Changing Maladaptive Behaviors.

[LadyMacbeth]

Last Wed. I had a therapy session with my T. I arrived very angry and I pretty much just sat in in my chair silent while feeling the anger inside of me boiling.

She asked me how I felt and I replied that I felt so angry and full of self-hate and worthlessness. She then asked me what room am I usually in at home when I want to hurt myself. I told her the bathroom looking in the mirror at myself. She asked me to close my eyes and picture myself standing infront of the mirror and to put myself into that state. She asked how I felt and I said scared and alone.

She then asked me to remember a time in my life I felt that way as a child and I went back to 1984 when my mother forgot to pick me up from school and I was standing in the window of my classroom crying because I was left alone. She told me to talk about the incident like it was the present. Wow! it was so powerful because I felt it. I was not afraid though I felt so relaxed and safe. She told me to walk into the room and take the little Emma and put her on my lap and comfort her and tell her she is going to be safe. So I did that. I started to cry because I had never connected with my innerchild before. She was alone and scared and it was not her fault. I felt so much compassion and love towards her.

My T then asked me to put myself back into the bathroom in the present and comfort the little Emma when she gets into that state of mind because its my innerchild who is scared, alone, and feels abandoned.

I left the session feeling quite drained and sad. I was no longer angry though. It was a weird feeling. On Saturday morning I was triggered by these feelings and felt like going into the bathroom again to SI. But, instead I went into my room pulled the covers over my head and imagined walking into the room of the three year old me and hugging her and telling her she was safe and it was not her fault. The little girl stopped crying and she was okay. When I finished with this image I no longer felt like hurting myself. I actually felt younger. I did not have a panic attack instead the feelings went away after awhile.

I just called my T to tell her that it did work and she was happy and is going to work more with schema therapy with me. I cannot believe how effective it can be. If you work with it alone it does have the ability to change our behaviours and the maladaptive patterns we have picked up throughout the years. It may not work for everyone but if you are interested its worth a shot.

[verbena]

Emma, as always you have posted something well worth reading.

XXX

Ann

[janey]

The other day when you suggested it to me, I put my little Jane on my lap and talked to her... it really helped. Not that I doubted you or anything, but I was shocked at how effective it was.

Thank you.

xx

[LadyMacbeth]

I think maybe because we see ourselves as children. Children are vulnerable, pure and innocent. "A blank slate." We react in ways due to our environment I think allowing us to see ourselves as children helps us get in touch with our vulnerablities and fears. I doubted this technique at first because of that whole innerchild thing. I did not think I could connect with her. But, in reality I was angry with her. I blamed her and it was not her fault. I know changing our behaviorial patterns does not happen over night but since my appt. and I am seeing things in a different light. Its good and I have to fight to keep it that way.

Thanks Verbena! You are so sweet! :)

[Alexa]

Sounds great Lady, I'm glad it's helped you!

xx

[Katherine]

(((((((Emma and little Emma)))))))

Its great isn't it!!!!!!

hugs,

karie 'n' lora

[ktodee_27]

I think I'm going to try that when I am upset and start flashing back too. Nurture my little katie. That's not a bad idea actually to do when my feelings get so intense and I'm going back to my childhood. I will let you know how it goes.

Katie and little katie

[lostsoul]

i think we should stop putting little children on our knees

before we get into trouble

sorry. couldnt resist xx