Coming Off Venlafaxine - Desperately Needing General Support

[claireannon]

Well after having been on venlafaxine for over a year i've decided its time to come off it as its just not doing anything. So, so far its 2 days on 75mg rather than 150mg. Had horible first night with sweats, naseua and terriable low mood. Today have been low, really stressed and feel dizzy on moving my head at all. Also had a few brain zaps. Altogether not much fun and i'm starting to wonder if i should go back on it.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

I feel very much like i've had enough and ideas of ending it come into my head. Its like a pressure building up inside me but maybe thats just the drugs getting out of my system.

*END OF TRIGGER WARNING*

I'm still on the risperidone which makes me sleepy a lot of the time.

I wish i could feel more part of this newsgroup. I feel scared and alone when i'm here very much the outsider. Too many people and my mind tells me no one cares if i'm here or not. Sorry i don't mean any offence or attack by that. How do i go about feeling accepted? I've tried the odd post but its not helping? I need this group but can't get through the door. I'm just so shy both in the real world and online world.

claire

[Roses]

Claire, you are accepted here and if you need support just keep posting honey. People may take a while to reply sometimes but they usually do. Keep talking, it helps. xxx

[marc-74]

Well after having been on venlafaxine for over a year i've decided its time to come off it as its just not doing anything. So, so far its 2 days on 75mg rather than 150mg. Had horible first night with sweats, naseua and terriable low mood. Today have been low, really stressed and feel dizzy on moving my head at all. Also had a few brain zaps. Altogether not much fun and i'm starting to wonder if i should go back on it.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

I feel very much like i've had enough and ideas of ending it come into my head. Its like a pressure building up inside me but maybe thats just the drugs getting out of my system.

*END OF TRIGGER WARNING*

I'm still on the risperidone which makes me sleepy a lot of the time.

I wish i could feel more part of this newsgroup. I feel scared and alone when i'm here very much the outsider. Too many people and my mind tells me no one cares if i'm here or not. Sorry i don't mean any offence or attack by that. How do i go about feeling accepted? I've tried the odd post but its not helping? I need this group but can't get through the door. I'm just so shy both in the real world and online world.

claire

hey claire

i know what your going through, came off the same drug about a year and a half ago,

it'll get much better over the next few days.

just try and chill and be nice to your self,

i found not exerting my self helped it pass.

you will find some great people here, i still feel very alone here some days, but truth is i have found some amazing new friends here, one of the best has just replyed to ya (rose),

she'll see you right.

hope you can relax a bit now.

take care ,

marc xxx :bigarmhug[1]:

[claireannon]

Thank you Marc and Rose. I decided to take an addiitonal dose of the venlafaxine to ease of the symptoms at least for now. I feel a bit of a failure but i know tomorrows another day to try again at the reduced dose.

You say i'm accepted Rose.... How do i get that truth to enter my mind and stick? I feel i'm on a rocky outreach and everything is crumbling arround me I don't know where to turn or what is sensible to hold onto. I can maybe see hands being held out to me in friendship but i'm scared to try and grab hold incase they are an illusion.

So scared, so lonely. I don't even know if thats memory of feelings from my past or based upon the here and now.

My life is so changable at the moment. I can not cope with it. My husband (Andy) goes away overnight on business 3 days a week and the flow of sadness at him leaving on Tuesday and happiness at him returning on Thursday is so unsettling to me. I'm also scared he is going to get hurt.

I just don't feel i can cope anymore. My life is static and i don't think i want it anymore.

After years of friendless existence i do have 2 people that love me now (Julia and Andy) but its like the pain is still too much and i just want out. How selfish of me. My mind has returned to planning when and how.

I can't truely express my pain, i can just feel it. Tears as always are overwhelming me as i write this. I wish i could explain things better, maybe then i would find fitting in easier. I want to feel part of a warm caring group. But i'm unable to feel that ever. I'm pathatic.

claire

[canadian mike]

claire,

I've noticed that a lot of people on these forums feel as you do. All I can suggest is that you keep posting when you need contact, maybe even drop into the chat room, from time to time. When your head tells you that no one cares, look at the responses to your posts. Those are just a few of the people who care.

Mike

[S1CKK]

Well after having been on venlafaxine for over a year i've decided its time to come off it as its just not doing anything. So, so far its 2 days on 75mg rather than 150mg. Had horible first night with sweats, naseua and terriable low mood. Today have been low, really stressed and feel dizzy on moving my head at all. Also had a few brain zaps. Altogether not much fun and i'm starting to wonder if i should go back on it.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

I feel very much like i've had enough and ideas of ending it come into my head. Its like a pressure building up inside me but maybe thats just the drugs getting out of my system.

*END OF TRIGGER WARNING*

I'm still on the risperidone which makes me sleepy a lot of the time.

I wish i could feel more part of this newsgroup. I feel scared and alone when i'm here very much the outsider. Too many people and my mind tells me no one cares if i'm here or not. Sorry i don't mean any offence or attack by that. How do i go about feeling accepted? I've tried the odd post but its not helping? I need this group but can't get through the door. I'm just so shy both in the real world and online world.

claire

Hey, you definitely do belong here and I appreciate a lot what you are saying.

In fact, your post comes just at the right time, since I'm also coming off it since yesterday. It started ok, but now I feel pretty nauseous. I really regret by now taking it in the first place. It's nasty!

My mood isn't too bad yet. But because of the nausea I can't reallly sleep. Tell me how you are doing.

Oh I coming off of 75 mg a day...took half the 37.5 yesterday.

[S1CKK]

just wanted to update:

stomach is bad...I'm tired, as soon as I lie down the world start spinning (that one is better now though)....but the worst is tired and wide awake at the same time.

It sucks! I'm sorry for us both claireannon!

[claireannon]

*tight hugs* SICKK. Feeling dizzy and nauseus still this morning, i'd laugh if its something else! lol

I'm going to the doctors on Wednesday to discuss bringing the dose down more gradually.

There is a chance i'm going to stay on the venlafaxine for a bit longer... I was seriously suicidal last night and couldn't stop crying with the pain and i still feel emotionally very bad this morning.

I do hope it goes better for you soon. Another GP suggested to me taking the full dose once every 3 days to try and make the reduction more gradual. Might be worth trying?

Keep me posted on how things are going.

claire

[Roses]

Hi Claire, sorry I didn't reply last night. A way to feel accepted is to first accept you are worth having friends and you are so worthy Claire. Perhaps print off a list of things that make you worthy and keep it on the fridge or something. Also, keep re-reading this conversation whenever you feel alone. It is a classic symptom that a lot of us feel and it is hard to know how to fill that chronic emptyness. Another thing you could try is to do nice things for yourself - a bubble bath, a TV programme that cheers you up, putting some nice music on (or the radio is good for me), anything to help.

It is hard with your husband being away and it is unsettling. Do you have regular contact whilst he is away? Yeah, if the dosage withdrawal is too steep may make you feel worse and is worth talking to your doctor about it. I hope you feel a little brighter today. I am thinking of you. xxx

[saphyreraine]

Hi Claire, coming off Venlafaxine will be tough, is your doctor keeping an eye on you while you do it? You might want to try bringing the dose down by 37.5mg at a time instead of 75mg?

It's good to "see" you anyway x

[S1CKK]

Hi new update:

I think I'm out off the woods. I actually feel great. My mood has gotten a lot better since I'm off it. Been to doctors today and got some very nice: "I don't give a shit" pills in case the side effects come back .

I didn't even have to ask for it. I'm off all meds for now for I don't react well to all of them. My doc suggest I should go stationary when the next term is over so they could figure out what medication works for me. I agree with that. But for now I don't really need meds. I find psychotherapy much more helpful.

[kelpy]

Hi new update:

I think I'm out off the woods. I actually feel great. My mood has gotten a lot better since I'm off it. Been to doctors today and got some very nice: "I don't give a shit" pills in case the side effects come back .

I didn't even have to ask for it. I'm off all meds for now for I don't react well to all of them. My doc suggest I should go stationary when the next term is over so they could figure out what medication works for me. I agree with that. But for now I don't really need meds. I find psychotherapy much more helpful.

glad you feel better today sickk.

:bigarmhug[1]:

[claireannon]

i'm glad you are feeling better SICKK shows there is light at the end of the tunnel. I've stopped coming off the venlafaxine for a few days. Going to see my GP tomorrow and discuss it with him. My mood just went so dangerously low I do wonder if the venlafaxine is helping me more than i was giving it credit for.

Thank you Rose for your suggestions.

List of things that make me worthy on fridge:

ugh I couldn't think of any so asked Julia, she came up with,

loyal,

trustworthy,

good sense of humour,

fun to be with,

helpful,

considerate.

It doesn't sound like me at all. I'm going to resist writing down a list of how i see myself. I have the list, so how do I even begin to believe it?

Tomorrow i'm seeing my CPN on the next of our fortnightly chats. As usual i've made a list of the things i want to talk to her about. But my mind keeps saying she must be so bored of my monolog. I'm worried i'm going to be in trouble with her. Long story. But the shorten version is. I don't get on well with my psychiatrist (he can't communciate and hates me) and last week i had an appointment with my neuro-psychaitrist. I wanted my risperidone to be increased and possibly be put on a mood stabiliser as well which my psychiatrist had already refused point blank to talk about. So i told my neuro-psychiatrist about how bad my psychatrist was being and did talk about medication with him. Anyway the end result was my risperidone was increased but no additional medication as the neuro-psychiatrist wants to talk with the psychatrist. I was then forced to make a choice between my neuro and psy as to which i want to continue seeing. Simple choice, no! If i see the neuro then i loose my CPN. Reluctantly i choose to continue seeing my CPN and psychiatrist. Anyway if i mention my risperidone to my CPN it will not go down well at all. I'm now on double what the psychiatrist authorised. I never want to see my psychiarist again.

I don't know how to cope with Andy being away every week and yes i am in regular contact. I feel so drained trying to appear ok when he is here and then falling apart when he leaves only to have to appear normal again when he comes back 3 days later. I am always trying to say the right things, its automatic i can't stop myself, but i feel like i'm going to say or do something that will cause him to have a fatal accident while away. Like i hold his life in my hands but have not been given the answers to what each action will cause to happen. I feel so unsettled.

Enough from me.

claire

[Roses]

Claire, I think Andy would be heartbroken to think you broke down every time he left. Can you not got for a middle ground and try and get it stable rather than fluctuating between extremes? You must be exhausted with it all. I think perhaps you should change your psychiatrist. I did and it was the best thing I ever did. It is your right so don't let them tell you otherwise.

The list thing is good but is easier if it is in your own words. If you can't make statements like I am good, attractive etc... can you make statements like I am good at listening or I like spending time with my family. Positive things but they are often easier to say than the bigger statements but can lift your mood the same as they mean something to you.

When the negative thoughts come upon you. Don't push them away, own them and understand them. Then you can tell yourself that they are not real and they should leave you the heck alone! Shout at them, get mad but don't let the bastards win.

Lots of love xxxxx

[claireannon]

woke up feeling awful, so so stressed. Like a lump in my cheast throbing away. With seeing my cpn i'm not sure if to take the risperidone as it makes me very sleepy. I can't live with this pain.

Thank you so much for replying Rose. *tight hugs*

Claire, I think Andy would be heartbroken to think you broke down every time he left. Can you not got for a middle ground and try and get it stable rather than fluctuating between extremes? You must be exhausted with it all. I think perhaps you should change your psychiatrist. I did and it was the best thing I ever did. It is your right so don't let them tell you otherwise.

i don't know how to go for the middle ground? I am controlled by my emotions and the ways i treat people. Thats a good idea, if i need to see a psy i will ask to see another one. Although i've yet to see one thats any good.

The list thing is good but is easier if it is in your own words. If you can't make statements like I am good, attractive etc... can you make statements like I am good at listening or I like spending time with my family. Positive things but they are often easier to say than the bigger statements but can lift your mood the same as they mean something to you.

what happens in my head is i say "i am a good listener" then i get, "no your not and even if you were it is purely so that you feel valuable that you do it, you are self centered and evil". I can fight those statement. Shoot them down for the probably lie they are but it doesn't help. They still ring true in my head i can not remove them. So by using a positive statement i end up feeling the negative stuff thats always going round my head even more.

It doesn't matter what positive statement i use that always happens. I started on a course of CBT and i couldn't get past the first stage as i couldn't believe the positive statements. My self loathing is too ingrained i guess its what makes me me.

30 minutes until i leave for my CPN. Julia is supposed to be going with me but she isn't up yet. I could wake her but that would be wrong as she shouldn't be forced into supporting me. But by not waking her she will feel guilty... Another example of a situation where i can't win. It doesn't matter what i do i'm going to be seeing myself as either self centered (waking her) or evil (letting her become guilty). The choice i make is, to let time pass and hope she wakes up naturally. I admit also there is a part of me that wants her not to wake up in time. I don't understand though where and why that wish is there. Can't see the logic. Although i fear it just proof of me being evil.

Sigh

claire

[Roses]

I understand and I have similar problems Claire. Nut in the end we have to accept help. Think if it were the other way round and you had offered to help someone and you slept through it. You are not wrong to waked her up, you are just following her wishes. She cares about you a great deal by the sounds of it and that is a positive reflection onyour character.

With the positive statements I used to feel the same and I still do to a certain extent it's just that they are pushed out somewhat by the techniques I have learnt to help me. Plus I am on a LOT of medication which mean I kinda in a daze and quite happy in a stoned kinda way. They nearly put me in a home I was so ill and the hospital didn't know what to do for me as I wasn't responding to drugs and treatment. I know where you are coming from. If I can do it I'm sure you can pull your life around honey. You just gotta find something to hold onto. Something for you.

By middle ground I meant to think about why your moods fluctuate so much. You put yourself under a heck of a lot of pressure to be fine and happy when hubbie is back and the strain is too much and when he goes you snap back like a rubber band. I have been here too. If you try and even that out so just be yourself around hubbie and talk to him then when he goes there won't be this Jekyll and Hyde thing. I'm sure all he wants is for you to be happy and if you are feeling sad or tired or whatever he woud understand. If he is working away he may well be feeling isolated and lonely himself and be more understanding than you anticipate. I could be wrong. But hope this helps anyways. xxx

[claireannon]

Again you make a lot of sense Rose, thank you. I didn't wake her but she got up in time to just about get me there. You are right i should have woken her though. Difficult to go against my instinct not to make a fuss.

The appointment with the CPN was torturous. I didn't even make it to full sat down before i was crying. :-(

The first thing we talked about was the pain i'm feeling inside me. She quized me about it and more importantly my reaction to it. (which is to panic and try and get rid of it, which i fail to do). She kept asking me why i fear it. I suppose the reason is i'm not in control of it. She never pushes things but has offered to teach me "mindfulness" which is a way of coping with both physical and emotional pain. We then moved onto my husband being away and the neuro-psy saga. I wasn't told off by her in the slightest and she even gave me some good news. She thinks my psychotherapy will come though in a few months now. But that of course will mean losing my CPN. :-(

Lastly the subject of my stroke came up and for one of the first times i actually burst into tears over it. I admitted that i believe i caused my strokes by either being stressed or wishing myself to have a major illness (inorder to get some attention). She said that i could not have caused the strokes. Which i know logically is correct but emotionally... I don't know.

She gave me the first part of being mindful with my pain. Basically i am to observe it. Be aware its there, study it but not get involved in a battle with it. Hmmmm, i can try but my instinct is to fight it. Which my CPN bluntly said was a no win fight.

I am so lucky to have my CPN she is amazing. From the outside seems aloof and when not in session down right rude but she cares and sees deep inside me. The first professional ever to do that. I owe her a lot. She got me into psychotherapy. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt, should i be treating my psychiatrist as harshly as i am? Has he really been so bad to me.... We just don't communicate well and could that not be purely my fault.

I think i'm wearing Julia out. She seems tense today. I should pull away, protect her as i don't want to loose her support or her friendship. We met 18 months ago on a newsgroup much like this.

claire

[Roses]

It is good that you made it to the appointment and that Julia went with you. It is hard to know when you are pushing someone too far and perhaps you could do something nice together like got for lunch or a movie or shopping to try and bring a bit of positive into the relationship and bond together. Or perhaps have your nails done or something?? Have a little treat and have a laugh to break up the serious stuff.

It sounds like your CPN is pretty clued up and is good for you to talk to. It will be a shame when you switch to psychologist but it is a step forward and psyche can help you in ways they can't. Mindfulness is a powerful tool and I'm sure it will help you a lot. I used to get terrible intrusive thoughts and now I just acknowledge them and say to myself it is just an intrusive thought and they disappear and are no where near so frequent. It is probably a positive thing that you broke down a little as it relieves the tension of pent up emotions and clears the head. Sometimes when we are ill we think people are against us or hurting us when they are trying to help us. If you think your initial judgement of your psyche could be wrong then bear with it a bit longer and see how you feel after the next time you see them. I presume they prescribed your meds and treatment and has referred you for psyche so are working for you at the moment.

I'm sorry you have suffered some strokes it must be hard to cope with a physical illness as well as a mental but they are right it was nothing to do with you thinking negative thoughts about yourself. You are a good person and deserve a happy future. Love xxxxxx

[Shelley]

Didn/t read all of this but I really feel for anyone coming off Venlafaxine.

I did it, and way too quickly. I felt so ill...sweating, shaking, nausea, head aches, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, anger, and It was the first and last time I/ve ever punched my H I just flipped over the stupidest thing, but it was MY fault I pretty much stopped It dead, unknowing of the effects, I guess SLOWLY is the key.

Hope you feel better soon.

x

[caijes]

coming off venaflaxine is one of the most difficult things to do.

the side effects of coming off it r horrendus

i think the worst one was the brain zaps u get.

i was on my 3rd day of being v free and boy was i suffering

i collapsed 4 times in one day so my mom called the paramedics out to check me out.

well they rang the hospital to tell them what was going on and one of the doctors thier told me it would peak around 3-4 days then i would start to feel better

and u know what he was right cus by the end of day 4 i did feel better.

so whislt the initial 1st few days is hell it can be done

[Boy_Blue]

Didn/t read all of this but I really feel for anyone coming off Venlafaxine.

I did it, and way too quickly. I felt so ill...sweating, shaking, nausea, head aches, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, anger, and It was the first and last time I/ve ever punched my H I just flipped over the stupidest thing, but it was MY fault I pretty much stopped It dead, unknowing of the effects, I guess SLOWLY is the key.

Hope you feel better soon.

x

Hey,

Just wanted to let you know that I came off it also. It was not easy. It sounds if you are not in the right place to come off it at the mo. If it helps you cope then stick with it for a bit or drop your dose. I went cold turkey and it is very hard. I don't know if you ever took drugs (illegal type) but it is like coming down off a strong E for about a month. The worst thing is the nightmares and brain shocks. I came off twice cold turkey and would be very reluctant to go back on meds. They work for a bit with me but unless I keep uping the dose I end up back at square one a bit fatter and less randy (has its perks for the wife).

If you do decide to come off them then give me a shout with any questions you may have. Hope you do feel better soon x

[Shelley]

No, im not coming off it now, this happened 4 years ago, I would never take Venlafaxine again.

I have taken speed and I think It was like a huge month long come down.

[claireannon]

[quote

Just wanted to let you know that I came off it also. It was not easy. It sounds if you are not in the right place to come off it at the mo. If it helps you cope then stick with it for a bit or drop your dose. I went cold turkey and it is very hard. I don't know if you ever took drugs (illegal type) but it is like coming down off a strong E for about a month. The worst thing is the nightmares and brain shocks. I came off twice cold turkey and would be very reluctant to go back on meds. They work for a bit with me but unless I keep uping the dose I end up back at square one a bit fatter and less randy (has its perks for the wife).

If you do decide to come off them then give me a shout with any questions you may have. Hope you do feel better soon x

[Roses]

You are not making a fuss Clare and this forum is here for exactly the reason you used to. To gain information and support with mental health issues. I'm glad you felt able to talk to us. Sometimes talking about it is the hardest part and it takes guts. xxx

[S1CKK]

You're definitely not making a fuss. I came off it and it wasn't fun. Not at all. I hope it'll be easier for you next time. Maybe you should try reducing it even slower.

*hope you're allright*