Paula Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 i have to go back to the hospital in a minute. i dont want to, but i know what will happen if i dont. and im so scared. because i just feel so abandoned and lonely. this is nobody's fault but my own. all i wanted was for someone to rescue me. thats what the nurses keeps saying. "stop looking for the man that will rescue you" he ain't coming. he ain't never coming. stop dreaming, stop hoping, stop wishing. you're on your own, girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinklady66 Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 The nurses are right when they say be your own girl. I was always taught that only you can make yourself happy. You are in the right place to get help..take advantage of it and get what you can from being there. Rest and relax, that's what the place is there for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 Pinks, You are in a safe place and that is good. I wouldn't worry about a relationship now. When you know yourself better you are such a cutie you will have to carry a baseball bat to beat all the guys off! I'm thinking of you. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janey Posted March 10, 2005 Report Share Posted March 10, 2005 (((((((((((((Pinky))))))))))))) It's not your fault at all... so please don't blame yourself. The right person will come along at the right time in your life, and when you are ready (and probably when you're not looking, coz that's how it seems to work out). Glad you are in a safe place... Thinking of you. Janey xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 ((((((Pinky))))))) Did you make it back safely? hugs, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 oh god. i cant even write. crying. too much. just found a message in my diary on another site. was from leon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 ((((((((Pinky))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 i'm ok except i lost everyone that tried to help. people do good things for me and i'm just a bitch in return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 how do you mean you lost everyone who tried to help? D'you mean Leon....I understand your sadness and pain... (((((((Pinky))))))) just letting you know that we're all still here with you... hugs, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 i lost everyone, karie. they know who they are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Posted March 11, 2005 Report Share Posted March 11, 2005 Pinky, My sweetheart you havn't lost me, you can do this hun, we will be with you we are with you and we love you so so much. Hun you will find you guy to recuse you trust me you will, I found loads of guys I thought that would but they walked away, now I have my guy and he has resuced me. it will happen!!!!! But they are also right in sayoing be you hun , find out who you are. love and hugs froggie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 Hi Pinks, Hows it going this morning? Sunny Saturday hugs, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 i'm ok. v. tired but ok. was nice to sleep in my own bed. dont really know how i feel this morning. it's difficult to suddenly go from being totally safe and supported to being at home. makes me feel vulnerable :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 Hi Pinky, I am not too clever today either, so, I decided to come and chat to nice people like yourself on here, well, it was either that or go and start painting my door frames in my house, but then I would be alone and that would just upset me more. Tell me what things would you like to do today? you could make a new friend and talk to me for a while, mind you I am quite a boring misfit so perhaps that would only make you worse. Perhaps you could tell me what your favourite food is? why - don't know but just a thought. Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 thanks, jane. i'm gonna take a break. feel exhausted. the medication is knocking me out! lol (prolly a good thing!) might be back in an hour..a week.. a month..who knows???? need a break for now, and u all need a break from me. take care lovely people love u Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 We don't need a break from you Pinky, everyone looks forwards to talking to you. You take care and sleep well, and I hope to hear from you later of tomorrow. Relax and do something 'nice' for yourself. Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 an outside force is trying to contact me. my mum phoned the hospital. they said come back. i'm almost hallucinating. not sure whether to go back to hospital or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 Do you think its the meds? Or do you usually experience psychosis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted March 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 have been psychotic years ago, but not like this. he is trying to contact me, trying to change my thoughts. he is a black cloud force that wants my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 Very much sounds like the meds...I am not a psychdoc or psychologist but if its just appearing out of no where it must have something to do with the meds. Have you read anywhere about the side effects? Maybe go online and look for the side effects. Try to stay calm and know that it must have something to do with the meds. I would def. call your psychiatrist. LM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 (((((((Pinky))))))) I think it is a very good idea to talk to someone close by you about this, it could be meds, it could be the disorientation and vulnerability of being back at home after the hospital. It could be both. Take care. love, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandaprincess Posted March 13, 2005 Report Share Posted March 13, 2005 I used to get a hallucination of myself, at around age sixteen. Everywhere I went, I'd see this pale, thin tired version of myself from years ago. It scared me stupid... I couldn't work out what it meant... But looking back, I think it may have been like a ghost of a part of me that died, years ago. I think the only way to get over it, is to go through it. Confronting my demons was probably the best thing I ever did. Be strong, and true to yourself. Dont let anybody drain you, or pull you back ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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