Villan Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 so... i've now been off the citalopram for three weeks, i have also mostly not taken the amitrip although there were a couple nights i needed it and so took it... (i use it as a sleepy med)... life without ad's is going good (touch wood) - there was a lil incident on holiday where i was major triggered, but surprisingly my bro was there for me (first time for everything) and i also had support from a friend via text so i survived that... i am starting slowly to accept my feelings, had a good t session last night which covered the above incident and she completely validated my feelings of anger and hurt which i felt when it happened... it is ok to feel anger, it is ok to feel like i wanna twat the muppet that has upset me (acting on that is not tho - i do kno the difference) and it is ok to do what i need to do to protect myself from the other person (i verbally gave back later on in the holiday in an non attacking way once i had calmed down)... because i can now accept the bad feelings (to a certain extent) i am able to cope with them better, rather than trying to push them away, cos that only makes them come back stronger, i can basically say to myself that it is ok to have "bad" feelings, i dont have to be sweetness and light all the time, if i wanna mope, i will jolly well mope... if i wanna stomp with anger, it's ok to do that too... oooooooo maybe ima cracking this stuff... but ssssshhhhhhh - slowly slowly catchy monkey... and ima say it again - BIG BIG thankyous too all's of you here who have helped and supported me...... much love to you all... Kath xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Kath, you are an inspiration to us all. Thank YOU for being wonderful YOU. :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink stars Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 This is great to hear of your progress, you sound very strong x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 :wub: gone all gushy now... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :ninja: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b0bulat0r Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Well done for going med free, congratulations on your hard work. got me thinking about my own feelings and your right it is ok to feel the way you do. . Keep being awesome and all the best Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 yeah... i had a good analagy for feelings... we all kno that feelings are yuor body's way of saying to you "i need" so think of feelings as indicator lights on a car dashboard they are jus telling you what your car needs like if the oil light comes on - car needs oil - if yuo dont address this need, then eventually the engine will break... same as if you dont address your feelings then they wont go away and can overwhelm you... sounds really really simple - yeah... BUT... the thing i find with feelings is that sometimes i dont know what they are... i can sometimes only get them into either "good feelings" and "bad feelings"... and most of the time even if i do know what they are, i dont know what to do about them... nasty scary horrid things... it's kinda like a light coming on a dash in an unfamiliar car - so you go to the manual to find out what it means... and what you need to do to address this... unfortunately there is no manual for people (damit) so i go to t to find out... that's where i am at the moment... learning to reconnect my feelings... as i said, so far so good.... xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Why don't you write stuff down as it happens then you will have your own manual for later on if you need it. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 funnily enough ima doing exactly that... got a big bumper book for scribblings and a special shiny pen... gonna start sticking stuff in too - gonna get they lil glue dot thingies from the craft shop and a big bunch of stickers after work tonight... (hope is open late)... see... inspired in my own lil way by your leafy sticky project you posted about... cuddlin and validatin my inner child.... always inspired by you Roses... you da best hun... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx that's awesome hunni. You done good! It's so inspiring. Really happy for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 I'm so glad you are doing these positive things and sticking stuff in is a great idea. We have scrapbooks here going back to when I first met hubbie at 18 and some older postcards and stuff to when I was about 16. It's only ticket stubs and stuff but I'm hoping that some day the kids can look back and see all the places they went and the things they did. If hubbie says, what year did Pulp Fiction come out? I can flick back and say ... 199 whatever it was LOL and there are our theatre stubs. I think scrapbooks are great! Lots of love. I'm cuddling you too ((((((((((((((((((((((Kath)))))))))))))))))))))))))) xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Its understanding other people's feelings that I struggle with the most. I am glad that your T is going well and that being med free is a positive experience for you, Ninja Chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 love to you xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Well done, that's a huge achievement. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granite Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 glad things are looking well for you keep strong and going foward you are an inspiration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Wow ninja, thats fantastic. I'm on 50mg of citalopram and am way to scared to consider coming off it. When i grow up i wanna be like you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 When i grow up i wanna be like you LMAO - you flatter me too much - i'll probably be posting in crisis again next week !!! That's the beauty of depressive episodes !!! And that's the reason i am still going to t - yeah i feel great, but i am NOT better... jus in remission... Still need this place, still need all of you, but atm ima giving back as much as i can (hence the peer support thingie) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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