claire31 Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi, I've not been on here for a few weeks. Think I've been kidding myself that things have been getting better.... Just need to whinge to somebody and i'm affraid its on here! I suffer from OCD relating to contamination. My fear is that I have a disease (even though I don't) that I will pass it onto someone else and they will die and it will be my fault. I've been off work for 4 months and I am now on a phased return to get back to my normal hours. I work as a nurse so the contamination thing is a real problem. Having CBT and that is helping in everyday life, but feel at work that all my fears are concentrated there. No body except my boss at work is aware and I am really struggling. Getting myself into a state before I go in, can't touch anything there and come home in a panic that I've forgotten something or have touched something that someone else will touch . Any advice?! Occupational health really keen for me to be back and I can't stay off forever but at this rate I'm gonna go mad! Therapist really good and gives me experiments for the exposure and cognitive thinking strategies, but at work I just feel like I am drowning and cannot breathe. Any one experienced the same, or any advice? Can't go on like this and can't keep pretending that everything is fine.Sorry i've ranted on!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading, take care to all of you. Sending lots of hugs x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted May 17, 2009 Report Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hello claire31I get OCD tendencies and I am very familiar with kidding myself that things have been getting better....I think that where we go wrong, is that we dont belive deep down that things are getting better, maybe we are responding to percieved outside pressures. Things will get better, if we believe them to, if we have an inner knowing that they will.This does not mean we shoudl doubt ourselves or be negative, on the contrary, positive is always the only way, but we have to more than say its getting better, we have to know they are, to feel it getting better, to know better is coming, as it already is feeling better.My OCD was checking, I had other areas but checking was one that sticks out in my mind as I write this.I feel diseased. I know its not real and its just my irrational mind, but the disease I feel I have is down to the fact that people took their shit out on me so long, I feel I have a dirty infection inside which attracts more people to treate me negatively. All purely irrational though.If we were diseased we would soon know, symptoms, infecting others etc, but because we havent, we are not infecting people, and we are not showing symptoms of infection.I feel like my symptoms are hidden from me, but anyone in a bad mood picks up on them instantly, and is drawn to me.Irrational again.I used to be a nurse but they let go of me, as they suggested nursing wasnt my niche.On the wards, I was like frank spencer (google him if you dont know), a hapless, good natured tragi comedic failure,The procedures in nursing were pretty contamination proof, when I nursed (1985-86) so sticking by those should keep the OCD voice inside of us quiet.Can you have counseling for the first few weeks or so?, to ease you back. Maybe bring up procedures which trigger OCD, so the counsellor and you can work with ways to combat the OCD.As you do things make a mental note so you dont forget you have done them, and dont get the urge to repeatedly check?Sorry I am of limited help, but I hope something in the post above is of some help to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire31 Posted May 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2009 Hello claire31I get OCD tendencies and I am very familiar with kidding myself that things have been getting better....I think that where we go wrong, is that we dont belive deep down that things are getting better, maybe we are responding to percieved outside pressures. Things will get better, if we believe them to, if we have an inner knowing that they will.This does not mean we shoudl doubt ourselves or be negative, on the contrary, positive is always the only way, but we have to more than say its getting better, we have to know they are, to feel it getting better, to know better is coming, as it already is feeling better.My OCD was checking, I had other areas but checking was one that sticks out in my mind as I write this.I feel diseased. I know its not real and its just my irrational mind, but the disease I feel I have is down to the fact that people took their shit out on me so long, I feel I have a dirty infection inside which attracts more people to treate me negatively. All purely irrational though.If we were diseased we would soon know, symptoms, infecting others etc, but because we havent, we are not infecting people, and we are not showing symptoms of infection.I feel like my symptoms are hidden from me, but anyone in a bad mood picks up on them instantly, and is drawn to me.Irrational again.I used to be a nurse but they let go of me, as they suggested nursing wasnt my niche.On the wards, I was like frank spencer (google him if you dont know), a hapless, good natured tragi comedic failure,The procedures in nursing were pretty contamination proof, when I nursed (1985-86) so sticking by those should keep the OCD voice inside of us quiet.Can you have counseling for the first few weeks or so?, to ease you back. Maybe bring up procedures which trigger OCD, so the counsellor and you can work with ways to combat the OCD.As you do things make a mental note so you dont forget you have done them, and dont get the urge to repeatedly check?Sorry I am of limited help, but I hope something in the post above is of some help to you.Hi, thanks so much for the advice. It is useful and I have re read it and a lot of it makes sence. Thanks again, I will percervire and will speak to councillor about specific concerns at work.Thanks again, much appreciated. Claire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebang Posted September 22, 2011 Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 Your post successful_workthru and claire 31 have been very informative. I've been diagnosed with OCD mostly the checking type and currently Im also working as a nurse. Its very very hard when you have a checking OCD and working as a nurse as I repeatedly check and check that I have sign the meds I have given. This has cost me one job already as I was really bullied and cant take it anymore so I resigned. I got very depressed and upset with myself. I have another job and I kept telling myself that I better be good this time. Other days its good but most of the days are bad. I went to see a psychologist but she was of no help to me. At the moment the only thing that keeps me going is my little girl, she's my inspiration and everytime it gets bad at work I think of my girl and Im doing ANYTHING I could so she has a bright future ahead. AND another thing my faith and belief from the ONE above has also keep me afloat from all the silliness/negativity I inflict on myself. sorry for the long post...thanks for taking time to read my litany Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.