heather123 Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 You know, i'd really like to put a face and voice to the words on this site. I'd love to meet people who are aware they've got bpd and associated issues. But then again, we'd need several referee's around what with all the intense emotions. And meeting at a pub would be strictly out, as inhibitions lowered and we started brawling after the second drink! Do people from this site ever meet up or go to support groups? Meme, what are you researching? Rose, are you like the aunt bessie image i have of you in my mind?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 How long have you been having therapy meme, if you don't mind me asking? And what kind of therapy is it?I have had two sessions with a psychotherapist. Its early days yet but I think he is really good, so I am lucky .I totally related to what you said about resenting paying for it as that niggled me when i saw someone for a while - especially because for our ten sessions together i only ever spoke in the first one!That is awful! Whether you are paying for it or not you deserve better from a therapist. If she could not have got you to speak she should have referred you or done something, as you say.It's not an easy business finding a therapist, i know that much.Do you have one now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hello meme Narinda here. I notice you ignore my worry as you will only reply to your friend that is good for ego. Please what care for wife and small chikdren? I read all you written and you have blamed mother as father you are now to blame if you ignore and just big attention yourself.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 You know, i'd really like to put a face and voice to the words on this site. I'd love to meet people who are aware they've got bpd and associated issues. But then again, we'd need several referee's around what with all the intense emotions. And meeting at a pub would be strictly out, as inhibitions lowered and we started brawling after the second drink! Do people from this site ever meet up or go to support groups? Meme, what are you researching?Hera was trying to organise a trip to Blackpool. Not sure if she has got any security organised to keep us apart though .To be honest I think that in person we would be fine actually. There is something about internet forums that provokes trouble, whether they are mental health forums or not. Because you cannot see the person in front of you who is reading it, people are too quick to write things before thinking.I research computer science, making me a true geek . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Helo meme Narinda here. I read your feelings with big interest. I would like to share with you feelings I have made. I think you are looking at yourself too much and I worry for your family. When we take a wife and make family comfortable home we have to sacrifice. Please think of them as I would not want to have read they are lost from you. To hurt friends is not such a great worry when you have small children they will understand it is pressure.Hello meme Narinda here. I notice you ignore my worry as you will only reply to your friend that is good for ego. Please what care for wife and small chikdren? I read all you written and you have blamed mother as father you are now to blame if you ignore and just big attention yourself.Narinda,Thank you for your concern for my wife and children. My marriage is an extremely difficult one and I try my best to be nice to my wife and do the right thing by my children. I never drink before 9pm, so they rarely see me drinking. Today I took my children out to a fair and we watched fire juggling, circus stuff etc.I am hoping that through therapy I can work through my issues and be able to be a better father and husband. If I can't do that then I have to decide whether my marriage is worth saving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Thank you meme from Narinda. You must work to help them as the man husband father. Not to blame but always big protection.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 We all have thoughts and feelings, but it is not always appropriate to share themYou knew this post would get a lot of responsesYou knew it would upset a lot of peopleI feel you are attention seekingBecause of the amount of replies, you got the attention you needed. I think you should try and get this attention using a more positive method Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Helo Ruth24 Narinda here. I sense you do not care for meme and his ego. It is great not to all be good friend I would be friend with you.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Rather than an ego problem, I prefer to think of it as having an emotional problem. And, my problems are not that different from the problems of many other people on here. Ruth24 and I have some issues but I think we are just going to have to agree that we cannot be friends, I am not going to make the situation any worse by arguing with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 The Ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id’s drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief.[8]"The ego is not sharply separated from the id; its lower portion merges into it.... But the repressed merges into the id as well, and is merely a part of it. The repressed is only cut off sharply from the ego by the resistances of repression; it can communicate with the ego through the id." (Sigmund Freud, 1923)The Ego comprises that organized part of the personality structure which includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. The ego separates what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us. [9]According to Freud,“ ...The ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world ... The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions ... in its relation to the id it is like a man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse; with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength, while the ego uses borrowed forces [Freud, The Ego and the Id (1923)] ”In Freud's theory, the ego mediates among the id, the super-ego and the external world. Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives and reality (the Ego devoid of morality at this level) while satisfying the id and super-ego. Its main concern is with the individual's safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal. Ego defense mechanisms are often used by the ego when id behavior conflicts with reality and either society's morals, norms, and taboos or the individual's expectations as a result of the internalization of these morals, norms, and their taboos.The word ego is taken directly from Latin, where it is the nominative of the first person singular personal pronoun and is translated as "I myself" to express emphasis. The Latin term ego is used in English to translate Freud's German term Das Ich, which literally means "the I".Ego development is known as the development of multiple processes, cognitive function, defenses, and interpersonal skills or to early adolescence when ego processes are emerged.[10]In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory. [11]In a diagram of the Structural and Topographical Models of Mind, the ego is depicted to be half in the consciousness, while a quarter is in the preconscious and the other quarter lies in the unconscious.The ego is the mediator between the id and the super-ego, trying to ensure that the needs of both the id and the super-ego are satisfied. It is said to operate on a reality principle, meaning it deals with the id and the super-ego; allowing them to express their desires, drives and morals in realistic and socially appropriate ways. It is said that the ego stands for reason and caution, developing with age. Sigmund Freud had used an analogy which likened the ego to a rider and a horse; the ego being the rider while the id being the horse. The horse provides the energy and the means of obtaining the energy and information needed, while the rider ultimately controls the direction it wants to go. However, due to unfavorable conditions, sometimes the horse makes its own decisions over the rocky terrain.When the ego is personified, it is like a slave to three harsh masters: the id, the super-ego and the external world. It has to do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of causing discontent on two other sides. It is said, however, that the ego seems to be more loyal to the id, preferring to gloss over the finer details of reality to minimize conflicts while pretending to have a regard for reality. But the super-ego is constantly watching every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority. To overcome this the ego employs defense mechanisms.The defense mechanisms are not done so directly or consciously. They lessen the tension by covering up our impulses that are threatening.[12]Denial, displacement, intellectualisation, fantasy, compensation, projection, rationalisation, reaction formation, regression, repression and sublimation were the defense mechanisms Freud identified. However, his daughter Anna Freud clarified and identified the concepts of undoing, suppression, dissociation, idealisation, identification, introjection, inversion, somatisation, splitting and substitution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.2. Psychoanalysis. the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.3. egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego. Hello meme Narinda here using information nets about language word ego. I think it is ego first that is your big worry.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppyLove Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hi.i read this whole thread,i agree it does sound like meme is attention seeking,how dare you criticize people on benefits,You really do have a ego problem with yourself.Mini mod that is a joke right?My opinion you drink then get angry with everyone,well it is not everyone's fault,I am sorry this post has pissed me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Puppylove friend Narinda here. Please be well and understand not all men are wise. To show anger is to hurt you and I want my friend to be happy not worry for other ego.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hi.i read this whole thread,i agree it does sound like meme is attention seeking,how dare you criticize people on benefits,You really do have a ego problem with yourself.Mini mod that is a joke right?My opinion you drink then get angry with everyone,well it is not everyone's fault,I am sorry this post has pissed me off.I did not criticise people on benefits, was honest enough to admit I have some jealousy issues towards people who are not working. There is a major difference. The fact that you can't see that perhaps indicates that you have anger issues yourself. Particularly when you use a derogatory and judgemental phrase to describe me such as 'attention seeking'. I have been called that many times before by people such as doctors. How dare you judge me when all I am trying to do is find a way to resolve my issues.And mini mod is far from being a joke. I volunteer my time to help keep this place safe. And I don't have an ego problem, I have a personality disorder. Thats what people have on this site. A one which I am working very hard to get treatment for.Puppylove friend Narinda here. Please be well and understand not all men are wise.I find this very sexist and I resent assumptions being made about how wise I am based on my gender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hello meme Narinda here. In my culture man is head family and would be asked to make decision. Male would have ego and strength that woman could fight and not be given from nature.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppyLove Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Ok jealousy then,Have you been drinking tonight meme is that why you are getting angry with me.BrokenAngel is not english are you racist against her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hello meme Narinda here I am trying to work harder at my language to make clear language to get friend. In my culture man is not like this ego I think we could still be a friend I am thinking.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 I am not drunk and I am not racist. It does not matter whether I have been drinking or not, calling me an attention seeker is a guarranteed way to offend me. And I felt I deserved a right to reply to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hello meme Narinda here could we be a friendship. I am greatly wanting to know you and my new friend puppylove.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 What has meme said that could be seen as racist? Accusing someone of being racist is a very serious accusation, bare in mind racism is illegal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppyLove Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 sorry meme if i offended you,when i read that you get drunk etc it pissed me off but i have calmed down now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenangel Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hello Narinda here. What is pissed off? I am not knowing if someone is a racist.Narinda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppyLove Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hi Sammy.I am aware of a racist,i am black myself so that is why i jumped in like i did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted June 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 sorry meme if i offended youYour apology is accepted :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted June 13, 2009 Report Share Posted June 13, 2009 I have been meaning to make a post about issues with my therapist for a few days, and DaisyChain has given me some useful to things to think about this, thanks for the reply.Last night someone on here made me angry. That person was my friend but we can no longer be friends. I now realise that I let that anger cloud my judgement and said some things about people on benefits that I probably should not have said. I apologise to anyone who is offended.I notice that you ave mentioned my name in a later thread so people know it is us that argued.I feel that it is inappropiate to mention names.Your judgement may have been clouded due to our argument, but why attack those on benefits. Because you know i am?I know we have cleared the air and agreed to disagree and i appreciated the fact that you gave us both the time to explain ourselves. But when reading the posts, i missed this one. Just out of interest, who funds your PhD? Do you receive any kind of child benefits or tax credits? you don't need to answer those personal questions, but i would like you to think about it before you mention people on benefitsI don't want to fall out with you again meme, we have only just cleared the air, but i feel i have the right to reply.I will not post and be argumentative again. you have a right to your opinion, but so do i. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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