Katherine Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... I will not be jealous and depressed and feel inadequete ... Though I acknowledge that I feel these things....Its just hard, having left the course and then I've to write a letter to say I'm leaving the mental health support work I did (only for a month or so once a week in the Autumn).....and with lots of people becoming staff, I feel, well, how I feel.... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 ((((((Karie)))))) You are far from inadequete. You are warm and kind and caring. A talented writer, a survivor. We all have to walk this path of recovery our own way and in our own time. Everyones path is different. Some have travelled the rough and bumpy terrain and at least for now are on firmer ground . They may again come across the rocky road where its hard to get a good foot hold, and you will find your own more solid ground in time. You just have to keep on walking :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktodee_27 Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 ((((((((Karilora))))))))) I tend to get those feelings too when people get higher up or get jobs I once had. (Take having a paper route for example since that's the only job I can get now, and I'm "hire-able" for since bpd messed up my work historyand I used to be a nurses aide from 1997-1999 and was going to nursing school until I became ill and have a certification in working in daycare.) I felt inadequate about that and still do at times. So, I know what you mean there. It's hard. But I try to tell myself this..... You are not inadequate though. You just need some time to heal for yourself. It will only make you stronger as a person when you get that healing in you. Who knows? Maybe one day, you'll feel strong enough to go back into a position that you can do that again. It's not the end here yet. I think so often we think it is the end, but in reality it's not and the opportunity always exists when we reach more stable ground again. I think you made a good decision to back down for now and focus more on your recovery. I did the same and it will only make us stronger people in the end. It's not a forever thing. Take Care, Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 22, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 thanks.....feel a bit weepy..... karie p.s am I SO unstable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktodee_27 Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 22, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 *sadlyhalfsmilinginsecuresmiley* (((((Katie))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpmonki Posted March 22, 2005 Report Share Posted March 22, 2005 i feel the same hon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandaprincess Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 I write out lines a lot... I've got old school books full of them. It gets a bit monotonous after a while, but it does get some of the frustration out... I used to write because me therapist advised me to do it... The key is, NOT to belittle yourself in the process. I'd write things like: I'M A BITCH-QUEEN, AND I DON'T DESERVE ANY FRIENDS It's only a small thing but it does undermine one's self esteem. The last time I was in hospital, they had me writing: I'M ALIVE BECAUSE I'M TOO SPECIAL TO DIE I'M ALIVE BECAUSE I'M TOO SPECIAL TO DIE I'M ALIVE BECAUSE I'M TOO SPECIAL TO DIE I certainly didn't feel 'special', but it was a whole lot better for me that my usual style of literary reinforcement... ANYBODY surviving this condition has to be far from inadequate ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 thanks monki and pandaprincess.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 i hear a longing in me for someone to say "yes, you could be staff if you wanted, there is nothing stopping you.." but that is not gonna happen...even though i would then feel more comfortable with deciding to focus on looking after me, it would then be my own decision, not out of my control...and i would feel that any contributions i made were wothwhile and valuable. mind you, i AM seriously thinking about helping out with the research side of things, that is mentioned as an opportunity. maybe. though i've probly missed out on that too???? anyway, am now off to get ready for my last therapy session before the 25 day break..... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted March 23, 2005 Report Share Posted March 23, 2005 (((((karie)))))) Speak to Josh. He is not that scary And im sure there is loads of areas you could get involved in if you really wanted to help out :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted March 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2005 ok, thanks extinct....will ponder... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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