I Wish....

[*elizabeth*]

i wish

i wish i had the chance to explain,

why i dont go outside anymore.

why i clung onto i white blanket,

as i lay on the bathroom floor.

i wish id really said to you,

what was going on.

and told you to take me to the hospitl,

as i couldnt take anymore.

i wish id had the strenght to stay awake,

untill you came home from work.

instead of going hesterical,

because i didnt know what to do.

i wish i hadnt locked the door,

so you had to break it down.

because it took you longer,

to find me on the ground.

i wish i hadnt of thrown the boxes away,

they didnt know what id taken.

you couldnt remember what id been prescribed,

but that really isnt you fault.

i wish id heard the rain that night,

falling on the window.

instead i lay flat out,

my arms layden with wires and needles.

i wish id told someone how i felt,

because i really didnt wan to go.

i have to admit im an attention seeker,

and hoped that youd find me.

i wish i could grow a back bown,

or maybe even some wings,

i could get the hell out of this place,

and leave the pain behind.

i wish i hadnt done what i did,

5 days i spent it there.

but i wish they hadnt of let me go,

i might have to do it again.

[Rael]

:hug2: been there wished it all and still done it again myself. keep looking back at the first parts, wishing you had let people know what was going on, how you felt. i know its not always an easy thing to do but try to work out little ways to say something bad is going on in me, have little keywords so you dont have to explain but they know something is wrong.

take care and its a really moving poem

xxx