Fatphobic.

[gothicangel]

POSSIBLE TRIGGER FOR OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE TOO

TRIGGER

TRIGGER

TRIGGER

I despise fat. A certain amount on boobs or bum is fine, but other than that I think it is disgusting, especially dimpled fat. I know I am not fat, but I have big upper arms that make me look obese in pictures and I hate them. I want to slice all the fat off me. When I put on the tiniest amount of weight I spiral into depression and I am very afraid of putting on weight. I hate it when fat people complain about being fat but still eat shit and don't exercise, it infuriates me. When I see naked fat it makes me feel kind of sick. I know all this sounds incredibly harsh but I can't change the way I feel about fat, it's ingrained into me now. When I was young my mum taught me from a very early age that fat is unattrative and fat people are undesirable. She has been on a diet my whole life too. Does anyone else share these feelings?

[Sammy]

Ermm and you only think this is triggering to anorexics?

[Sammy]

What I find funny (but not really) Is if someone came on here announcing they were homophobic or racist and said they hate all gay people or all black people, saw them as inferior and ugly, it would not be allowed. But it's ok to insult and offend and incite hatred towards overweight people.

[Ruth24]

I am anorexic and to a certain extent i feel the same. I hate fat on myself. I have been told i have no stomach, but when i look down all i can see is a pregnant sized belly.

The thing is i know i am unattractive because i am so skinny. However, all my boyfriends have been skinny, i seem to find it attractive in others.

Except for women. Skinny women I find ugly. women are supposed to be curvy. I have no figure at all, just straight up and down. I want to be curvy, but don't know if i could deal with it. Had ED since i was 12 so always been underweight. I see curvy women and get jealous, i want to look like them and be comfortable with my weight. I can't see it ever happening though.

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[gothicangel]

Oh for god's sake Sammy get down off your high horse. I've seen you be judgemental to other people on here who are writing about a problem they have and I'm sick of it. I've admitted they way I think is a problem, and I don't treat people differently because of it, and I would never dream of saying any of this to a fat person in real life. I'm merely sharing my dysnfunctional way of thinking with people in hope that I can find someone to relate to. If that's not OK with you then I don't really care.

[Roses]

I think it is dysfunctional and very triggering. You need to put up a trigger warning on these sort of posts. Personally I am not going to comment as I think this is headed for meltdown.

[gothicangel]

I know it is dysfunctional, I have said that several times. I don't know how to put those little trigger signs and I can't edit what the topic is about so I just edited the post slightly.

[gothicangel]

I am anorexic and to a certain extent i feel the same. I hate fat on myself. I have been told i have no stomach, but when i look down all i can see is a pregnant sized belly.

The thing is i know i am unattractive because i am so skinny. However, all my boyfriends have been skinny, i seem to find it attractive in others.

Except for women. Skinny women I find ugly. women are supposed to be curvy. I have no figure at all, just straight up and down. I want to be curvy, but don't know if i could deal with it. Had ED since i was 12 so always been underweight. I see curvy women and get jealous, i want to look like them and be comfortable with my weight. I can't see it ever happening though.

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I get the pregnant belly thing too! It's very odd especially as other people say they can't see it :-/ But yeah, I agree that too skinny is not attractive. I love boobs and wish mine were bigger.

[Sammy]

No, I've not been judgmental to people who've posted about a problem they've had, I've defended them against others attacks. You however have just insulted many people on this forum, it's no different to saying it to them in real life - you didn't issue a warning to overweight people that this might be triggering, and if I were to post saying the same things you said about black people in general or gay people, as I said it would be taken seriously and removed.

You've used words like hate and despise, make me sick, ugly, lazy and inferior - you think that's not going to hurt a lot of people on this forum? You make no apologies and even after it being pointed out how offensive it is you still make no apology.

How would you like someone to talk about you that way? Yes I am overweight, and I am in no way inferior to you, I am not lazy, I don't appreciate being called ugly or knowing you hate and despise me even though you don't even know me. I have every right to respond the way I have, just as anyone on here that fits into the category of being overweight does.

I'm fed up of people thinking it's ok to talk about and to overweight people this way, do we not bleed the same blood, do we not have human emotions just like you?

Oh I apologise, I do remember one thread where I judged someone as being wrong (not judged them as a bad person but as them being wrong) which was where they openly admitted a severe physical attack on another person and showed no remorse, believed they were right and indicated they would/will do it again in the future.

[gothicangel]

OK I've obviously touched a nerve here and I am sorry I offended you. It was not my intention to offend and I actually have problems in real life with saying things that I don't realise will offend people. I will modify the language now.

[Jaimie_CS]

I dont think its fair to be so harsh on angel sammy - there are lots of us that are completely messed up about our bodies and eating etc. If this were an abuse forum and someone started a topic about fearing blacks or gays because someone of that description had formed a large part of their abuse, it wouldnt be racism or homophobia - its a negative association with a group of people. maybe that doesnt seem different the way ive explained it, but i see one as a conscious prejudice, and the other as an unconscious associated fear.

in this case, its fat and fat people, and angel also said she'd rather not think that way. Of course its triggery and its also not very nice, but so are lots of the things people say on these forums - which is why we say them here, in a supportive environment, so we can work through the shit in our heads and try to think differently.

angel, it sucks that you feel this way, im sure, with time you'll be able to change it. my personal thing is parents with fat children (young children) but thats a whole different story.

[Sammy]

thankyou

Gem yes if someone said they fear black people because they were abused by a black person that would be VERY much different.

Also if someone says they have issues with BEING overweight, fear of becoming overweight, having fat on their body etc...that is very different.

To actually state you hate fat people etc.. is not the same thing.

If someone said however I can't help how I feel but I think all black people are good for nothing criminals who are inferior to me, ugly, lazy and they make me sick noone would allow it!

[Jaimie_CS]

I'd also like to add, that this is not the only instance of this sort of thing on these forums - like sammy just said, some people have admitted to physically abusing others, and while people say disapproving things i still find the general feedback to be much gentler than whats just been thrown at angel.

I personally, stay away from the physical abuse stuff because i absolutely cannot condone it, i feel incredibly strongly about it but i dont say anything as i dont think negative feedback as harsh as that is helpful at all.

[gothicangel]

For the record, I did not say I hate and despise fat people. I despise fat ITSELF, NOT overweight people. I have a few people in my life who are overweight and I love them. What I SAID was I hate it when overweight people complain about being fat, but do nothing about it. THAT is being lazy. Being overweight is very unhealthy, and my dislike of fat is the same as people complaining that they don't like it when people smoke cigarettes, for example.

[Sammy]

much gentler? I've not attacked her or called her names, I pointed out how offensive the post was and said why.

[Roses]

So how do you feel about fat people who have tried and tried but cannot reduce their weight due to hormonal inbalances or medication or diabetes or whatever??? Just a question, I'm not having a pop.

[Sammy]

I can say something is offensive without making a judgement on the person! I have no opinion about Gothic Angel as a person, I don't know her, my judgement is based solely on the post, nothing more, nothing less.

[Jaimie_CS]

thankyou

Gem yes if someone said they fear black people because they were abused by a black person that would be VERY much different.

Also if someone says they have issues with BEING overweight, fear of becoming overweight, having fat on their body etc...that is very different.

To actually state you hate fat people etc.. is not the same thing.

If someone said however I can't help how I feel but I think all black people are good for nothing criminals who are inferior to me, ugly, lazy and they make me sick noone would allow it!

but if they had a reason, like a history of abuse, the responses would be altered.

we obviously interpreted the original post differently, for me, angel's comments on fat people are inextricably linked to her fears of fat on her own body.

I also often feel sick when looking at overweight people because of similar issues, but this is related to my insecurities and f*d up relationships with food.

maybe my reaction is tempered because i know several people who have NO food issues whatsoever who think exactly the same way angel does about fat people and much much worse. I cannot bear to hear them speak on the matter because they have so little empathy it makes me feel ill, but again, this is related to my own insecurities (not that there arent enough reasons to thinks it awful without insecurities.)

all of these things are conflicting, but i guess that just illustrates the sort of affect these issues have on your relationships with food, fat and mental health.

[gothicangel]

Roses, that's fine, I welcome your question

In those cases I would say it is an entirely different matter. If it's a medical thing then you cannot help it. My mum restricts her diet to ridiculous proportions, has been on all types of diet pills, and exercises 3 times a week but she is still overweight, and I would never think any less of her for it because I know she works so very hard.

[Jaimie_CS]

I'm sorry sammy, i didnt mean to react quite so strongly towards your comment, i guess i was being a bit over-sensitive since i share some of the feelings and generally feel uncomfortable about the subject. (which is why i want to be involved in the discussion.)

[gothicangel]

thanks for sticking up for me gem, I love you *hugs*

[Sammy]

I'd also like to participate in this conversation further in the hope of changing some negative opinions about overweight people, but due to how this has just affected me I'm going to have to step out of it till I'm in a better place. I accept the apologies from both people though, and as I said my replies were intended to point out the offensiveness of the post, it's triggering nature to those of us that are overweight, not as a personal judgement on the OP.

[placebo69a]

*puts on shitstorm protection gear*

I think the sentiments shared in the original post, offensive as they may be, are shared by many sufferers of eating disorders. They are valid feelings for someone who suffers from an eating disorder and they can create very severe limitations in the lives of those who harbour them. I hope you are aware of the fact that these feelings are based on twisted perceptions: If all overweight people could lose their excess weight, which causes them nothing but trouble rest assured, there wouldn't be any overweight people around, now would there?

I also agree that insulting overweight people because you don't like fat is very unsociable. We should all find ways to share our feelings in a way that doesn't offend others. I also think that it's important to keep in mind when reading other people's feelings on here, that they're only people's feelings and in no way reflect reality. It's a well proven fact that our average weight is determined in childhood and no amount of dieting or exercise can permanently change it - We'll always revert back to this average weight even with a well-balanced diet and regular exercise. Feeling that overweight people could lose their excess weight any time they want to is just a feeling - The facts say otherwise!

Feeling insulted by offensive remarks is in every way as legitimate as feeling that fat is something despicable. I think both parties here are well within their rights and I'm glad both are willing to share their emotions. I wish it didn't involve an altercation, but if wishes were fishes we'd all cast nets. Maybe if we all focused our posts on how we feel and not on how the other person is in the wrong, we'll find there's valuable lessons here to learn for anyone reading this thread.

[bibiddi]

Heres my take on what you have said.

I want to slice all the fat off me

That is unhealthy thinking.

When I put on the tiniest amount of weight I spiral into depression and I am very afraid of putting on weight.

Very unhealthy thinking, and may lead,if it hasnt to you living an unhealthy lifestyle in regards to food, and exercise.

You say you cant change the way you feel about fat. But thats not true. You can change the way you think, especially as at the moment it does seem to be a problem.

Are there any other food issues? Do you have a therapist? It may be worth speaking to your him about your thoughts.

[Jaimie_CS]

actually, despite the fact that sammy ended up triggered, i thought we sought of avoided an altercation.

you make excellent, balanced points placebo.