shadok Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 I mean... I understand it's supposed to be centered on "our" "victims", but I still find it incredibly callous towards people suffering from a personality disorder. Perhaps I should stop surfing the web altogether. Anyway - good thing my self-esteem is in the gutter already, it can't get much lower anyway.http://counsellingresource.com/distress/pe...ding/index.htmlPS, can you tell me if refering to a person with a personality disorder as "a Personality Disorder" is standard in English? I mean in sentences such as "When involved in any manner with a Personality Disorder — as their partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, etc. — we must not only recognize their behaviors but also develop a strategy to protect ourselves". It's certainly not correct in my first language. Hey, I'm a person, not a disorder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaj17 Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 The author uses a quasi-clinical approach that is more negative than callous. He talks about each symptom with a severe negative bias. I believe that he distorts the true picture of the 'personality disorder'. (I agree with your comment regarding the reference to us individuals as the 'personality disorder').I mean... I understand it's supposed to be centered on "our" "victims", but I still find it incredibly callous towards people suffering from a personality disorder. Perhaps I should stop surfing the web altogether. Anyway - good thing my self-esteem is in the gutter already, it can't get much lower anyway.http://counsellingresource.com/distress/pe...ding/index.htmlPS, ca.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 jeez i want to do something BAAAAAD to that b*stardwtf is he doingobviously a totally ignorant PRATnot exactly supportive or helpful, to anyonemust have done a phD in 'how to be a dickhead'grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 I mean... I understand it's supposed to be centered on "our" "victims", but I still find it incredibly callous towards people suffering from a personality disorder. Perhaps I should stop surfing the web altogether. Anyway - good thing my self-esteem is in the gutter already, it can't get much lower anyway.http://counsellingresource.com/distress/pe...ding/index.htmlPS, can you tell me if refering to a person with a personality disorder as "a Personality Disorder" is standard in English? I mean in sentences such as "When involved in any manner with a Personality Disorder — as their partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, etc. — we must not only recognize their behaviors but also develop a strategy to protect ourselves". It's certainly not correct in my first language. Hey, I'm a person, not a disorder!Hi ShadokNo, that approach is extremely reductionistic and offensive, but for some that like to have a sense of superiority and control, it fits their personality.I know this wont help much, but my approach is generally to avoid reading anything from sites like that. There are also many online communities set up to complain about people with personality disorders, and quite often when you go to them you realise that the people doing the complaining often have one themselves but cant see it ... IMO if someone hurts you enough that you have to reduce their identity to which disorder they have and they make you need to come online to share unpleasant quotes about them, then its time to leave the relationship or seriously question your social support structure. I think some of them see it as 'relationship counselling' or something, where the rest of the world sees it as 'bitching but doing f**k all about it'.TBH we need to concentrate on our own recovery. We probably criticise and dislike ourselves enough as it is, without having others writing drivel like this who are simultaneously ignorant AND incapable of making a decision that would make their lives better, try to define you by a DSM category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 This is what I read......we must purge society of these anti-christ, these 'devil' worshippers for the sake of our souls. These 'Cluster B' lunatics must be rounded up and imprisoned lest they spread their evil seed the world over.....this bloke is a tosser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocus Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 Well I guess my psychiatrist must be wrong then, I obviously don't have a personality disorder because I have NEVER been abusive, neglectful or manipuliative in any relationship I've had. I also think deeper than the average normal person which is why things upset me more often due to seeing the way the world works as very shallow! I blame myself constantly for EVERYTHING. I feel destroyed if I have to drop contact with someone and even when this person is toxic to me it takes me a long time to make the move to rid myself of them. I find it extremely hard to move on from a break up. And YES I did break contact with my mother but that's because she was abusive towards me! I don't partake in any kind of criminal activity, nor do I con people. As for end justifying the means, I go without so my family can have, I hate buying myself anything and only own 2 pairs of trousers because I spend all my money on my family and feel guilty spending anything on myself. I also pride myself on honesty even when it means I'm gonna get in trouble for something I've done or plan on doing or makes me look bad. It make me take me some hours, or even days to work up the courage to tell the truth about something but I always do. And I can't lie to save my life.I hate drama and turmoil and chaos and distress and do everything I can to avoid it at all costs, even to the point of going along with something that I don't want to do just to keep the peace and please my family. I've never self injured in front of someone and do all I can to hide it, I managed to hide it from my mum for years when I was living with her and although I started cutting regularly at age 14 noone including my mum found out till I was 19 and giving birth and she was with me.I've also never cheated on a partner, have always payed back personal money that I've borrowed, never broken a promise or even my word, never spread rumors and done my best to stop rumors I've heard. I also show more empathy and compassion for others than anyone I know in rl or have even heard about in rl.Please note these are not only my judgements about myself but what everyone that has ever known me has seen in me too! So no I'm not delusional!Specific techniques used by individuals with a Cluster B Personality Disorder can be found in another article entitled “Identifying Losers in Relationships”. I am a loser now too? I don't just have a personality disorder I am actually a loser? by the way borderline personality disorder is categorised as cluster b personality disorder by this person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocus Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 In fact I am the complete opposite of everything he describes in his article! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crocus Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 How the hell can this be on a professional counselling resource site? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 Sweet. Please don't let it get to you. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 Sweet. Please don't let it get to you. xxxThe guy has blended ALL PD's in together. The way a person with APD or NPD behaves is utterly different to how a BPD behaves.In fact I would go as far as to say that its people like parents with NPD and APD that CREATE BPD's.To quote Sigmund Freud:"Cripes, that blokes a fuckwit". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 I thought that exact same thing Ross. In fact I thought he made himself sound like an ignorant fool who actually had no idea what he was talking about and should be laughed out the room for making a complete wazzock of himself. Which is why I said not to let it get to you cos his opinion means absolute jack. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 I thought that exact same thing Ross. In fact I thought he made himself sound like an ignorant fool who actually had no idea what he was talking about and should be laughed out the room for making a complete wazzock of himself. Which is why I said not to let it get to you cos his opinion means absolute jack. xxxI really hope that no one pays him for therapy :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 If he called me a loser my hubbie would beat him up :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 what a prat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 Sweet. Please don't let it get to you. xxxThe guy has blended ALL PD's in together. The way a person with APD or NPD behaves is utterly different to how a BPD behaves.In fact I would go as far as to say that its people like parents with NPD and APD that CREATE BPD's.To quote Sigmund Freud:"Cripes, that blokes a fuckwit".Haven't visited the site to read the smut myself, but I was thinking the same thing when I read those quotes from it. "he's lumping antisocial and narcissistic pd with borderline???"and that nazi rant about rounding us up??? WTF ! I though eugenics was dead. Get this asshole some HATERADE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 that's unreal, i actually kept thinking omg i cant believe he said that, then a second later thought omg thats even worse. and so on throughout the whole thing. tosser. ive been reading a book that i think he will fit perfectly into when i imagine what im reading *insert evil scientist grin, and quite possibly maniacal laughter* (oh no wait i would only be playing up to the stereotypes). did i say tosser???xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 The kind of person he's describing is just like my dad, who I considered to be Narcissistic PD. Reading further, I see how he weaves truths with the lies to create a very convincing web of bs. I find myself scrutinizing my painful flailing, and my former best friend's voice echoes in my ears: "it's so PAINFUL to be around you!" and my ex bf's: "Psycho cunt!". My recent forays into compassion for my father have opened up areas of vulnerability in me. I realize now that he acted out of the relentless agony he felt. He even explained sometimes that he drank because of that agony. He was the one who constructed suicide dioramas for us to come home to and controlled us with his tantrums and psychological violence.When my hub and I were going through our horrible two years, I became that histrionic person sometimes, but not because I had "shallow emotions" and all that crap. But I did s/h in front of him. I did scream at alisha and throw things. I even attacked my husband and hit him with my fists.I feel confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 OMG, I AM THE SCUM THAT I BELIEVE I AM, IT/S NOT PARANOIA, IT/S FUCKING TRUE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hider Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 Whilst the author has quite accurately identified some of the disturbing behaviours present in those with a personality disorder, he has offered very little, if any, explanation as to the root causes of those behaviours. So his analysis is one-sided, and almost completely ignores the founding causes of personality disorders. I am not so much insulted by the article as astounded by the willful ignorance of the one who wrote it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 Whilst the author has quite accurately identified some of the disturbing behaviours present in those with a personality disorder, he has offered very little, if any, explanation as to the root causes of those behaviours. So his analysis is one-sided, and almost completely ignores the founding causes of personality disorders. I am not so much insulted by the article as astounded by the willful ignorance of the one who wrote it.GREAT point Hider This is something that many folks dont realise, all bar the best psychologists - in NPD and APD type disorders, the persons manipulative actions are done out of GREED. They belove they are entitled to have more, do more and get away with more, even when they realise that others have less.In BPD when those behaviours surface, they are done out of NEED. We tend to feel that we are chronically deprived, with no one there for us. We act out of fear - fear of abandonment, fear of attack. We have a much greater empathy with being victimised - ignored, invalidated, beaten, humiliated. Where NPD and APD sufferers will abuse and then feel nothing, BPD sufferers will act out of desperation and then feel crippling guilt and shame. MAny BPD sufferers will tend to choose partners who actually do deprive them, belittle them, even hurt them, keeping the cycle going. To my mind, the author of the article is a 'greedy' person who has not received the admiration and perfect romance he feels he was entitled to, and rather than understand the human elements underlying the problem (as you rightly suggest Hider), he seeks to stigmatise and reduce people to labels. Its much easier to hate and hurt a label than a human being.Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Broken doll Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 Well, I'm sorry to say that i see a lot of myself in that article, so for me even though I don't like to be put in the same vicinity as a criminal, but I've abused people , manipulated them to get what i want, I've been very harmful and selfish to my family, which is why they don't have much to do with me, I've stolen things, I've lied to so many people. i am neglectful and I've "played games" with people to see what they would do, so all in all I guess i fit the mould he is talking about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 What i never seem to undersatnd, is why NPD and APD are in the same cluster as BPD, to me they are complete opposites. I have never been manipulative and i do have a sense of wanting to be in control of certain things but for completely opposite reasons for that of NPD or APD. These clusters do nothing apart from tar everyone with the same brush, and to professionals doing so, they are not doing thier jobs properly. As individuals we are all different, no matter what our mental illness, and we should all be treated as individuals.This guy has just made us all out to be extremly cold and calculated because we are in the same cluster as NPD and APD. I very much doubt he has had any dealings with BPD and he's most probably wrote his thesis from text books. Or if he has, he's just plain straight not doing his job properly. The whole article just reeks of how in the dark ages some of these professionals really are.He's made me really angry, and i'm sending him an E-Slap to knock some sense into him.Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 This has upset me too even though I don't have BPD - (I'm at the neurotic end of the scale.) My mother was a malignant narcissist and by lumping all personality disorders together this ass**le is blurring the issues.NPDs are indeed toxic, manipulative and all those things. But that stems from a lack of empathy etc. They are hollow people.Can't say those things about people with BDP!!Wouldn't surprise me if this ass**le was NPD himself.hairahedit for broken doll - hun, you admit these things, I'm totally in awe of you. "People" with NPD virtually never seek help or self-analyse because it would bring their whole carefully constructed facade tumbling down - it would be like a death for them. So don't you dare tar yourself with the same brush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyL Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 I know there's a lot of anger about this, and it seems justified, but it's impotent anger. This kind of thing happens from time to time and there's nothing anyone can do about jerks writing inflammatory articles like this.Well, there is one thing.Show our efforts to get better to those who know about us. That way when people we know and care about read an article like this they'll say to themselves, "Funny, that's not what Jane is like," and dismiss crap like this out of hand. The more people see us really trying, the less impact this drivel has in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jinxfallenstar Posted March 17, 2009 Report Share Posted March 17, 2009 That article is disgusting! believe me hun, your not over reacting...something about the way he had written this article made my blood boil! The way in which this doctor conveyed (what i believe) his OPINIONS is disgusting, as a majority of the 'traits' he stated are as far from the truth (for me anyway) as possible. This 'Dr' told us what he believed not what is true, im sure there are people with personality disorders that are manipulative and that lie, steal and that have no ethichs.... but are those not common traits in the human race as a whole? What worries me is that people whom are non-the- wiser may believe and hang off of what this fool has said, which will do nothing but cause more discrimination and injustice towards people whom are already having to justify who they are on a daily basis! Psh i'd love to meet that wolly and show him how a true 'personality disorder' behaves lol <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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