lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 has anyone ever visited THE NOOK - a support site for non-bpds living or related to a BPD? i just went there after not being there for ages. when i happened upon it i was appalled at how people talk about 'us' - they are so mean. it makes me wanna cry is that how people who dont have bpd see us? is that how mike sees me? and my dad? and my bro? and my friends? god i really hope not. i have this thing - i am an act in, not act out, kind of bpd, and i dont scream at people or start fights or even have fights. i dont persecute people. i dont hate them openly or treat them with contempt. i am a nice person. but on that site they talk about people with BPD like they are vindictive swine and totally crazy thay think we should be locked away for self harming! i shouldnt have gone there. im really sad now. i dont want to be bpd. i never did. i never wanted to be 'ill' and at the mercy of other people's judgements and persecution. someone even said that non-bpds go through much more pain than we do. ???? they dont have to be with us. we cant leave ourselves. arg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Oh...hun...I am the same way you are! Can you pm me the website I would like to see it so I can respond. I am curious of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 (((((Lost)))))) Non bpds will never understand how much we hurt. I hope u feel better soon. We luv ya xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janey Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 I would be interested to see it too... don't worry about them... i'm sure they are not all like that anyway, just as some BPs are not nice people, so are some non BPs. That's just the way some people are, unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 em i wouldnt recommend you go there it would just get your back up. but if you still want to go do a search for bpdcentral as the web site is actually there, it's a different part of the site... you will have to look for it. good luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Got bored of it! Aerrrghhhh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 "If the stupid BP's can live in Never Never Land and never have to grow up why can't we?" thats one thing they said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 was that in yahoo forum the nook cause i may have been reading the wrong site/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 "and once you catch them lying, they WILL lie even further ABOUT YOU with smear campaigns. This is used to make themselves look like victims and takes the attention off of their own LIES. And yes, I heard the term "brutally honest" too " huh?! and... "the'll never tell you the truth. Their habitual liars. I caught my "buddy" in an outright lie whereupon...right out of the blue I had asked her after she gave me "pleasure"...if I was the only current guy she was "with". I guess...deep down inside..I had good instincts...and I knew something was up. That's the only way to explain why I felt motivated to ask. She told me "no"...that there was another who she had known on/off for many years (10 yrs) I recall her saying. Later on..I find out that I have been completely "next" for a guy whom she has known for a time (yep...you called it----10 years!!!).. Thus the guy that finally replaced me was the same guy she was doing when she confessed during the early stages of OUR thing together. I even have her e-mail with her apologizing to me about the "other friend".. EVEN WHEN I BROUGHT THIS E-MAIL UP TO HER ATTENTION LATER>>>> she denied that she had been seeing this same guy all along!!! I proceeded to rephrase my question "How many "guy friends" have you known going on 10 odds years... that you have been having sex with before and/or after me??? The "rephrase" to the question should have bought me a better answer... but she's an idiot...and it didn't. P/S BPD?? They simply don't care...they have no integrity. The'll twist this and that around to fit the moment and fit into their "convenient" schemes. Remember...if it's outlandings, outrageous, and completely skewed in it's logic...you can bet they 1/2 believe it. It's a cornerstone to their twisted thinking" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 its bpdcentral and then when you are there, there is a bit called support sites and you click on that and it takes you to the nook... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janey Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 found it... it's really scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 "But some of my adivce still stands. Sometimes the best way to deal with stuff like this is a complete change of scenery, ya know, NORMAL people and activities, with-out mental ilness issues. Stuff everyday average peolpe do when they haven't lived with some emotionally manipulative alien freak for the last , what 8-10 years?" ok... laughing now! alien freak? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 lost, i really hope that you dont mind me responding to this post as i am not bpd. i just want to say that i find it incredible that there is a site that focus's on hurting other people, no matter what the reason. i met you in December lost and i thought you were an amazing person, full of compassion, sensitivity and very funny. please dont take the rubbish you have read to heart, leave it where it belongs, in the rubbish heap you found it. take care janex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janey Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 actually, i would really not recommend anyone reading it, coz it makes us look so ugly and terrible. It could easily twist things and enable a non BP to just leave and give them loads of excuses to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debs Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 hi just to say i went on a nonbp site when i was first diagnosed could not belive how vindictive they were its hard enough having bpd with out having to read crap like that im sure nons have have no idea i know my partner dosent he always puts it down to me BEING a attetention seeker <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 I'm going to seed this one - cuz I've had an awful weekend - and then I'm going to sit back and watch the fun some of us Sicko Non's will have with it. here's the first - a soft lob HOWS THIS ONE! You just went ahead and did XXXXX and totally usurped me like I can't do anything you're just a (fill in the blank here) followed immediately by Why haven't you finished XXXXX yet you're just a (fill in the blank here) Here's a sweetheart - now we're playing hardball BPD style I was just joking about the gun . . followed immediately by What do you mean you feared for your life - I was going to kill myself - you only care about you HOLY SHIT READ THIS RESPONSE!!!!!!!!! Daddy, I'm not a sicko ‘non‘.....I was, and still am, just a regular ole mother-in-law, who has lost her beloved son (and grandchildren) because my son married one of these bpd whack jobs, and I take this bpd shit very, very seriously, and so should you. We’re dealing with peoples lives and futures here…..not just our own…. mind you, but especially the lives of innocent children of these relationships…..children who have no say themselves, and have only us ‘ADULTS’ to depend on to make the best decisions regarding their futures. I must say…..none of this has been, or is….. ‘fun’ to me. I also know it hasn’t been fun for you either. BPD fleas! I have noticed that I have started to exhibit some of my wife's BPD behaviors. I have read that these are called BPD fleas. The stuff comes flying out of me and I say to myself, I am becoming her. I am afraid that I am permanantly ruined for any future relationship I may have. Any thoughts from those who are living in OZ. Being out of a Borderline relationship now I have a great feeling a peace, calm and control over my life AND NO FLEAS. THIS IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckiboo Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hi- I've been going on the Nook for a while now, I found it interesting to read about behaviours which I never thought about but apparently hurt people. I started posting to try and help some of them understand WHY ppl with BP behave the way they do, and that it is an illness that we cant help. Alot of the ppl on the nook are very angry at the BP in their life that has hurt them, and sometimes it can seem that they are attacking all ppl with BPD, but I understand they are just hurt and angry. I tried to give my opinion on some of their issues and at first came upon some resistance form certain ppl- QUOTE - listen sweetheart. dont take this the wrong way - i just want to be honest. i personally find reading some of your posts very, very distressing. i have read more than enough around this site regarding bp behaviour - especially on cheating, lining up a new man. to actually hear it from the horses mouth is frankly very, very unsettling. i dont know how others feel about it, but if i want 100% confirmation of how a bp "operates" i will go over to the site specifically for bps - i have been there before and i dont want to go back there again. QUOTE But after I spoke some more to this person and answered some questions he thanked me for my help and even said he had sympathy for ppl with BPD after I said about my inability to properly love someone because I just dont trust ppl enough QUOTE - beckiboo thats sad. i sometimes find it hard to be sympathetic towards this illness but i do after reading that. to REALLY think that that my ex ran away because she maybe thought i would abandon her breaks my heart. i mean why bother even having a relationship at all if you cant go the whole hog and fully enjoy it for fear of losing it? QUOTE Some of the stuff on their is hurtful- and i got slightly triggered when one of the mods sent me quite a nasty PM saying that I shouldnt post anymore as I was doing more harm than good. But......I've got a PM box full of messages from nons thanking me for helping them understand BPs behaviour a bit better. It's best to take it all with a pinch of salt- and remember that sometimes they tar all ppl with BPD with the same brush- when in reality we are all different, all act and think different. You shouldnt take anything they say as an attack on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- now this one I find humorous because you have these NBPD non-professionals trying to dx a disorder they don't know anything about! YEAH YOU GUYS HAVE THE ABILITY TO DX PEOPLE WITH THE DISORDER. I GUESS YOU ARE ACTUALLY SMARTER THAN SOME PROFS. WHO HAVE A HARD TIME DXING PEOPLE WITH BPD! ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey there Nons, We aren't professionals, so we aren't officially able to diagnose them. But we see them in action in ways no professional ever will. We've all read the criteria and we're thinking, "Oh yeah, that's my baby!" So how does the BPD in your life, U or otherwise, score on the big nine? As far as I can tell, mine gets 8 out of nine, all except the suicide or cutting. YEAH ONLY PEOPLE WITH BPD ARE ALCOHOLICS RIGHT? X is an alcoholic. When we first became a number, I told her i couldn't be with an actively drinking alcoholic. She stopped drinking alcohol for 4 years, but started again two years ago. She drank every night without fail, but didn't usually drink hard liquor because, she admitted, it made her behavior very bad. But her new BF is a severe AL, complete with suspended license. She dran much harder since he became her white object and I became her black object. (Don't know if that is the term, but I am sure in her crosshairs.). She was putting away a lot of vodka when i last was in a position to observe (mid January). And she has Hepatitus C, although she has led a charmed life with it, having had it well over ten years and always having good LFT results. So she scores the extra half point for suicidal-type drinking? Do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckiboo Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Just been through my inbox and found these quotes from messages ppl from the nook have sent to me- 'You have a unique perspective here at the Nook' 'I feel youre a wonderful asset to this board and it really helps the nons understand the thought process of BPD alot better' 'Wow- extremely helpful! Thankyou so much! I am really starting to understand now and I firmly believe that me understanding is the first step to helping my wife' 'Thanks so much for your help- you have been a god send' 'I would like to pick your brain about...' I havent come across anyone who has been mean or nasty to me (apart from the mod), I think if anyone had a problem with me they just ignored my posts - which I found surprising- I was expecting to be attacked!! I think there are three kinds of ppl on the Nook. 1- the kind that is so angry at the BP in their life that they just want to vent and rage about it. 2- the kind that wants to understand what happened in their relationship 3- the kind that is in a BP relationship and wants to vent about some stuff but also understand about BPD so they can try and make it work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 I have made this post visable again. Remember that you are all wonderful people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 thats really insightful beckiboo and good for you for going there and representing us in a positive way - thats great yeah im sure a lot of it is just fuelled by sadness and rage at a relationships that didnt work out well amicable break ups are hard to find, be they between bpds and nons ir just nons thanks becki - xx hugs xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 also tory thanks for monitoring the post gal! xx hugs xx oh yeah and lady! fleas tee hee. thats funny isnt it! and jane - thank you for your kind words. i thought you were great too! and very pretty you lucky thing xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 Your welcome *hugs back* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted March 15, 2005 Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 lol I reacted exactly the same way a few years back! ha ha I went to bpd recovery and vented all over the place about it. Some time later I held a conversation a few times with Gary and got somewhere with my bpd issues and realised that these people have been extremely hurt by a bod at some point tpo even need the nook. Everyone is entitled to somewhere to vent etc. I do know that they try to guide them over time towards not blaming every bpd but to consider each individual. But yes its very triggery for most bpds. Hope your ok hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted March 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2005 thanks extincty poo yeah i had a bad knee jerk reaction to it - i was feeling fragile and felt it was an attack but now im seeing it more from their poitn of view and feeling empathy rather than hate im getting good at this lol! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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