Psychopaths, Paedophiles Rapist Etc

[Ruth24]

What a brave topic to start, Ruth ! . I have thought about similar things (to the questions you mention) myself before.

My opinion is that Joshua's wishes ought to be respected. People should we welcome here whatever their diagnosis and past misdeeds.

I ask from you the same as any other person here. Your adhere to the rules. Thats it, otherwise I really hope you are able to express yourself freely without the stress of a mask.

If people are not allowed to admit to their failings, no matter how bad they are, then they will be driven underground and change from becoming potentially dangerous to actually dangerous. Its better that these people are able to talk about their problems so that they can be addressed.

Having said that, I am aware that this is an idealistic view and that many of the people in the categories you mention have done things that most people (including me) would regard as horrible. And, I am able to maintain some emotional detachment, but I have never been sexually abused and I am aware that some people struggle to control their feelings about these things.

Also, at the risk of being patronising, I would like to make a few distinctions:

• A psychopath is a person with a mental disorder. They are not necessarily a criminal.
• A paedophile is someone who finds children sexually attractive. This is not the same as a child sex offender.
• A rapist is a sex offender. They may or may not have a mental disorder.

i wouldnt personally say a peadophile was someone who found children sexually attractive, i would saya peadophile was someone who acted on that urge

i agree psychopaths arnt allways criminals

i dont want to give the time of day to anyone who is a current rapist or peadophile. i have worked with children who were abusers and soem of them yes dont go onto become a peaodophile when they are adults because some never abuse for the sake of abusing but do it simpley because it all they have ever known, but with regard to adult peadophiles i believe all the experts are agreed that 99% reoffend (ray wire being the obvious expert to give this opinion) and i certainly wouldnt want to give the time of day to them, or think they are getting off on any conversations here, or worse, meeting other peadophiles here to prganise their activitys. i think the statistics when it coems to rapists say that 1 in 2 reoffend

i also agree with bb that rape is about power, so to have sympathy for someone needing to follow sexual urgees or whatever the phrase was was pretty nieve

adults are not victims of their sexual urges anyways, its common for children abused systamaticlly to feel sexually attracked to men who resemble in personallity their abusers, a friend has spoken in the past of how she had to imagine her fathers face to climax. but she went to therapy taylored towards this and she 'reprogrammed' herself to be allowed to feel attracked to men who treated her well. i feel sexually attracked to practiclaly any man who is nice to me, i know that deep down i feel that is my role, but i also know that other than when i was a teenager i have not acted on this.

ruth youv just doen a thread saying bpd is not an excuse for your behaviour, well whatever mental ilness any abuser has is not an excuse for theirs, and as the actions of s peadophile are evil and criminal i think openly allowing them anywhere is completely out of order. hell there are sites out their where peados are welcome, and these sites are getting chased by police, i dont think it would be in anybodys interest to let this site become one of those

I think its a paraphile that finds children sexually attractive?

I don't feel I am naive to pity my rapists. Would you rather i overwhelmed myself with hate? Pity is patronising. Yes they deserve to be locked up, but what good would it do? yeah i would feel better, justce would have prevailed, but they would emerge from prison far more aggressive than they went in, so surely prison with therapy is a much better combination?

I'm not suggesting this forum turn into a paedophile convention! All I'm saying is, there are probably some here already and how would we react if they admitted to it?

Yes i wrote a post saying BPD is not an excuse for my behaviour. But what if a paraphile who has not acted on sexual urges was to join? these people have been jusged and sentenced before even committing any crime?

[Barebones]

Placebo, hwo u feel about a psychopath, is that some people with BPD or alot of others has the ability to be that way.

Dont know about u, i have only learnt years back, that my behavour which is classed as so called psychopath, is infact when I myself and with help i did actually find consideration or thought of another, and it wasnt about me trying to provoke or react to what was shown to me. I said and its true, if i never went where and showed things, is i would of got same diagnoses. Really down to it, i have only learnt certain emotions and feelings. When younger, i had no thought of empathy or what happened.

I wrote a post about what i went and joined in my early years, i only now know how to explain and be aware of what i did. So please dont write off anyone, and you aint i know, but it comes across me when you do.

Murderers are to me far better than a person who kills or some shit that happenes now and the past.

i wish my dad was a murderer than an phedophile, but then thats my therapist words, my dad and what he has done is i would rather he was in prison and see right, all he knows even now is right. My mother is all she knows, and no there is no excuse of ignorance, the only prob is, some peeps think ignorance is this or that, or this is right or that. Thing is, we dont know all, we dont experience the same, and noone is the same, and me, i learnt my mistakes, but society has set a level of what is, and no, i will not go into that catorgry or shit.

sry, i wil do what i think is best, i will do best for what i love and respect, other is i have no control and what goes around comes around.

xx

[roxy222]

true pity or pathos isnt patronising at all, it is about genuinely feeling for another person, for there struggle and pain

,

and locking them up would do one very good thing, prtect people, ofcourse i would rather they had therapy whislt locked up so that the risk of reoffending is minimised, but id also like people to be kept safe. a couple of visits to some group and a parol officer doesnt even make a dent

all people are judged, it human and necessary for self protection, doesnt mean people are making a value judgemnet on who they are as people, but rather that there are more appropriate places. i wouldnt cuddle a lion just because i havnt seen then bite anyone, i may not lable the lion as vicious but id sure as hell not assume hes safe

[Ruth24]

true pity or pathos isnt patronising at all, it is about genuinely feeling for another person, for there struggle and pain

,

and locking them up would do one very good thing, prtect people, ofcourse i would rather they had therapy whislt locked up so that the risk of reoffending is minimised, but id also like people to be kept safe. a couple of visits to some group and a parol officer doesnt even make a dent

all people are judged, it human and necessary for self protection, doesnt mean people are making a value judgemnet on who they are as people, but rather that there are more appropriate places. i wouldnt cuddle a lion just because i havnt seen then bite anyone, i may not lable the lion as vicious but id sure as hell not assume hes safe

I am well aware of what true pity or pathos is. I would hate the idea of somebody pitying me, i find the idea very patronising

[rmorgan_uk]

i dont really know how i would feel if somone admitted on this site that they had commited a sex offence. i dont think that other people do either. it is an interesting topic of conversation but im not sure that any of us could give an complety no biased opinion untill it actually happened.

i dont think that psycopath really fits into this topic either. i personally think (THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION) that this condition is misunderstood and shouldnt even be metioned in this topic. my reason for this is that it can automaticaly cause more hostility towards this condition.

ruth it is not my intention in any way to put the topic down. i just think we have to be carefull on occasion with subjects like this, in case we inadvertantly cause hostillity to sombody with no just cause.

[Barebones]

roxy u said u wouldnt cuddle a lion, as you would be aware of what could happen.

Could tell ya, alot of people would, due to not understanding.

Hoever, i myself dont forget where i am from, also human interactions, which is far worse than a friggen lion, I would rather be in a lions den than be put through alot of the crap alot of people go to.

sry judging is not just human, all animals judge there first response and they do have ability to know when danger is there. What goes wrong in humans, is we think we no best and we know all. we judge, no specie judges, that word alone is our own.

self protection? funny, how is it that if not right, only humans has this ability to self distroy? funny thing, most say well lemmings commit suicide? ffs self protection? why are we destroying and killing ourselves?

No specie i know will or would put themselves to die, as its all about self precervation and producing new beings. Its us who has brought it, its us who makes that bear in cage mad, its us who makes any animal show self precervate, its only us with dogs who have made them attack kids, children, adults, they dont normaly do that, they are scaveners, but again humuns made what we have, and i am sry, when a dog attacks a kid? its not the dog i ask about its the human.

sry as normal to me, but i am making the best i can, is sry, humanity? lol what the fuk is that? put more questions and rules is only asking for problems.

sry. i would rather hurt a human, than i would an animal. its only humans who made that difrence, not me.

[successful_workthru]

In my opinion, anyone who rapes etc or is a paedophile has had a bad experience of life.

I believe that all people who behave badly, do so, because of thier own experiences.

Have you heard about the human shadow, well rapists and paeds act out thier shadow in the most extreme of ways.

Ultimately, no one knows who is capable of what.

There was a convicted paedo on telly years back, who was in prison. He said he wanted to stay there so he could not commit any other offences.

He was released and he did commit another offence.

Little knowledge that I have, paedo behaviour is an addiction, and the paedo above was aware enough to let the authorities know of his position, so in this sense, the authorities were at fault.

No abusive replies coming from me, very interesting question.

[Ruth24]

I think i have to agree with you there morgan.

Very sensitive topic so i should have been more careful

Thanks for pointing that out

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[roxy222]

true pity or pathos isnt patronising at all, it is about genuinely feeling for another person, for there struggle and pain

,

and locking them up would do one very good thing, prtect people, ofcourse i would rather they had therapy whislt locked up so that the risk of reoffending is minimised, but id also like people to be kept safe. a couple of visits to some group and a parol officer doesnt even make a dent

all people are judged, it human and necessary for self protection, doesnt mean people are making a value judgemnet on who they are as people, but rather that there are more appropriate places. i wouldnt cuddle a lion just because i havnt seen then bite anyone, i may not lable the lion as vicious but id sure as hell not assume hes safe

I am well aware of what true pity or pathos is. I would hate the idea of somebody pitying me, i find the idea very patronising

thats a real shame you have so little compassion for yourself

[Ruth24]

true pity or pathos isnt patronising at all, it is about genuinely feeling for another person, for there struggle and pain

,

and locking them up would do one very good thing, prtect people, ofcourse i would rather they had therapy whislt locked up so that the risk of reoffending is minimised, but id also like people to be kept safe. a couple of visits to some group and a parol officer doesnt even make a dent

all people are judged, it human and necessary for self protection, doesnt mean people are making a value judgemnet on who they are as people, but rather that there are more appropriate places. i wouldnt cuddle a lion just because i havnt seen then bite anyone, i may not lable the lion as vicious but id sure as hell not assume hes safe

I am well aware of what true pity or pathos is. I would hate the idea of somebody pitying me, i find the idea very patronising

thats a real shame you have so little compassion for yourself

Excuse me??????!!!!!!!!!!! Don't play games with me Roxxy

[roxy222]

im not playing games, i meant it seriously

i dont play games

[Ruth24]

I do have compassion for myself. A lot of people don't enjoy the idea of being pitied, and I am one of them

[placebo69a]

Some dictionary definitions to help smooth things over a bit:

From Mirriam-Webster online dictionary:

synonyms - pity, compassion, commiseration, condolence, sympathy - mean the act or capacity for sharing the painful feelings of another.

pity implies tender or sometimes slightly contemptuous sorrow for one in misery or distress <felt pity for the captives>.

compassion implies pity coupled with an urgent desire to aid or to spare <treats the homeless with great compassion>.

commiseration suggests pity expressed outwardly in exclamations, tears, or words of comfort <murmurs of commiseration filled the loser's headquarters>.

condolence applies chiefly to formal expression of grief to one who has suffered loss <expressed their condolences to the widow>.

sympathy often suggests a tender concern but can also imply a power to enter into another's emotional experience of any sort <went to my best friend for sympathy> <in sympathy with her desire to locate her natural parents>.

[placebo69a]

Or in other words, you're both right, and obviously no one was playing games or meant offense. So no reason to quarrel.

Oh and the idea of feeling compassion towards one's self has no meaning considering the definition of the word compassion.

[roxy222]

no quarl on my part

[Ruth24]

Thanks for settling that placebo

[Barebones]

Hi success, could i then ask you, if it was addiction is where did it come from? if they said he would rather be in prison than being in society, is that not his choice? as u said he came out and repeated again, its not about mental illness, its about satisfaction and doing what he feels right.

Not sure if u read my post, again, no other specie rapes or rapes a younger speice of the own.

So is this not then goes from, if you can try or get away with things, is your right. I know my own behavour and it carried on, due to not being told or given that is was wrong.

Psychopaths is yet another man made excuse, this results in why i asked about females, is no they are not in same percentage. The stuff you get on media, is nothing to do with that diagnoses, its due to people saying fuk you and i will do what i want, right or wrong, unless i see is they commit crime likes of what is not natural, then i dont see a prob. I am learning though, again social expertations is to me brought on by exactly the things we are being judged and yes i find hard to not be sensitive in that, but i do now control.

Trigger

To me, i would kill a person regardless, i would hurt and kill, as there is so much apoinions out there, i didnt know it was wrong, why i say wrong, sry i was minority, and that is supposed to be bad, forgetting and ignorance of the things that happened leading up to it.

I still have this prob, but i am learning that its not black and white, or extreme to what i think it is. Animals, species, is now i have my own precervation, and its natural. Sry part is, u attack, i attack back, but running can help only if in a pack.

sry again this is stupiid repsonse.

me i need to go back to therapy

[placebo69a]

It's not stupid it's just how you think.

It lacks morality and that's what scares me. I think moral equivalence is the foundation upon which free modern societies have been built.

[Ruth24]

Agreed placebo

Bones, thats not silly at all

I don't know if it is all morality based, but maybe mortality! Back in Roman times, when a a person was lucky to reach the age of 30, human life had much less value because there was such a high infant mortality rate and people died younger. When you consider the hideous ways people used to be punished for simple crimes such as staling a loaf of bread? Crucifiction, slow painful death. Hung drawn and quartered-eeeoooooow and the french skinned people alive. It wasn't just a punishment, but was also entertainment for anybody that wanted to see!

I was about to say humanity has come a long way, but when you read individual stories in 'Daisys' i often wonder...

[Barebones]

thanks both for understanding a little.

sry ruth, its now how far i can see when humanity started, its about where as a civilised human being is we havent actually got further than when we thought we said we was the centre of the universe. we still learn and go back to the old days.

Could i ask? if we was punnished like old times, do you think we would have the probs we have now?

Ignorance to me is, goiing to another country and not going by there rules. What i am saying is, no i wouldnt go to a place where i couldnt abide by them, if i did, it was by choice, lol i mean, you go smuggle drugs or yo steal in a certain country, hell you better face up to what u did as there is no thinking and looking for excuses in why or what u did. This is why i dont have any sympathy for people going to another country and say smuggle out or in smack or any drugs.

Who says there rules is wrong? i have more respect for certain countries rules than i do for our country. Us we seem to forget our past, but our past is that, but we still have the ignorance that others should stand by our own princiiples, oh and principles goes by the individual.

I have no prob in anyones rules if by reality and nature, otherwise, i do. I dont forget where i came from, but i dont forget that i have a choice when at the age i am now.

I think i said in long post ago, i dont have control of past, i dont have control of future, but i have some control of now. Now is important, past is baggage, future is in no ones hand, u can only point yourself in a right direction.

control, is one word which many issues comes from.

sry prob didnt make sense again there.

xx

[placebo69a]

That's a good first person description of moral nihilism. I think it's a dim view on humanity as a whole but I can't disprove it nor do I want to convince you to think otherwise. I think if you look at the world realistically you can find good examples of why this philosophy isn't more wide-spread.

I don't think I've ever met a moral nihilist before. It's a pleasure. :)

[drew]

i wonder where are need to judge comes from, iknow i can judge people on appearanay we sometimes or the way they speak

[Barebones]

whoes a pleasure placebo? people who have posted on this or is it to do with my last post?

Looked at your link, i guess myself is that again we can find many meanings for words or words and meaning. It still goes with humanity and rules of behavour and our ability in excusing our behavour or finding fault of things we are ignorant of.

Sry placebo, wasnt sure who u was responding to, but u knew that when u posted, or maybe not.

sry.

och anyway, good topic ruth. still think in wrong place lol

[Ruth24]

I think part of the need to judge is instinctive. As a child, big scary man-run!!!!!

As a baby usually only the mother or somebody who has a close attachment to the baby can rock it to sleep, it needs to feel safe

But not instinctive enough considering we need to teach our kids stranger danger-which my son still hasn't got the hang of!

I've always trusted men with beards. Sounds strange but my dad has a beard so as a kid if a man had a beard i viewed him as safe.

I think we naturally judge people as soon as we meet them, for our own safety. But i also think its highly individualistic. I suppose its the same as what attracts us to a mate. Personal experience dictates what we view as safe. Skin colour and certain accents can make me judge a person and scare me off. Behaviour such as excessive drinking or drug taking will scare me off.

I wonder, will i feel safe with this person alone?

We need to judge to defend ourselves against what we as individuals see as dangerous.

Having said that, I have been on a psychiatric ward surrounded by people that society view as dangerous, but some were really lovely people that i felt very safe with

If somebody announced to me they were a paedophile i would feel in great danger, but that makes no sense because I am an adult and therefore thet are no direct threat to me. That jusgement is not for my safety, but a judgement on that persons morality and wether they are safe within society, so i can look at the greater picture and not just look out for my own safety.

Now i am a mum i feel as though i need to make the world a safer place for my children. prior to this i only had myself to look after so didn't really give a flying duck.

I'm tired and rambling now, sorry

As for your question bones, what would happen if we still had the same punishments now as we did hundreds of years ago? Good question! It seems humanity has moved on and we now view these tortureous deaths as unacceptable. I think people would still go and see somebody being hung drawn and quartered because we seem to get a sick pleasure out of somebody elses pain. I can't see us ever evolving from that, it is merely social control that stops us. But the desire to see people in pain is still there, hence popular television programmes about murder and torture. We get so engrossed!

I think we all have a sadistic streak, we want to maim or hurt or even murder those that hurt us. Again, i think that is instinctive. We are still animals after all. We just think we are better than most animals. Animals do kill each other in the wild, for dominance, to make sure their genes are passed on. Male hamsters will kill each other if placed in the same cage. The difference is, animals don't kill out of malice. there is always a biological explanation. Animals do torture, a cat will torture a mouse before killing it, killer whales torture seals before killing them, so its not just us humans that get a thrill out of torture.

Rambling again, sorry

Night night

xxxxxxx

[successful_workthru]

Barebones

I'm no expert, but I get the impression that paedos are addicted to the power of sex with minors.

Maybe they were abused in some way - apparently not all paedos were sex abused.

I got the impression the prison paedo knew he had an addiction, and for the safety of society wanted to protect society from himself.

Dunno if he was mentally ill, but he seemed to have a compulsion to carry out this act, but also the awareness of this compulsion, enough to want to stay away from offending.

Humans are removed from nature by thier own making.

No other animal wears clothes or lives by the clock, or has money.

We cause our own stress and as a result some people abuse.

Sadly, for some sex abuse is seen as normal. I spoke to someone who had a relative who abused and who was brought up with it. In the olden days, it was very common, but was kept in the closet.

Psychopaths are seen to be totally sane, just devoid of empathy and love. There is a term called affectionless psychopathy, coined by the psychologist J Bowlby. He posited that infants who do not receive adequate love in the very early days.

"Disruption of attachment during the crucial first three years can lead to what has been called "affectionless psychopathy", the inability to form meaningful emotional relationships, coupled with chronic anger, poor impulse control, and a lack of remorse." taken from here

Not stupid, bones, just a thread full of different views, interesting.