh.... I am open to ghosts and shit, but they aren't aloud in my home... and now a days, I can't enjoy a quiet walk through the graveyard at night cos of the kids... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted March 1, 2005 Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 emma, you crack me up. I have a visual now of youruning out of the house in the middle of the night. Its easy to picture cause id be just the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 1, 2005 Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 :lol: Yeah...I used to babysite these two kids and their house was haunted. The mother and the two children have told me when the had seen in the house....I was upstairs in the boy's playing with the two children when one of the toys on the bed started talking out of no where..I started to scream...forget the kids I ran downstairs...they ran behind me and sat in the living room scared shitless...scared the kids too! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 back to my Pebsy - petal...... my t managed to reassure me that I am not going insane with having had this experience....much to my relief. I am open to the possibility that it was her, in a way *cold warm shiver*. Looking out for me. Rather than coming in the form of my good angel, it was lil furry paws.... The following night I dreamt (in fully unconscious state) of my therapist-which to me is more of the same, only this time the message of comforting reassuring presence was clearer and couldn't be mixed with fear... Pebbles never lived here with me. I moved soon after her death. So it was an extra effort for her to come find me, across the other side of London...But we were very very close. Remember that on Thursday evening I had put out her old bowl and toy for a while - until it was too much for me-....I prepared the way for her. Thanks for the extra comments, JT, LadyM, Raich and Lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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