I Think Someone I Know Has An Eating Disorder....what Should I Do?

[wilsonhenry]

Hi. I think my wife has an eating disorder and I don;t know what to do. About 6 months ago I discovered she was spitting out food and had been hiding it from me. We talked about this, she promised to stop and she did seem to slowly cut it down and then stop. I discovered this evening that she had only been hiding this from me and the problem is worse than it ever was before. She has hidden this in a number of ways. One is that she (we both do) goes to the gym quite a few times a week and we both put a lot of effort into working to improve fitness etc so it is normal that she has a slim build from the effort she puts in. I now realise that it is that but also coupled with spitting out the food she puts in her mouth.

We have tried to discuss this this evening and she clams up and refuses point blank to talk about anything and instead ignores everything I say. I now realise that I/we need to see someone about this but I don't know where to go or what to say as I am very conscious that I might make the problem worse. I suggested we go to the GPs but she refuses and it's not like I can drag her there. I would ask her family for help but she is from Taiwan, they are there and I don't speak enough Mandarin to be able to tackle this problem - the vocab required is far beyond my own. I am at my whits end now and I do not know where to turn.

One of the main problems seems to be that if you look for advice about this on the net, it is full of people saying it is not a disorder, argueing the toss over whether it is or not or actually saying it is a good thing to do for short periods. That is not very helpful at all so I am now making a cry for help if anyone knows what to do! I think I know some of the root causes for this - she is very homesick and although this is a problem, as I see it, the first step on the road to recovery is to admit you have a problem and then to try and deal with it.

[Roses]

Hello, your devotion to your wife is touching. To be loved like that is a blessing.

There is a website www.b-eat.co.uk which is the british eating disorders association website. There is lots of information on there.

I know from personal experience there is a lot of shame and guilt surrounding eating disorders and I don't talk about it at all unless my husband forces the issue.

I wish you all the best and if you want to talk anymore that is fine with me. xxx

[wilsonhenry]

Thanks for your kind words and support Roses. I will be contacting B-eat for further support and advice and hopefully we'll be able to start talking about this and begin to find a solution. I never knew before what it was like to deal with something like this but the past few weeks have been an eye-opener, we just need to stay strong.

[Roses]

Maybe you could let us know how you get on? I hope it goes well for you both. xxx