Psychopaths, Paedophiles Rapist Etc

[Ruth24]

I noticed there was a lot of hostility when a psychopath was brave enough to come on here and announce he was a psychopath. I feel he belongs here just like the rest of us. He has been diagnosed with a mental health condition and this is a mental health site, not just BPDers.

I was wondering what would happen if somebo0dy came on and said they had committed rape or child abuse and had also been given a mental health diagnosis. It is a well known fact that some victims of sexual abuse can become abusers themselves. Does that mean they don't deserve help like the rest of us?

We can't pick and choose what mental health dx come here. We can't bann people because of what they have done in the past, or what they are capable of doing.

Myers could have come online and not told us his diagnosis. He wouldn't have been asked to leave by members, he would have been welcomed as another person with mental health issues.

What if somebody on this site, that we know (and i am not suggesting there is) came out and told us they were a paedophile but had been too afraid in the past to mention it because of the hate he'she would have received? It is very possible that this has happened or may happen.

I'm not trying to start a fight and i don't want to get abusive replies. I think it is something we all need to think about though.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Data]

What a brave topic to start, Ruth ! . I have thought about similar things (to the questions you mention) myself before.

My opinion is that Joshua's wishes ought to be respected. People should we welcome here whatever their diagnosis and past misdeeds.

I ask from you the same as any other person here. Your adhere to the rules. Thats it, otherwise I really hope you are able to express yourself freely without the stress of a mask.

If people are not allowed to admit to their failings, no matter how bad they are, then they will be driven underground and change from becoming potentially dangerous to actually dangerous. Its better that these people are able to talk about their problems so that they can be addressed.

Having said that, I am aware that this is an idealistic view and that many of the people in the categories you mention have done things that most people (including me) would regard as horrible. And, I am able to maintain some emotional detachment, but I have never been sexually abused and I am aware that some people struggle to control their feelings about these things.

Also, at the risk of being patronising, I would like to make a few distinctions:

• A psychopath is a person with a mental disorder. They are not necessarily a criminal.
• A paedophile is someone who finds children sexually attractive. This is not the same as a child sex offender.
• A rapist is a sex offender. They may or may not have a mental disorder.

[quiteemma]

just to say i have read but im not gonna replie to this.

but im am thinking bout wat u wrote! x

very brave indeed

[drew]

it doesnt bother me if some one is a pyscopath that is an illness that they have and have no control over

however to be honest i dont know how i would feel if some one told me there where a rapist or had raped some one in the past

i do know i would avoid them if they told me they abused children , i also avoid those that abuse animals

i know that there is illness,s that cause people to have lack of control

and i would bare this in mind i would hope in a professional sense

but truly i guess it depends on my frame of mind and the situtaion it is stated to me

[DaisyChain]

Lets welcome all the convicted paedophiles and rapists and murderers, Im sure we shall all get along swimmingly.

Indeed lets get together for satanic rituals every other Sunday! We can offer up the most vulnerable on a platter.

Great!

[placebo69a]

The only hostility I saw was the hostility directed at me for asking this "brave" soul to leave when he asked me to be honest about my feelings regarding his diagnosis. I had every right to do what I did and yet I was attacked for it, and I'm still being attacked for it. This whole thread is a response to what was basically me sharing my feelings when asked to. I'm the only one who asked him to leave. Others only pointed out that they will keep the guard up.

I can tell you right off the bat that if a child molester, a rapist or another psychopath joined our community, and asked me for my brutally honest opinion of them based solely on the fact that they have committed raped or molested a child, without so much as sharing a single experience of theirs, I would in all likelihood give them what they asked for: My brutally honest opinion about child molesters or rapists. I'd probably ask them to leave as well.

I think too much of a big deal has been made out of a simple request. I didn't kick Myers out, I didn't arrange for him to be banned, and I don't have any plans on making him leave. I asked him to. That's well within my rights and nobody's business but mine and Myers. I wasn't even asking him to leave for real, in the sense that I didn't expect him to leave just because I wrote the words "please leave". I fully expected him to stay despite my having written those two words, and he did.

This whole thing has been blown out of proportion and keeps cropping up again for reasons that are beyond me. I think all this self-righteousness and "selfless" battle for the rights of those who were never repressed to begin with comes from a very dangerous place. I think it's driven by the need to impress and to out-do others. I think everyone on here should be focused on their own experiences, feelings and thoughts and share those. I don't think it was brave of you to start this thread. I think it was wrong of you to perpetuate what is essentially a lie.

If you check yourself you'll find that the only real hostility in Myers's thread was the one directed at people who expressed fear and distrust. This hostility was uncalled for and inappropriate. So is this thread, that's based on a faulty premise (This "observed" hostility), uncalled for and inappropriate. It's everybody's right to share how they feel and think on here.

Incidentally, if a lot of psychopaths, pedophiles and rapists came and joined this community, I'd probably leave it. I think it's fairly easy to judge a person's character by the company they keep. So I hope we're not going to be receiving a flood of either or all of those types of new members.

[drew]

what happens if the rapist was 11 at the time and is now 45 say is that the same as some one who raped some one last night

what about aronsists or murders

what about thiefs

[Data]

I have an acquaintance who was a registered sex offender. He went to a pub disco when he was drunk, and groped the landlady's breasts. Its a bad thing to do and he was quite rightly punished. However he is not a bad person, he is just lonely and impulsive and socially unskilled and has mental health problems. I'd hope my acquaintance would be welcome here if he registered.

[walker]

no

wont get involved

[Villan]

My opinion, and it is only MY opinion is that we are being WAY to general in this...

Everyone is different and should be treated as the individual they ARE - not by the label they HAVE as their dx or their history...

Someone joins and we see what happens with THAT INDIVIDUAL - within the rules of the site of course...

Let's not forget that this IS the internet and anyone can be anyone they wanna be here - so our defenses SHOULD be already up with ALL new people - that is just basic common sense... Of course there are a lot of vulnerable people here, but I trust in the mods and the admin staff to continue running this place as the safest it can be...

That's my twopenneth - whatever it's worth...

(PS the caps is emphasis NOT shouting before u have a go!)

[drew]

yes we are all individual good point

[ms_fett]

The psychopath I'm just going to keep an eye on. I don't really care otherwise. I find the conversations regarding him amusing.

If a pedophile or rapist were to announce their existence on this site I would leave. Plain and simple. I have a hard time feeling comfortable about sharing my feeling towards men as it is but due to the anonymity of the internet I can get past that here. Because of my history and what I've been through if I knew that a pedophile or a rapist were on this site openly I would no longer feel safe using this place as an outlet for my feelings. I wouldn't make a fuss I would just disappear.

[Barebones]

I guess i do see chitma and drew point.

The thing is alot of people in prison does have BPD and other mental illnesses, myself i can't get away from that, however yes our label is not soul us and we have descussed about using our labels as excuses. I feel, that if you choose to go down the road you go down, you have choosed that road and you take what happens regardless.

is this not like the chicken and egg problem? what came first, was it the person who raped first and then was found to have a mental illness, or did he have a mental illness first before he did what he did?

The thing is, the list you gave ruth is that only one of them is a mental illness, the other two is chicken and egg theory.

I find the other two more scary than a psychopath.

darn again i am really not able to put down what i really want grrr.

In the end, aslong as peeps stick by rules, and not lead someone down a false path, i am fine with it, not happy, but managable, would hope that they would be open to argument on what they did.

darn, i will stop there. i wasnt going to even post on this, as i am aware of monsters on the internet.

keep safe peeps

xx

[Ruth24]

placebo, this thread was not started to have a go at you. I was talking about the general hostile attitude he received, and yes, i was very wary of him too. But it was also good that some saw myers for who he is and not what he is.

I'm still in two minds myself about this one. I know i wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a convicted paedophile in chat. However, paraphilia (I think it is called) is a recognised mental health condition so in theory these people are entitled to join the forum.

We assume that nobody in here is not a paedophile or rapist? You only know if they choose to tell. This is a very large growing forum and i wouldn't be surprised if there was at least one peadophile or rapist as a member.

Thats why it is important to keep our guard up at all times. I would not give out my e-mail address of phone number to a man for example (well i did once, but thinking back that was very foolish and potentially dangerous). I got lucky that time, but wouldn't do it again.

Daisy, I'm not saying we should advertise for dangerous predators! But the fact remains, if they have a mental health problem we wouldn't be able to start a witch hunt and try to get them kicked out.

Meme, if your friend has mental health problems of course he is entitled to join, however, i cannot be sure he would get a warm welcome.

Ms Fett, I hear what you are saying and i am wondering if i would do the same? would i still feel safe coming here?

I really am not trying to start a fight here, and if it turns into one, i shall leave the topic. I have tried to start a thought provoking topic because i wonder what we would do should such a situation arise.

There are so mant factors, as you said drew, what if the rapist was 11 at the time?

As you know i have been raped so I've not started this topic to be a triggering troll. I don't have all the aswers, I don't know how i would react. I know how i would like to react, but what works in theory doesn't always work in practice.

I don't know if i was brave or stupid to start this topic. perhaps a bit of both.

[Joshua]

I think its wise to pointout that the people who have done the things you speak of may already be among us but also wise to remind you to stay in the moment rather than continously think to the future and what if this or that. So many issues are created like this.

[Ruth24]

Good point josh. Not a good topic to start so i'll say no more

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[piuma]

No Ruthie I am glad you did. I think it is important, as Josh said there is probably people here who are under those categories and at least they will know if they can trust this place or not. You see as you said some people have been abused and become abuser, some like meme said find children attractive, i think there is a big distinctiion there. i dont know how these minds work but i would imagine like with meyrs, i would want to know more about them, understand, without projecting my own anger on to them. dunno, then again maybe not , who knows how i would react , its alwats dependant on my mood. I dont howeva feel this place is safe for me to share my deepest problems, partly due to trust and various other things. Maybe as i get to know you better that might change, but its unliekly. and i do feel sad about that. But like i said, i havent been here that long, and it takes time for trust to form. xx

[Ruth24]

I would like to think i would be tolerant of these people despite their crimes.

I pity my rapists because to have to go to such extreme measures to get sexual pleasure must be awful

Those who have paraphilia, it must be grotesque feeling sexually attracted to children knowing it is wrong.

These people aren't able to get help because there is nowhere for them to go. So inevitably, some will commit these hideous crimes.Potential paedophiles and potential rapists are villafied before they even commit a crime for the thoughts that are in their heads. That it itself, i feel, is an injustice. If more help was available to these people and they got more support then maybe they wouldn't go on to be molesters or sex offenders.

So many paedophiles and sex offenders have been abused themselves and the vicious circle will continue to go on. They have no safe places to go and i think that is a great shame. I feel they deserve help as much as the next person

oooooh, i'm gonna get sooooooo attacked for saying this. But it is how i feel

[piuma]

No hun i hope you dont. I dont feel sympathy for my abusers, i feel, nothing, its quite odd, i feel not an inch of anything for them. and i understand what you said. i hope people dont attack you for this. we are all allowed a view. xxxx

[Ruth24]

I think feeling nothing is perfectly normal. I initially felt hate, then i felt nothing, absolutely nothing. Was kinda numb strange feeling as if nothing had happened, or as though it had happened to somebody else. But now i feel a kind of patronising pity. We all feel differently about these things. I'm so sorry you had to go through it

[Barebones]

Ruth, ur just saying how your thinking.

I will say, is rapist or any phedophiles or any other act actually dont have mental illnesses. why i say that, due to one, not many mental probs i see is about having sexual desire or controling or dominating like these people do. Rapist is not about sexual, its about dominance, its about feeling a falier in life, its about no having control. They try to turn this, saying i have mental illness, and its not true, thats why many mental probs have stigmas. Its like my uncle, he is paranoid schizo, no he doesnt go out and stab people. Alot of people would really like to blame an illness for there choices. The scary thing is, majority dont have any mental illness.

The prob with psyciatry is due to trying to explain someones behavour if its not socialy excepted. What social excepted is not about where humans come from or even about our natural side.

Why i say this, no animal rapes, sexualy abuses a child, due to in nature where actually humans come from, is waste of time, that is why femail species is actually dominant and will only mate when in season. Humans however, got this fuked up thinking we are above and have brains to do what we want. Its only humans who produce such fucked up people against nature. This is why i dont have a prob with pscyhopahts, but pedophiles and other shit. Due to them, and others is now human reaction, not natural, and that is only why i would feel offencive if someone came here and they said they had no control and seek its only due to there mental illness.

SO ruth your not wrong bringing this topic, but again it should of been put in other mental illnesses. Other than that, your fine.

xxx

[Data]

I pity my rapists because to have to go to such extreme measures to get sexual pleasure must be awful

I suspect that these people are able to get pleasure through consensual sex.

The reason why they rape, I believe, is because they want a way to release their anger, and they want power and control over people. Something about their own lives is out of control and this is a way of compensating. Humiliating someone else temporarily boosts their self-esteem and makes them feel good.

And, I think that the vast majority of them will know that what they are doing is illegal, immoral and incredibly damaging. But they probably just make the decision "I don't care, this is what I want". Someone who makes that decision does not deserve sympathy, in my opinion. What they deserve is punishment, and some education/therapy to help them understand their triggers and motivations.

[placebo69a]

I feel that if someone joins our community and brands themselves as dangerous, we should all take care. I also don't think asking such a person to leave is out of line for a member.

I think tolerance should have boundaries and some behaviours should not be tolerated. I wouldn't be tolerant of a rat just wanting to "hang around" the pantry, as long as I don't see him snacking. A chunk of C4 is perfectly harmless unless detonated, it's completely inert on its own - I'd still avoid leaving it around a nursery. The potential risk is enough to deter me from accepting such a situation. Maybe my fear is irrational, but as far as I know it's keeping my babies safe.

So I don't think it's wise to let someone who admittedly feels no remorse and has no conscience to roam around a bunch of self-destructive, mentally unwell people who are looking for emotional support. That's my opinion and you can disagree with it. But I haven't read anything yet to convince me otherwise.

I'm not saying they don't deserve help or understanding. I just fail to see the sense in them getting it from people who obviously don't understand them at all, and who will gladly throw themselves under the danger that they represent. There probably is a place where psychopaths, rapists and pedophiles can get the support they need. I seriously doubt this forum is such a place. The most a psychopath can get out of talking with the likes of us is amusement, and I don't want to even consider the damage they can do.

So in the name of love, acceptance and understanding - Please don't let self-proclaimed psychopaths in this vulnerable peer-support community.

[roxy222]

What a brave topic to start, Ruth ! . I have thought about similar things (to the questions you mention) myself before.

My opinion is that Joshua's wishes ought to be respected. People should we welcome here whatever their diagnosis and past misdeeds.

I ask from you the same as any other person here. Your adhere to the rules. Thats it, otherwise I really hope you are able to express yourself freely without the stress of a mask.

If people are not allowed to admit to their failings, no matter how bad they are, then they will be driven underground and change from becoming potentially dangerous to actually dangerous. Its better that these people are able to talk about their problems so that they can be addressed.

Having said that, I am aware that this is an idealistic view and that many of the people in the categories you mention have done things that most people (including me) would regard as horrible. And, I am able to maintain some emotional detachment, but I have never been sexually abused and I am aware that some people struggle to control their feelings about these things.

Also, at the risk of being patronising, I would like to make a few distinctions:

• A psychopath is a person with a mental disorder. They are not necessarily a criminal.
• A paedophile is someone who finds children sexually attractive. This is not the same as a child sex offender.
• A rapist is a sex offender. They may or may not have a mental disorder.

i wouldnt personally say a peadophile was someone who found children sexually attractive, i would saya peadophile was someone who acted on that urge

i agree psychopaths arnt allways criminals

i dont want to give the time of day to anyone who is a current rapist or peadophile. i have worked with children who were abusers and soem of them yes dont go onto become a peaodophile when they are adults because some never abuse for the sake of abusing but do it simpley because it all they have ever known, but with regard to adult peadophiles i believe all the experts are agreed that 99% reoffend (ray wire being the obvious expert to give this opinion) and i certainly wouldnt want to give the time of day to them, or think they are getting off on any conversations here, or worse, meeting other peadophiles here to prganise their activitys. i think the statistics when it coems to rapists say that 1 in 2 reoffend

i also agree with bb that rape is about power, so to have sympathy for someone needing to follow sexual urgees or whatever the phrase was was pretty nieve

adults are not victims of their sexual urges anyways, its common for children abused systamaticlly to feel sexually attracked to men who resemble in personallity their abusers, a friend has spoken in the past of how she had to imagine her fathers face to climax. but she went to therapy taylored towards this and she 'reprogrammed' herself to be allowed to feel attracked to men who treated her well. i feel sexually attracked to practiclaly any man who is nice to me, i know that deep down i feel that is my role, but i also know that other than when i was a teenager i have not acted on this.

ruth youv just doen a thread saying bpd is not an excuse for your behaviour, well whatever mental ilness any abuser has is not an excuse for theirs, and as the actions of s peadophile are evil and criminal i think openly allowing them anywhere is completely out of order. hell there are sites out their where peados are welcome, and these sites are getting chased by police, i dont think it would be in anybodys interest to let this site become one of those

[roxy222]

I pity my rapists because to have to go to such extreme measures to get sexual pleasure must be awful

I suspect that these people are able to get pleasure through consensual sex.

The reason why they rape, I believe, is because they want a way to release their anger, and they want power and control over people. Something about their own lives is out of control and this is a way of compensating. Humiliating someone else temporarily boosts their self-esteem and makes them feel good.

And, I think that the vast majority of them will know that what they are doing is illegal, immoral and incredibly damaging. But they probably just make the decision "I don't care, this is what I want". Someone who makes that decision does not deserve sympathy, in my opinion. What they deserve is punishment, and some education/therapy to help them understand their triggers and motivations.

exactly