I'm Sad......

[treacle14]

treacle hun, ive read this thread and i just want to hug you. i dont have much knowledge about social services procedures im afraid, but i am a mum and could not imagine what your going through for one second. have you tried getting a lawyer involved as it sounds from your posts like you havent had a fair deal. its no ones fault to be ill and by the sounds of things, being a mum to your daughter would give you something to live for.

adoption is a scary thing - im adopted, so i know what its like years down the road. social services never look that far ahead, so dont give up your fight. i know they are probably trying to err on the side of caution after all the recent bad articles in the press but its wrong to tar everyone with the same brush.

good luck *hug*

yes thesloaneranger has a point did you get a lawyer involved ? you dont sound sarcy or angry but even so it is understandable to be emotional right now. am i right in saying that your mother has reported you to the police because you have bpd and thought you would be dangerous to the child ? or have you had an incident with the police before baby was born ? i have 2 kids myself and i would like to understand your predicament.

my names adam by the way :-)

Hi ya, thanks for your kind reply. During a bad spell in 2006 my mother reported me to the police twice. Once for blocking her way on the way back from one of my persoanltiy disorder unit assessment appointment, and the other for attacking her. Nothing came of it, but its still there on your CRB charged or not. Not that it makes any difference but in reality neither of the claimed incidents happened.

Yes there is a solicitor involved, but as I have broken down emtionally and totally lost my confidence at st.andrews contact centre to show that I am a capable mother as I am being watched for 4 hours constantly along with her dad. I feel shamed, guilty, angry with mysef for not having that fighting spirit in me as I know very little about kids not having been round them very much. That the last time I tried to visit her I just started to cry and left after 10 mins and in soical services eyes its me stomping off like a child who can't get their own way. In realityI don't want to just sit and cry around my daughter. She only 6 months but young and don't wish to do it in front of her. My mother didn't help by keep telling me i shouldn't have kids, can't have kids, wouldn't cope with kids, and that was for ywars until I fell pregnant with her dad.

Thanks again and thanks for wanting to understand my situation.

hi again treacle !

why is your mother trying to interfere so much ? i understand you are her daughter etc but she has no right ! this is the reason i have a problem with labels, the minute you are diagnosed with BPD the "normal" types just see you as a crazy person ? not a human being anymore !? this is why im so reluctant to seek help. we are all human with feelings and are capable of loving and caring for our kids ! i think you need to get the support of people who believe in you as a parent and get a petition started. see a lawyer or citizens advice about it no-one should have the right to take your child away ! you were only crying because of the situation and it overwhelmed you ! surely social services should understand seeing you have a mental illness ? no one has the right to judge you treacle you have had a hard time of things and i think you should have a little me time and charge your batteries so you can be ready for a fight !

p.s. are you from brum by any chance ? just noticed you said st andrews contact centre ??

adam.

Hi ya adam, and everyone

No I'm from midlands but not brum. Yes I've had a lawyer from the start, but really everything was against me from the beginning. I never knew until about 3-4 weeks ago that I was taken to see a Professor of Dr of some sort due to my behaviour. The father of my baby has it sussd. My mum is a retired mental health staff nurse. My dad was head of the finance deptartment for the NHS here where I live. I can imagine that she didn't think my behaviour at three was "normal" and must have nagged at my dad for me to be seen. To this dad she denies all knowledge, but then again my mum does lie. I needed someone when I was pregnant, my mum was not an obvious choice as we don't have that type of relationship. I sought help but it never came thru in time. I suppressed all anxities, drank here and there and smoked. Social services accused me of being uncooperative so what else could I do but be co-operative. My dad brought me up honesty is the best policy but in todays 21st century not sure it is. He died 11 years ago by the way. My mum has done nothing but interfere with my life since my dad died really. She's not a bad person, sometimes her heart is in the right place, but on an emtional level mother to daughter she really hasn't got a clue. All she knows is to put me down and criticise me. Nothing is ever good enough for her and all expects me to be there for her. Whenever she has done something for me like give me a lift somehwere I give her petrol money buit then she will still put me down for it. I love her so much, am a mum myself now, but a few weeks back she left a message saying she had no daughter but a grand daughter. If I had a pound for every time I heard I want nothing more to do with you then........

Lifes shit, the psychologist who saw the father to my daughter thinks he needs treatment in a family unit with our daughter. No, he's just educated and got no respect for health professionals as he had a worst childhood than I had but he got over it. I did when I was working. The worst mistake I made was seeing a counsellor recommended by my aunt (mum's 15 yearer old sister).

Thanks for sharing your words of support. Please someone just help me to gain my confidence, act like a 35 year old, and at times to stop throwing a tantrum. I'd like to be an adult one day.

Thanks again for support. There's a bit more of recent events is PD issues if anyone wants a read. Also, how long can you blog in troductions before you have to go to another forum?

Luv and hugs to everyone who has been kind enough to read and post support to me.