Roses Posted October 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Thanks. With the doctor from the Priory I wanted the letter saying he thinks I am BPD so I can go to my pdoc and ask him to look at why my dx is chronic recurrent depressive disorder + anxiety + psychosis + anorexia/bulimia + body dysmorphia and considering I am a self=harmer too I want to ask why I am not being offered cbt or schema therapy as I am quite clearly BPD. With the school I want to know if they acted within quidelines and whether they should have called social services at the time, os got me seen by someone. I don't want money I want to know if they acted professionally and within the law of the time. With Dr Holt I want to know the same as the school. I don't want money but if he didn't act within the law at the time I want him to be punished for his crime of negligence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 I want to ask why I am not being offered cbt or schema therapy as I am quite clearly BPD. A read in a reputable BPD book that many doctors don't like to diagnose BPD because of the stigma. However, the authors were strongly against this practice, since it leads to people being given the wrong (ineffective) treatment. For borderline personality disorder, there is also DBT and MBT, the latter which I am finding very effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Oopsie, I meant DBT or schema in that last post. Sorry Day-ta xxx Yeah, apparently the 'trend' to offer no diagnosis is going to change according to my support worker at the day centre as they have found it leads to confusion and the wrong treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 UPDATE - THIS IS A BIGGIE I spoke to the NHS guy. He helped me to see that I would probably never get my answers. We could pursue whether he followed guidelines but apparently at the time the guidelines were very open and quite often down to the discretion of the doctor. This man knows that doctor very well and doesn't feel he would have said what my Mother remembers (not in those words) and that perhaps she misunderstood and he used his discretion and here we have a big mess. He also asked me what would I do with the information if it was proved he was not following the rules and I said nothing. Which pretty much summed it up. I am not out for revenge or to persecute this doctor, I just wanted peace of mind which this one extraordinary doctor has given me with just 45 minutes on the phone. I believe there was error on Dr Holt's part back then and error on my mothers side. I can just imagine her feeling very satisfied that I was making it up or making it worse than it was. You remember her attitude to the school about my bruising was to minimise it and play it down "oh it's just her brother". This is the story of my life. Having my feelings invalidated by THAT WOMAN. The one 'joint' therapy session she attended with me when I was abtou 16/17 the therapist tried to show her how it was her fault as well as my brother's (well she actually told my Mum off) but my Mum left and said the lady was wrong and that she wouldn't come again. So, the BIG news is that, a couple of years ago I logged a call to the Manchester police regarding my brother but didn't feel able to follow it through at the time. I called them again, just now, and a female officer is going to call me on my mobile and arrange coming to see me. I had to give them some details and names on the phone, I was shaking and am still sort of shaking now. OMG this is huge. I can't tell hubbie though. Not yet. Please, oh please all of you say a prayer for me. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted October 13, 2009 Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 Huge reassuring squish! Sounds like you are on an incredible path... Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 sayin a prayer and lightin the candle early jus for u hunni... sorry it took me so long to reply - still playin catch up what u are doing takes so much guts and i want u to know i am right behind u all the way... holding your hand, or jus quietly sitting with you, whatever you need at the time... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 hugs roses...your so brave hun. thinking of you *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 Thanks Chips and Sloane. I didn't want to say until now, but it is tomorrow morning at 9.30am that the police are picking me up. Some of you already know I am doing a video statement. They wanted to do it as soon as possible and I'm glad cos the waiting is the worst. *Deep breath* just gotta keep busy until then. I'm sure I can do it. Especially with your candle going Chips me girl xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 oh you can do it girl... i am always soooo impressed with your strength and resolve... deep breathes and have a relaxin evening tonight... smelly bath wit candles if you get chance - or slob out in fornt of the tv.... oooo - i know what will help u... ima pm u summat !!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 So proud of you Roses. You can do this, stay strong. You give so many people here hope. what you are doing is amazing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 just wanna say you amaze me! what a star u are! truely inspired by you!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx im here for you if u need me smooch :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Thank you everyone xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 dam roses, your making a big step hun. i know of two people who did what you are doing, 1 off them got compensation for there abuse and unsure if the guy got imprisoned or not meaning the abuser, would have to find out, that 1 was a police officer but he is ex now. The other 1 was my sister, but she never got far, due to those days, didnt have back up. so good luck hun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Thanks Bones xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 I am back. It went as well as can be expected. I cried briefly and I shook a lot but I got through it. They are coming back this evening to take a statement from my husband and I have signed some things to let them investigate records. I was in there about 2 hours (in the video suite) and a bit of time before that in reception and the lounge. Hubbie due back at 1.30 ish. Thank you all for your support. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 well done hunni..... so very proud of your strength... i hope all goes well with hubby tonight xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 I am glad things didn't go too badly, Roses. Well done for going through with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Proud of you roses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Well, it has all gone to shit. The police came back at 3 for hubbie and just left bout 20 minutes ago. Hubbie had a 5 minute break to go get kids and then I was left entertaining the kids for an hour or so and had to cook tea and everything. It is not hubbie's fault but they picked me up at 9.30am and I am dead on my feet now. I have self harmed on my leg and had to stri-strip it up and have had to take my extra quetiapine. Right about now I am just wishing I wasn't here at all. I have no fight left now. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 can u take something to help u sleep and go to bed early think u need it please take care my love - and it hasnt all gone to shit xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 thank you. I want to stay up as it has taken a long time to establish a regular meds/sleep thing but you are right. Hubbie is taking kids to school tomorrow so I can have a sleep right through. I think talking on here might help but I will leave if I get upset at all. Thank you so much xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 oh hunni - of course you feel drained... to go through all that you have today would drain anyone let alone also looking after a husband and 2 kids and cook tea and everything else... try and take the rest of the evening easy on yourself, praise yourself for what you have done... you may not feel like it at the moment, but yuo have done an awseomely brave thing... and i am still very very proud of you... i am burning you a special lil smelly tea light tonight cos i think you may need a lil extra... dont worry too much about the extra med and the sh... these things do happen (been there myself hun as you know) fight is over for today... you have done it so far... try and relax a little... love you hun... big big hugs to you... (((((((((((((((((((roses)))))))))))))))))))))))) Kath xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Hi Roses Just wanted to say, dont feel like you have screwed up. When I do go through stresses, I get all sorts of urges and my emotions go off the charts for a few days, and you have just been through something you have been waiting your whole life to do. Its a massive part of the healing process, and prolly opening up huge wounds that really, most people can only guess at what it must be like to have. You are holding it together, and I have nothing but warm glowey admiration for you. Like the Ready Brek kid. :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Wow, I am really touched. Extra smelly candle just for me. You know I was thinking of that candle this morning whilst I was trying to get showered and put my warpaint on and get psyched up. Thank you so much Kath. And Rossie, Ready Brek is like the warmest most scrummy thing on a cold winter's morning when you are faced with a walk to school. Thank you. I'm glad I got the Ready Brek kid on my team. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted October 20, 2009 Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 im not surprised you are so drained hun - you are so brave doing what you are, and im proud of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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