"oh That Shouldnt Be A Problem"

[hummm_mabbe]

Ok this is just a pet peeve of mine, that is currently relevant ...

I have been back to the sleep clinic trying to get the teething problems sorted with my sleep apnoea machine. The thing that drives me mad is that I am having mutliple problems that happen every night, and then when I tell them to the sleep nurse she says "oh but that shouldnt be a problem".

IT IS A PROBLEM!! THATS WHY I AM TELLING YOU THIS!

Its like "maybe if I pretend its not happening, then it will go away?", and then she suggests all the things Ive already tried ... like theres a series of stock solustions on a bit of paper and if one of those doesnt fit, then oh well "it shouldnt" be there ...

I know this is part of my other issues, the sense that no one listens, no one will help, people dismiss me and so I end up having to fend for myself and feel frightened ... I ended up getting angry at her on the phone just now. I said "I know it SHOULDNT happen, but it IS happening", and she just kind of almost pretended I hadnt said anything! GAH!! To make it more galling, the thing I am having the problem with was meant to be the solution to ANOTHER problem, and so her suggestion was "go back to the thing you were already having the problem with" ...

Its like circular thinking and so enormously frustrating. Just wanted to vent really ... cant stand people that deny reality!

[Data]

I think sometimes rather than people denying reality, I think of it as people having a different perception of it. The mismatch in your perceptions can be frustrating.

Perhaps they are inexperienced or does not have enough training or guidance (from the consultant?) and is - as you say - getting solutions from a book. It sounds like therapy by flowchart and very frustrating and not what you need. Can you ask to see someone else?

[DMHvln1]

I think that kind of response from people happens when they don't know the answer, and instead of telling you they don't have an answer, they present it as something that is going to stay being your problem because they don't see it that way; again, because they are ignorant of an answer and can't make themselves vulnerable to let people know, they don't have all the answers.

Makes sense?

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi DMH

Makes TOTAL sense! I think you are right, and in fact thats very much how my family are. That probably explains why this kind of thing holds such an inflammatory response for me!

Also thank you for making your 2nd post ever a helpie post to me, I very much appreciate that :)

[DMHvln1]

Glad it helped,

That kind of response also drives me up the wall, but when I remind myself that it is ignorance and their own insecurities what brings up that kind of answer, gosh! I feel so much better about myself.

I am the kind of person who will admit my shortcomings and my insecurities, I guess that is why it bothers me when others don't.

[profound1]

I have to agree with both meme and DMV, either explanation leaves you understandably feeling frustrated. Grrrr!

Is your sleep apnoea machine a BIPAP or CPAP machine? I am familiar with them so might be able to help....... on second thoughts though, I might not know the answers either, then I wouldn't know what to say now that we have analysed this issue. I should quit while I'm ahead!!! Seriously though, if I can help I will.

p1

[Rael]

god yeah thats annoying. actually something along that line happened tonight. i had to get some money out and needed to go to the shop (about 30ft from my house) but i am terrified of leaving the house alone and it saves on hassle and panic attacks and diazapam if my bf just comes with me. he said 'no, go yourself'. i just shrugged and said 'oh ok never mind' and sat down to read. he kicks off saying 'what, so your not going now, thats stupid, now you wont be able to get.........it shouldnt be a problem and i dont see what the big deal is'. never mind the fact that it has been a problem for me for years and he knows this, but this one time it should miraculously become not a problem

the problem doesnt fit into a box therefore it doesnt exist. baffling. anyway, that may have been relevant got carried away in rant mode. it does drive me nuts when people deny what you are clearly telling them. they just dont like not having all the answers.

xxx

[DMHvln1]

I myself deal with sleep apnea,

got a BPAP machine but haven't used it in several months, which is probably why I am having problems again... duh!

Due to all of my physical ailments, have to see many different doctors on a regular basis and depending on the day, I can put up with office staff's ignorance and stupidity.

The worse for me are the people that work at the psych office.

Come on!, everybody who goes there is because they have mental and emotional problems, yet some of the "support" staff feel the need of playing the "control" card and be extremely rude and uncaring.

I almost broke my hand on my last visit from hitting the wall telling my psych doctor about their behavior.

Anyway,

I went away from your problem, sorry.

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi guys

Thanks for the nice replies! I think you have helped me to see that this for me is a validation issue. When someone says "thats not a real problem" they are invaiudating me. Really what they are saying is "that wouldnt be a problem for me so it cannot be for you", and I guess as invalidation is so intimately linked with my own issues, it makes sense this would make me feel very angry.

In terms of the technical issue DMV and Profound, it is to do with the flow rate in the mask. It seems now I have a humidifer that I cannot get enough flow with the new nasal mask, which they gave me because I was not getting on with the full face. The nasal pillows that I already had gave enough flow before, but was so uncomfortable because it dried my nostrils out and felt like someone had shoved lit matches up there! The full face is so hit or miss - its either too tight or leaking, though eventually after what seems like hours every night, I finally get the thing to sit right. The problem is that insomnia caused by the mask offsets any gain from actually sleeping properly.

The nasal pillows sit right straight away which is why I wanted to be able to use them. But now I have the humidifier, I am back to having apneas with the pillows and the nasal mask I was given. Only the full face will give me enough flow - but thats what the nurse said - "There shouldnt be a problem with the flow in the pillows, thats very unlikely. Why dont you go back to the full face?". She denied there was any problem with the pillows and then her solution was to use the very thing I had seen her, that day, having a problem with. The solution to my mind was to up the pressure on my CPAP, but she wasnt about to do that and just said thats wht it must be.

[shed]

lol! this reminds me of myself. i become so so irritated when people won't accept what i'm telling them. i know for me it goes back to trying and trying to tell people what was happening to me at home but always ignored or told i was 'sick' or 'weird' for saying stuff like that.

a few months back i had a lot of problems getting my prescription. one month i went to the chemist and told them i had come to pick up my prescription.

'when did you put it in?'

'i asked the doctors a few days ago'

'but when did you bring the prescription in?'

me 'i don't have to bring it in, it comes direct from the doctors' (thinking grrr you already know that, i do this the same way every bloody month)

'oh. well it should be here then'

shuffle, mutter.

'i'm afraid we haven't had anything from the doctors'

great.

'but i need my pills'

'well i'm afraid we haven't had anything.'

fucks sake

'so what do i do now?'

'why don't you go to the doctors and ask for a repeat prescription?'

yeh good one, i like a nice hike in the rain.

'but i already.. oh whatever i'll go back again'

walk to the doctors

'i've just been to the chemist and they won't give me my repeat prescription'

'oh, i'm sorry about that'

shuffle mutter walks off hmmm

'well it's been sent to them. they should have got it.'

aaaaaaaaaargh

'when was it sent?'

'a few days ago. they should have it.'

'so what do i do?'

'well i would go and tell them that it has been sent'

walk to chemists

'the doctors said it was sent a few days ago and you should have it'

'well then we should have received it'

shuffle chatter mutter hmm

'are you sure you asked for it?'

'i think i know what i did'

'well then we should have it'

shuffle

'what happens now? i do actually need my pills.'

'maybe you should go back to the doctor. i don't think they have sent it.'

omg

'but they told me they had sent it. i've just been there.'

'well then we should have received it'

'so what can i do? can't you phone them or something?'

'i'm sorry but we can't give you your prescription'

'what??? but i need my medication. it says on all the packets that you shouldn't stop them suddenly.'

'but we haven't had anything from the doctors.'

by this time i am fuming. i get quite cross and raise my voice

'all i want is my pills'

and get escorted from the chemist for being 'aggressive and upsetting the staff'

:0

i always get a prescription now ages before i run out!

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi Shed

Yes that rings bells for me too I get extremely angry in those situations. Im not on meds anymore so dont have this prollem, but can totally empathise especially as I was on effexor, maximum withdrawal fun!

:(