Two Sides To Mind

[benji]

There is the dominant side that says you must all ways be nice, then there is the oen that tries to make you do bad things,

i sure every one is the same it is just that they can keep the bad side locked away, some times the bad side can be dominant

and makes you feel like a worthless piece of junk, the good side tries to over come the bad side and some times win quite easily, but other times the bad side kicks the crap out out of the good side, these are the times ending it all seems the best thing to do, but like in the films, the seemingly beaten hero gets up and defeats the villain and stops him setting of the bomb or what ever dirty deed in the nick of time, my hero is getting old and battered, may be i left it to long to get the pills to fix him up.

[Roses]

Perhaps instead of separating your persona into 'good' and 'bad' you think about all the positives they BOTH bring to you and get them to work together? My 'bad' side is also the one with courage, can speak out, has determination etc... Maybe it is not about controlling the 'bad' but changing how you look at yourself. xxxxx

[AndyL]

It's also important to remember that everyone, everyone has both "good" and "bad" in them. Sometimes good people do bad things and vice versa. The key when you do something with negative consequences--and what separates the good people from the bad people--is to try your best to make amends and try to learn from what you do so you don't repeat it.

And as long as we're talking about metaphors in stories, nobody symbolizes this more than Darth Vader. Good guy who turns evil but is eventually redeemed. (He must make amends by dying, but he did some really bad things!) Mythology for our time. Stories help people make sense of themselves and the world around them.

So, I may never be as evil as Darth Vader, but I must recognize that I have some part of that in me as, indeed, do all people. It's what I do with it that counts, and how I respond to my actions if it does come out in some way.

Food for thought. You're not alone.

[Roses]

Wow, you are reading my mind Andy. I too think of Darth Vader when I think about this subject. The battle for 'good' and 'evil'. And I totally agree with you that it is how we respond to things that maketh the man (so the speak). Someone once said to me that if you pray for strength would God give you a stronger body or the opportunity to be strong? Something else to think about. xxx

[benji]

I guess you are all right, it has been a bit of a bad day today, that sounds pathetic people go through far worse every day and cope.

[Roses]

It is not pathetic Benji. Some of my worst days have been caused by the little things in life. xxxxx

[benji]

It is not pathetic Benji. Some of my worst days have been caused by the little things in life. xxxxx

The thing is it is hard to understand, i thought i was tough, at work i would not take any crap and stood my ground

they still want me back, i don't know what went wrong there is no reason.

Thanks for talking with me.

[Roses]

They want you back because they see all the good things about you and appreciate what you can bring to the job (btw what is it)? It is only us who feel the inner turmoil but with good friends you can get through it. I'm sure yo uare wondeful at what you do. I volunteer at my kid's school and they are always praising me but it doesn't go in. Then one of the kids will come up to me and ask if I want help stacking the books or something and then I feel good and I know why I keep trying. xxxxx

[benji]

They want you back because they see all the good things about you and appreciate what you can bring to the job (btw what is it)? It is only us who feel the inner turmoil but with good friends you can get through it. I'm sure yo uare wondeful at what you do. I volunteer at my kid's school and they are always praising me but it doesn't go in. Then one of the kids will come up to me and ask if I want help stacking the books or something and then I feel good and I know why I keep trying. xxxxx

I am a maintenance engineer, a good job because i worked nights and was my own boss most of the time.

[benji]

You are brave working with kids i would'nt know how to deal with them now.

[Roses]

Thanks Benji. How are you today? xxx

[Crocus]

I don't see my mind as good and bad. Who says having thoughts of self harming or suicidal thoughts should be classed as bad? They are not bad they are neutral, they are hurt and in pain thoughts. But all the same they are just thoughts. It is only actions that are bad or good. And even then it's not black and white. For example if I am angry or in pain, and I want to lash out at someone else, or want to kill myself and I have no other outlet or coping mechanism so cut myself, this is the lesser of two evils so to speak, and therfore is not bad, but in fact has protected me or someone else from much worse harm.

If I'm hurting and need to cry, you could say I am having bad thoughts, but I'm not because it's ok to feel hurt, for what I or we have been through in our lives we deserve to feel hurt or angry etc... The trick is not to fight against it because you think it is bad, but to allow it and validate it, let it come and work it's course through to completion, all the thoughts and feeling, let them come and flow through you till you feel better again.

If you're thoughts tell you to do bad things, do not view the thoughts as bad but view the actions as bad, that way you can recognise that it's ok to think these thoughts as long as you don't act upon them. I believe fighting them makes them stronger and then makes not acting on them harder. By fighting them you give them more power and focus, by allowing them and giving them validation you're allowing them to rest and subside.

[benji]

Hi, Roses, SweetDeanie, i can not allow the bad thoughts as some times they will repeat over and over, my mind never shuts up, so i worry i might actually do them, the doctor says it is depression, i think i an a 100% maniac.

[benji]

Woke up feeling like shit this mrning heart pumpimg way fast covered in sweat head to heavy for body sorry i talk o much

t head is saying sleep and wake up at same time

[Roses]

Sorry you are feeling like this today. The bad thoughts you speak of sound like what they call 'intrusive thoughts'. I had them really bad for a long time and nearly walked away from my kids partly because of them. But you can make it so that they don't hurt so bad. xxx

[benji]

Sorry you are feeling like this today. The bad thoughts you speak of sound like what they call 'intrusive thoughts'. I had them really bad for a long time and nearly walked away from my kids partly because of them. But you can make it so that they don't hurt so bad. xxx

How to do that Roses, it is hard to think between aware and not hell thisis weired

[Roses]

Let them come and when they do, tell yourself it is an intrusive thought and not what you feel is true. Tell it to go away and it will. It is not real, it is not how you are feeling it is just intrusive and random. After a while the process becomes automatic and you don't go through the mill all the time. They just come and go like any other thought does. If you are thinking about eating strawberrry jam you don't analyse why and your motivation or whether it is good or bad as it is just a random thought.

[axtell1080]

I don't see my mind as good and bad. Who says having thoughts of self harming or suicidal thoughts should be classed as bad? They are not bad they are neutral, they are hurt and in pain thoughts. But all the same they are just thoughts. It is only actions that are bad or good. And even then it's not black and white. For example if I am angry or in pain, and I want to lash out at someone else, or want to kill myself and I have no other outlet or coping mechanism so cut myself, this is the lesser of two evils so to speak, and therfore is not bad, but in fact has protected me or someone else from much worse harm.

If I'm hurting and need to cry, you could say I am having bad thoughts, but I'm not because it's ok to feel hurt, for what I or we have been through in our lives we deserve to feel hurt or angry etc... The trick is not to fight against it because you think it is bad, but to allow it and validate it, let it come and work it's course through to completion, all the thoughts and feeling, let them come and flow through you till you feel better again.

If you're thoughts tell you to do bad things, do not view the thoughts as bad but view the actions as bad, that way you can recognise that it's ok to think these thoughts as long as you don't act upon them. I believe fighting them makes them stronger and then makes not acting on them harder. By fighting them you give them more power and focus, by allowing them and giving them validation you're allowing them to rest and subside.

HI THERE....I SO NO WAT U MEAN I THINK WHEN I HAVE MY BAD THOUGHTS THAT IM GOING MAD.....I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE A BAD DAY COS I MTEND TO GET MY BAD THOUGHTS MORE IT WORRIES ME THAT ILL ACT ON THE BAD THOUGHTS COS IT CONTROLS U MIND.....I FEEL MY BAD SIDE IS TO OVER POWERING MOST TIMES I JUST SO WISH IT GO AWAY......

FROM AXTELL1080.XX