karen a Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi I'm new here. I am far from a newly depressed patient though, it's been a lifelong battle. I'm 46 now. Been on Mirtazapine long term but been feeling like sh*t for ages. Husband finally had enough and told me how ill I am at the weekend. Been to doc this morning who's said I have resistant depression and will come off the Mirtazapine slowly and try venlafaxine, the only one I've never been on I think. Then I'll go and see someone to talk to. Feeling as though maybe he's only ever had half a story as I have never considered the "ups" and highs I have whilst unmedicated to be a problem (I'm an artist and they are very creative times). I miss the highs and feel so low and bland now that I am negative all the time. My biggest worry is that I don't want to destroy the relationship with my husband, we've been friends for 13 years, together for 6 and married for just over 2, and he didn't know how bad my depression was before we were together. How could he,I was always so pleased to see him! I'm going to explore this forum. Hello to all of you. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
les66 Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi and welcome Karen Hope you find the site very useful. We are a very friendly bunch here and will always help/support you best we can. I myself am on venlafaxine and find it OK but meds work differently for individuals. I hope your relationships works out OK. It will take work and effort on both parts but will be well worth it. Take Care Leslie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beishek Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi there and welcome! Good to have you with us. Venlafaxine is considered to be one of the best for depression, although I had to stop using it because of side affects not agreeing with me. Good luck with it. Hope to hear more from you soon. Beishek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen a Posted July 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Thank you both for your replies, I'm a bit scared of trying new meds as I have really just stuck with mirtazapine on and off for the last six years. I think it was very good for severe anxiety and insomnia etc but now it's just flattened me. But if I don't take anything at all everything goes totally haywire. I have to stop being so scared of insomnia because I'll end up causing it with worry. I hate this illness so much at the moment, it feels like a thief, stealing my husband's trust and peace of mind. Stealing my personality too. Hmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen a Posted July 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Also, I stopped drinking 13 and 1/2 years ago now with the help of 6 months of AA meetings. My GP seems worried I'll want to start again, but I'm not concerned about that, am wondering if I should be but I really have no desire to drink at all. I'm not seeing it as part of my current problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
les66 Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 WOWWWWWWWWWWW Karen well done for being off drink for such a long time. If you have no desire to drink then that should be ok and doctors concerns are unfounded. you know yourself better than GP. I was on other meds for my depression and suffered terribly with insomnia so I know what that is like. Not quite as bad now that on venlafaxine. I am also on propanalol for anxiety which I find a great help and zolpidem for sleeping. Also on other meds but not going to bore you and yes I should rattle when I walk LOL but I find them necessary and helpful. Take Care Leslie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen a Posted July 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi Leslie Thank you for that - it's amazing really how the time passes and I can hardly believe it's that long since I drank, but there you go. I'm pleased it is something I don't worry about, and not really sure why not but I'm not arguing. I'm encouraged to hear your insomnia is being dealt with on venlafaxine. How are your moods? has it lifted your emotions up? I am worried about permanently losing the highs. Even though they may not always be "safe" at their extremes, I am feeling like a huge part of my personality is now completely missing. I'd quite like to have it back!! Also not sure what the talking will do for me once I have settled into new meds, I'm not sure if I have dealt with stuff or just buried it where I can't see it. Hmmm again. Thank you and take care, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
les66 Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi Karen Think it is a combination of alot that has helped with my sleep. I am aslo on CBT course as it is not only depression I suffer from, I also have BPD, anxiety and I am still thinking I got Bipolar, but not diagnosed that yet LOL So my moods swing very rapidly and it is something I despise in a big way, slightlest little thing and i can change so quickly. I find talking does help a great deal, but once again we are all individuals. I really do hope you find the best combination for you and get back what you are craving for. Take Care Leslie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 hello and welcome really well done on not drinking for that long and i agree with les, you definitely know best whether its something to worry about and its great that even with this stress you dont have the desire to drink. i know often meds can lose their potency even if they have worked for some years and i hope the new med helps. it can be difficult changing meds when you have become accustomed to one and it can be worrying if you dont know what to expect. you said about talking to someone, i take it you mean therapy? thats good, do you know what kind of therapy, ie cbt, dbt or something else? i hope that helps too anyway. good to have you here, people are friendly and supportive and its nice to talk to people who understand. take care xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 welcome Karen, I like the cat photo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chorse_70 Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi there and welcome to the site Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marc-74 Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Hi I'm new here. I am far from a newly depressed patient though, it's been a lifelong battle. I'm 46 now. Been on Mirtazapine long term but been feeling like sh*t for ages. Husband finally had enough and told me how ill I am at the weekend. Been to doc this morning who's said I have resistant depression and will come off the Mirtazapine slowly and try venlafaxine, the only one I've never been on I think. Then I'll go and see someone to talk to. Feeling as though maybe he's only ever had half a story as I have never considered the "ups" and highs I have whilst unmedicated to be a problem (I'm an artist and they are very creative times). I miss the highs and feel so low and bland now that I am negative all the time. My biggest worry is that I don't want to destroy the relationship with my husband, we've been friends for 13 years, together for 6 and married for just over 2, and he didn't know how bad my depression was before we were together. How could he,I was always so pleased to see him! I'm going to explore this forum. Hello to all of you. Karen hey karen, realy hope you doing a bit better, ...sorry my names marc, i've been here since the new year, it's been a god send,  i've met some wonderful people here, You might be able to gimme the low down on Mirtazapine, as my dr. wants to put me on it after 5 years on citalipram. I to am an artist, and was a bit worried how its gonna work with me being able to paint,  I got of rispiadone , and on olanzypine,  and got me art mojo back.  take care,             marc x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen a Posted July 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Hi all of you Thank you for your warm welcome to the forum. It feels really good to know there is somewhere safe I can say what's on my mind without fear of judgement.... Marc - the mirtazapine has always been really good for me util this time. I first started taking it 6 years ago and it got rid of my insomnia and extreme anxiety. Lifted my mood too so my moods were within what I consider a relatively "normal" range. I did feel that after all the other things I've been put on that this worked the best, and I never felt like I was "on" anything and was enjoying "normality". I have taken it for three extended periods, and it was working fine this time too until November when I slipped and injured my back (compression fractures) which put me out of action for a while and I just don't seem to have been able to perk up mentally. I'm on the highest allowed dose (45mg) and have just been put down to 30mg as a start to coming off it. My personal feeling is that the lower dose may work for me, but as it's a mood elevator it's unlikely that that's the case. My doctor said it's resistant depression and that venlafaxine should work on it. I think the kind of therapy I need will become evident, as will a proper diagnosis, as my sister (nurse) reckons it could well be BPD, and I'm probably not quite extreme enough to be bipolar. As far as creativity goes, up until the last few months mine has been good and fairly steady, having said that I've got an exhibition at the moment, and most of the work is recent, so it must come from somewhere!! Goodness me it's too complicated. I must try and resist the urge to become a hermit in a darkened room for the rest of my life. Cheers, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen a Posted July 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 PS the cat is called Elvis Naughty and is just 5 months old. We have three cats now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 hey im jades welcome to the forum. there are a ton of good people here and it has been a life saver for me. i hope you get your medication issues resolved to your liking soon , i know how feeling flat can suck. take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chorse_70 Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 hello and welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingernut Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Hello Karen, Welcome to the site, Elvis has a twinkle in his eye you can tell that. Ginger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Welcome to the forum! Good luck with the new meds, I hope they help you. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmberRose Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 hello and welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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