End Of Compulsive Worrying

[successful_workthru]

I don't know if this post should definitely go in this forum, but when you have OCD and you have a long term niggle which grows and grows, receiving a reassuring letter helps massively.

I've probably covered this before, but I was medically retired in 2004 after being employed in various jobs for two decades. I got sacked from most. The ones I never got sacked from I left after breaking under the pressure. from bullying/harrassment/assaults and misconduct against me (one break had me move from north uk to the south, which is where I am now) I played down my symptoms (not lied) but they soon made themselves shown to my coworkers and managers. I was in denial of a lot of symptoms too.

My last employer told me about incapacity benefit, when they halved my wage, as I was on longterm sick.

I still had a big ego then, but was grateful for the assistance from the state.

Something I had been snobby about before, but was only following the sheeple, and my bad attitude was very flawed. I never realised we all need help sometimes.

Anyway, I got onto incapacity benefit, and found that rather than being bored and lonely in the days at home, I decided to slowly hone my real skills, with a view to earning a living from them, when well enough.

I even had nightmares about being back in work.

I appreciate that building myself up would take time, and I had to make sacrifices materially, now that I had no job. I just took up hobbies at home, whch turned to skills. I do research, and have learnt more in this last five years, than the whole of my schooling years. I got kids art stuff at dirt cheap prices and made art from these. I write. I knit. I crochet. I would sew if I had a sewing machine, but i dont have one.

I just cannot deal with people and money, etc.

As we all know, there was controversy in the news about incacity fraud (I've yet to meet a fraudster, as the only people i know who claim incap, are not even capable of turning up and working let alone doing jobs on the side, and claiming dole)

Being obsessive compulsive, (undiagnosed, but blatantly obvious) and knowing my review was due this year, all of last year, and this, my anxiety shot up. I was having nightmares about colleagues turning nasty, like in the past reality) and so on. I lost over a stone. I was beginning to abuse drugs more heavily, again, after having already calmed down one habit in 2005) All due to my fear of being forced back to work before I am ready, and being subjected to more of the same shit which made stuff loads worse for me in work)

In the midst of this, I kicked two drug habits, diazepam and speed.

I got the form, and with the aid of my care coordinator, completed it, and I even added several sheets of information, which I felt wouldnt fit on the form. It was degrading, as I have always played down my symptoms.

This does not mean I think mental illness is degrading, just listing my symptoms on an official form to a stranger, was harrowing.

I would not have been able to do it without the aid of my care co ordinator. I am a hermit.

I thought these new harsher rules would mean peril for someone like me, and many many others.

I got a letter today, after an agonising two month wait, to tell me I would continue to receive benefits as normal, but I did not get a review date.

I don't think I mind not getting a review date, as this would just be something more for me to obsess about.

The relief is bliss.

Not all of us are fraudsters.

I also wish the best of luck to anyone else in a similar position.

If I had to give anyone advice, it would be, do not be afraid to put all your info down on the IB50 form and attach extra sheets if necessary.

It is not easy, I know, and it can be painful but the more info they have to go on, the better it is.

Its my guess, that they would want to save the cost of calling someone for a medical, if there is enough info on the form.

As for fraud, if you are getting your care co-ordinator, or cpn to fill the form with you, then fraud is not possible. Also the DWP sometimes contact your doctor, who wil contradict any fraudulent info, and render it impossible.(my doc has known me nearly 10yrs)

I am feeling defensive about fraud because of all the accusatory comments in the media (note to self, stop reading this shit)

[Rael]

its sad when the people who are honestly claiming it are the ones being made to feel guilty or stressful about it because of cheats. i am glad that you have been able to put everything down, you have nothing to be ashamed of. i know its horrible having to let things be known to strangers and stuff but you did really well and im glad it worked out and you will continue to get benefits

xxx