Insomnia

[mYeXdrEaM]

i dont know why im posting but...eh....

im going to sound crazy....

i was at school yesterday... and these two teachers were laughing at me...mean....and then i saw demons come out of them.... and they were laughing and pointing evilly at me ...i was seriously sitting there shaking...my friend told me later. i dont believe in..*demons* but .... i really saw the demons in them.....

last night i didnt sleep. actually i fell asleep finally at 6:30 and woke up at 7:30. the rest of the night i was up... i was drawing out of control.... i drew the two demon faces..... which then turned into iif u look at it a differant way it looks like anither face....so i did that...and its so abstract..... and...distorted.... and it has a red tint over the whole thing .... but i could just not even think about going to sleep. whenever id leave my room to sharpen my pencil id get paranoid that something was behind me. when i finaly did try to go to sleep... i couldnt sleep on my side because i was to paranoid of something being behind me. i slept for that one hour in the corner.

i have to go to school today.. (i only usually go once a week....home study) and im scared to go. i dont want to go..... i know nobody is going to reply.... but .....

im not making it up and im not crazy....they were there.

[mycroft]

I don't think you're making it up for a second and it doesn't sound crazy.

When I was in the grip of my major depression I got terrible night terrors and visions (there has been som e good postng on this site recently about this stuff, particularly religious/evil aspects of it). I used to get, 3 or 4 times a night, this 'thing' that would sit on my chest and stop me breathing. Doctors said it was common night terrors or sleep paralysis but that really didn't help me. Got so I wouldn't go to sleep, wouldnt even try. Which of course made the days even worse - I wouldn't enter a room on my own, would get my friends to come to the toilet with me at college coz I wouldn't vulnerable because the 'thing' was after me during the day.

You're not alone in seeing this stuff. But its not 'real' in the accepted sense. Its subjective reality overlaying objective reality. Your fears become intertwined with whats going on so mocking teachers become evil, or in my case a place i hated going (college) became the hunting ground of something that was after me and anytime I was alone (my fear of loneliness) mainly at night in bed, became the scene for something that was hurting me. Anyway thats what my therapist says, and it makes sense to me.

Hope school today wasn't so bad and hope you get some sleep tonight.

[mYeXdrEaM]

.....About school today... it got worse. i cried in the bathroom for an hour.

she forgot that she said she didnt want me reading this book yet ..which she said last week.... or...supposedly she forgot... yeah.... and i was like... well u really didnt want me to read it..and she started yelling in my face... saying i was irresponsible.... and shit...when she was wrong.. and i went to the bathroom and cried...my friend was telling me its not a big deal but it was cause that meant i had to do a weeks worth of english as fast as i could....within 30 minutes. i stayed on the other side of the room from her the whole time...crying in the corner while trying to correct school work. and then it started up again.

i see her look up at me demonicly, staring at me.... for the longest time...i started to shake.... overcome with fear...

then i see her and the other teacher in this corner of the room...whispering.... and looking at me... and i see her hands at her face in a weird way i cant explain...and they are all this time demons.... they are evil.... they want to destroy me.

and the sad part is i truely am scared to death of them. they really are demons in them. and i dont even BELIEVE in demons or any religion for that matter.