Katherine Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 (but not QUITE better enough to make it a Good Day !) Yes, in spite of a horrendous 'abandonment depression' after therapy yesterday, I made it out of bed this morning, I made it into work, I made it through a 10 hour work day finishing at 8 this evening. I made it home again. I felt really like wet washing hanging on the line this morning. I told my manager that I was feeling really down today. She was sympathetic and said I could take extra breaks if it started getting all too much. But I didn't need to. I made it through. I EVEN, and this is weird to me, because its so unexpected and unfamiliar....I even, yes I even started to feel some inner security and trust in my therapist's 'holding' of me. Even after that devasting few moments at the end of yesterday's session...this is incredible and must mean I am on the right road. I don't feel like shit today now...weyhey!!!! I am absolutely and totally very tired....so am off to bed soon... AND I even managed to get a day off work on Tuesday (so glad I didn't use up al my leave earlier in the year!), so I have plenty of time to spring clean thoroughly before my flatmates return on Thursday. Thats a relief. (I can also get more sleep too....) How I've been feeling...... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Oh babe - glad you feel better.... and as for that inner child - hold her, dry her tears and tell her how much you love her and how you are gonna care for her forever..... Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 thanks ((((((((Ginny))))))))..... hugs, karie and lora Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 3, 2005 Report Share Posted March 3, 2005 Glad you feel better hun...stay strong and take care of Lorna she needs you. LM XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 4, 2005 Report Share Posted March 4, 2005 hey karilora... well done yey! ooh are u happy ur flatmates are coming back soon? or will u miss having the place to yourself? hee hee xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2005 I feel ambivalent (big word for a Friday night!!!!) about my flat mates coming back. I am looking forward to it in that I won't be on my own there'll be them around. On the other hand I like having lots of space to myself(but not cleaning it!!!!) and using the bathroom and putting the heat on and eating and USING THE PHONELINE!!!!! whenever I want to.... Plus there's all my insecurities and inadequecies and child-ish wants in relationships that'll start appearing again.. k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted March 4, 2005 Report Share Posted March 4, 2005 That is a very NORMAL way to feel hun - you are looking at both sides of what is to come... well done. Good to see you see positive in it too. like lost said - look after lora - she needs you.... love ya kari Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktodee_27 Posted March 4, 2005 Report Share Posted March 4, 2005 So glad that you have been feeling better. I did some work with my little girl inner child too last night. 5 year old Little Katie. It helped a great deal for me too. Good luck tonight with your flat mates- get's kind of scary at times I know, but you can do it. I have faith in you. xxxxKatie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Thanks Ginny.... Thanks Katie (and Hi to little Katie:) ) My flatmates are back on Thursday. Little lora is feeling peaceful this morning. A bit sad too, somehow... love, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Hi Karie, I missed this topic, don't know how, but never mind, please accept my apologies. It was nice to read that you are feeling a bit brighter, perhaps I am picking up some of your positive vibes as I have had my best days of the year so far. For me I think it is the combination of chatting to people here and taking on loads and loads of work - the more I have to do the less time I have to think - and it is good that I have started to regain my focus. It must be something to do with unwinding here. Anyway, it is nice to read about people feeling more cheerful. I don't quite understand the 'inner child' - perhaps I just block mine out, I was asked to hug and love it once, but, I said I couldn't. I hope you are going to keep waking up feeling good and that you enjoy yourself until, and after, your flatmates return on Thursday. Don't feel insecure around them, I will guess that you think they are real people with real lives and yours isn't - that is how it is for me with people, and on that basis, I always feel beneath people, that they are more deserving to a life than me. Well, if this is how you feel, just remember, you are one of my 'online mates' and your life is far more worth while than mine and so there is always someone beneath you, in my world you are just as good, more than likely far better than your flatmates, so think on - you ARE GOOD, WONDERFUL, STRONG, SENSITIVE and you make other people feel good too. Take care, Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 5, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Thanks ((((Jane))))) YOU too are just as worthwhile. we are all as worthwhile as each other, and I, and I'm not the only one I know, forget that often-"everyone else is more of a real person than me" runs the thought pattern....as it comes from my past... Good to hear that you have started to regain your focus. Not everyone takes to the idea of inner child. But its on the same continuum as self acceptance, I believe and feel. Take care, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted March 5, 2005 Report Share Posted March 5, 2005 Hi Karie, I will try and remember your words "we are all as worthwhile as each other". I hope you are feeling bright by the time you read this posting. Do take care, Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 Thanks Jane. Take care. karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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