Roses Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Why does it come on like this? Why do I get this for noe reason at all. In the past it's all been explained away as a reaction or cos of abuse or kids being young and challenging. So what is the reason now? Why does it have to be this way? I'm so confused and so angry and so just aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh.......*Sigh*What am I supposed to do now? Who am I? Am I a Mother, a wife, a teacher, what? What do I do? I just want to run away and leave this life, I can't handle it any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a reason...which makes it all the more frustrating and harder to understand.At times you can feel fine other times great and some times like the worlds about to end.Trying to find a reason will drive you mad.Try to focus on ways to lift your mood,make you feel a little better.You know you are capable hun cos you have felt good before...you've got through these feelings before.You are a mother,wife and teacher...all of them but you are also you...a person who may struggle at times and need support but someone who has the stregnth to get through it.When you chat about your family to me...kids and hubby i'm almost envious of that close bond and openess that you have with them.You sound like you have great fun together and wonderful support off your hubby.Your kids are lucky to have a mother who loves them the way you do rose...i can tell by the way you speak about them how proud you are.You should be proud of you for how far you hae come despite all you have been through.You are kind and funny and supportive to others.Some times we are blind to our own qualities so we focus on the bad things.You have so many good qualities Roses.Write them down and read them over and over...i bet your hubby could add a few...it sounds like he loves the bones of you.take care and i am here to talk.xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quiteemma Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 (((((((((((((((((roses))))))))))))))))) sending you hugs :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawneywarney Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 sometimes hun i think thats half of it, we are not just one person, its like im mum, girlfriend, friend, godmum, sister, aunty the list goes on and it all gets to us at times, and the lows we have hit us for no reason at all, it sucks cos we are constantly trying to find out what caused it.All i have to say is that you are a fantastic person and we are all listening and hoping that u feel better soon.sorry im waffling, ignore the above and feel the hug im sending u,love ya x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Oh no, I hate when a mood cloud descends over my mind! It happens to a lot of people, you are not alone, dear Roses!The good news is, you know the fog always lifts again.....eventually.....sometimes just knowing that takes the heat off of deciding "who" we are NOW NOW NOW! You can just be. Plain and without a title, just a person lounging in a chair surfing the web like millions.You don't need a reason. Sometimes I think for me, when I start hunting down reasons for my mood clouds, that's when I make myself sick. The moods come and go, spike and plummet, like the weather.I'm working the Butterfly Effect. Ya know, how a butterfly beating its wings can start a hurricane.... I just try to keep a positive beat.If you don't know who you are at the moment, then just focus on doing whatever seems reasonably harmless, and FEELS GOOD. Red chakra! remember, wise man say, "you do not say, at 1:00 I make fart. Fart just happen!"adding my light to yours,cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Thank you all, hubbie came home early and has just been talking to me about his thoughts and I've agreed he can talk to my doctor tomorrow if he wants to. Just keep crying and staring but will keep safe. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 hey hunny, must be summat in the water, i did that last nite, no trigger really, just all of a sudden things got to me BIG HUGZ to you xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
les66 Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi RosesAs everyone else has said, these feelings come over us very shaprly and suddenly and no matter how hard we try find a reason for it, we never do. I can go from being great early morning to want out this life by mid morning and that can stay with me for a few days. It is a horrible feeling, the thoughts, the crying, the questioning, the guilt.Just wanted tell you your not alone. thinking of you and be safe.I do hope your ok soon Take CareLeslie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks Les and Tray. I lovked myself out of house (again) and hubbie couldn't get back til 9.30 (I dropped kids at breakfast club 8am) so was gardening like a bloody insane woman to try and keep well and not just run off. Just taken morning meds now and trying to calm down. I'm inside now, doors are locked and I am safe but I don't feel safe. I feel that they are all watching the house, they saw me gardening at an early hour and they think I am wierd and shouldn't be here. Just keep typing, just keep typing, just keep typing...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 there deffo must be something in the water, as i was under a big black cloud for no real reason yesterday too keep typing and keep strong hun *big hug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 not knowing the reason for feeling like that is horrible and i know it frustrates me not being able to at least work out why its going on, i supposed i feel the need to have to justify everything.im glad you are safe, and hopefully actually being able to feel safe will come. you should see some of the things i do at odd hours of the day (housework at 4am) it doesnt matter when you do things and has nothing to do with anyone. i hope the meds have helped and you are feeling a little better this afternoon.keep posting here and talking to us.take carexxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 I get that too. Its all part of rollercoaster ride of mental health. Emotions everywhere and losing track of who, why and what you are. however i do know that you are a very kind and thoughful person. so even when you get lost, you have that to rememberWe are here for you hunxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Sorry you're feeling bad, Roses! Good job distracting, gardening was a really good idea! I bet your garden looks wonderful and that is always cheery. (((((Hug!)))) Hope you feel better soon. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thank you all for your kind words and support, it really helps me to feel a bit more grounded. I am doing all the right things and trying to look forward. Tomorrow I start the art group in the morning so am concentrating on being well enough to get there as I really want to go. Rael, I have the blankets tucked under the bed again so I don't get hurt. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 glad to hear it hun. got mine there too recently. its good that you are keeping trying and i am proud of you for not giving up. i hope the art group goes really well for you, sounds like it will be good xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Dear Roses, Glad you are keeping yourself safe, and I hope the art group goes well! I know how much you enjoy doing art and it should be fun doing it within a community.love ya girl!cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 hey roses u know im still here 4 u u can still pm me 24-7 20 gajillion times a day i wish u would please i miss it im sending u the force to be with u i love u im sorry its been so rough your my best mate im always here for u love u always jades :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Thank you all. The art group went really well and it helped. xxxJades - still love 'ya and I know you are there for me I just also know that Marc isn't doing toop great and you got the mini-mod thing going on. Don't worry the rebellion is still alive! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed the art group! Now I'm dying of feline curiosity to know what kind of project y'all worked on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 I just did some Iris folding cards today. Next week I am going to start a canvas piece, I've never painted on canvas before and I'm gonna get string and curl it round for a huge sun and have it across the background for a rainbow and then paint it all up with acrylic paint to give a 3D picture. I might get some really thick blue and put it on in daubs then rund water through it to make it run like rain drops and blur the colours a bit, not sure. We haven't currently got a joint piece. Thanks for asking. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 your sounding much more positive today...here if you need me.glad you enjoyed the classxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted May 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 Thanks Dani, it really helped me this class today. Given me something to do for 'me'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 I love your idea for your 3d acrylic on canvas! I've just begun dabbling in acrylics too and I have some canvas I've been getting ready to paint on. I love how painting can be so soothing and a fun way to release emotions and feelings. Glad you enjoyed yourself and sound more positive.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted May 15, 2009 Report Share Posted May 15, 2009 What am I supposed to do now? Who am I? Am I a Mother, a wife, a teacher, what? What do I do? I just want to run away and leave this life, I can't handle it any more.A Mother to a child/children, A Wife to a husband, A Teacher to pupils.Thanks Dani, it really helped me this class today. Given me something to do for 'me'.Yaaayyyy!When I read your first post, that was my initial thought, your roles all depended on others.I am really pleased you are doing something for you.Art sounds really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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