neurotica Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 This happens every year. I am really not geared up for the festive season: everything about it fills me with dread. Seeing my family, seeing my boyfriends family, feigning happiness for the sake of festive spirit/good will and all that cack... pretending to get on with certain members of his family because its the polite thing to do... suffering days on end in other peoples houses, wishing for the sanctity of my own xmas free sanctuary. People wondering why I haven't sent a card, why I wont go out for drinks with them... frantically attempting to order paltry gifts on ebay for exchanging with people I simply cannot avoid, but dreading that I have to face them in person to give them. The boyfriend wanting to know how can I be so bloody miserable when everybody else is so happy and excited... me snapping with 'pardon me for not being six years old!' Christmas is almost on top of us and all I can think is that I haven't done anything to prepare - I want to come up with some spectacular excuse for not participating: my religion forbids it, failing that, let go of my tenacious grip on sanity and get sectioned. I'd actually rather spend the season put away than I would out there with all that festive malaria I'm not looking for a solution, just would be comforting to know that I am not the only person who cant cope with all this hype and hysteria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 i do not celebrate christmas i do not send cards and pressies i go abroad for the duration with my mum and bro who are like minded so i am lucky... yes i am a humbug... but that is how i choose to be... so no hunni, you are NOT alone in this... i also cant face the fun and frivolity, used to fill me with dread when i was married cos ex-h's family had big do's and xmas went on for ages cos invariable one of the kids was away and then we had second xmas when they was back... not so much peace on earth - more like hell on earth... xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted November 6, 2009 Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 i hate christmas for the same reason i hate adverts on tv. 'perfect people, perfect families' - i scream at the tv when the ads come on and dive for the remote. that is what this xmas bunkum reminds me of. you are gettin it early, but mind you i have been pissin and moanin already too at the shops- just the personal 'fear' of the whole shenanigans has not hit me yet. i have far from the 'perfect' family. in fact, we are due in family court in january! last 2 years i wasnt bothered about the tree, tho i had bought a new one. xmas 2 yrs ago i spent in bed alone- my choice, as i was too depressed to see anyone. If you look at it, its really only 2-3 days plus new years. thats my 'get over xmas plan'. that and get all essential presents bought andwrapped, as its worse if you are hating it but putting off buying presents. Cos you have that niggling at you as well. Frome a fellow santa-phobe, annemarie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2009 chitma: how LUCKY are you?!!! I'd give anything to escape the festivities. Maybe thats what I should look into doing in the future: setting up a special xmas-free holiday camp for people like us who just want to get away from the hideousness of it all! Benway: I get positively hyseterical about xmas adverts: they're so appallingly fake it makes me sick! That 'perfect family' they depict just rubs it in your face that you haven't got a TV comercial perfect family! And when I hear xams tunes in supermarkets (the places that already fill me with an overwhelming sense of urgh to begin with) I just want to drop my shopping and run like hell. I have actually abandoned my shopping in Tesco when they started blaring their festive crapulence... last week while I was doing my 'middle of night mad dash' I noticed an entire isle dedicated to xmas... I was horrified Last year I bought a little black tree and stuck all things Voodoo on it: candy skulls, jelly snakes, tiny little bottles of rum etc. The family weren't terribly impressed, but maybe I will do it again this year and invent my very own seasonal holiday equivalent... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonegirl Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 thank goodness there are more than just me who hate the 'holiday season' with a passion christmas is the one time of year where there are things/people/music that makes me want to break down and cry in a ball Thanks, i feel slightly less alone now S xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 im so glad im not the only one who isint looking forward to coming weeks. *hugs* ive never been a huge fan of xmas, but this year is going to hurt alot due to seeing everyone all happy and bouncy and excited, and ill be excluded from joining in. my husband will be putting in more hours than usual at the pub and will be taking all the staff who have caused so many problems out for a nice meal and drinks........ and ill be left at home like cinderella because i got booted out my business by him. also, on tuesday at my counselling sesh, my counsellor asked me why i hate xmas......the absolute main reason, outwith all the feelings ive had to endure this year and the standard "too commercialised, too expensive etc" reasons, i couldnt give. 13 december 2001 i had a termination and none of my friends or family know this. im considering raising this with my counsellor this tuesday, but ive held onto it for so long im not sure if i will. my memories of seeing xmas lights and the streets filled with excited people and cards coming through my door always remind me of what i did, and ever since, xmas fills me with guilt. i shouldnt be enjoying myself, and have always got round it by working hard............this year i dont have that so the whole festive season run-up is going to hurt. hogmannay hasnt held any good memories for me for years, and 4 years ago i made the effort to go out and party. i did have a great time, but walking home a guy went for me with a knife. he missed, but there-on, ive never gone out for new years again and chose to work behind the bar instead. roll on february! i wish i could just get away - any room in your case chitma? lol xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 I used to be like a kid about Xmas and birthdays but since the 'year of discontent' when my evil sister in law was here I have been making all the right noises but somehow it is all broken inside me. I know I should want to celebrate peoples birthdays and Xmas and that but I just feel numb and like crying all the time. I just wish birthdays and Xmas had never exhisted. Every year when it's my birthday I wish I could just curl up and die. I hate it, putting on a false smile for my children and husband and looking happy at gifts or time spent with me when all the time I feel dead and black inside. I am evil and worthless and I wish i'd never been born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonegirl Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 I am evil and worthless and I wish i'd never been born. Oh Roses, you most certainly are not - I dont 'know' you, i tend to lurk on the boards, but your posts generally bring a smile to me so you must shine for those who do know you We cant help how we feel inside, its not a choice we make to hate christmas/people/birthdays (though given the choice i would get rid of them ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 7, 2009 Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 I guess I just feel bitter cos I used to love them so much. But, perhaps it won't always be like this. With my positive breakthrough today perhaps it will be different now, I don't know but no matter how positive I feel about life I always have the sincere belief I am evil and will go to hell eventually. it's just how I feel. sorry. But thanks for saying you like reading my posts hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 I wish we could all run away... Had another explosion at my bf about it. He cant get his head around why I really dont want to spend xmas with him and his family. I did it last year: I got absolutely shit-faced and grinned inanely at everybody, while they tried to tell me that I shouldn't really have pink/blue/green hair, and how dumb do I think I'm gonna look with my tattoos when I'm old, and what are my kids gonna think of their freak mother, and what kind of xmas am I gonna give them when I dont believe in it anyway, and what do I mean by hypocrisy of goodwill to all men making me sick... argh! Didn't have the heart to tell them I cant have kids, and even if by some magic fluke my womb was restored to full working order I still wouldn't consider inviting children into my mad dysfunctional existence... I cant talk to these people. The bf wont realise why I prefer to do xmas on my own, in my flat, away from everybody else. Thats how its been for years before I met him. I'd stock up on booze and cheese, buy myself a few gifts to unwarp on the day, get cosied up on the settee and watch some Studio Ghibli. My xmas day consists of long hot luxurious bath in the morning, booze, unwrapping gifts and being astounded at how I always buy me the things I like, booze, calling my mother, sister, brother for a brief chat, more booze, a meal (that doesn't involve turkey or sprouts) another wee drink, cheese, Studio Ghibli, and some more booze... What I cant understand is that if the bf wants to spend xmas with me so much, why cant he do boxing day with me? Why should the entirity of his two weeks xams holiday be spent with his family while I dont even get a day?! He keeps going on and on about how he wont see me for the whole festive season, but he hasn't even attempted to take into consideration what I want... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 im sorry missy neurotica that your bf doesnt understand how hard you find his family to chat with and how at xmas you really need to be alone. you have tried last year to do things his way and it wasnt good for you, so how about suggesting he tries your way this year, even for one day? im sorry if thats not a very good suggestion but its about all i can come up with im afraid. *hugs* i know where your coming from roses - xmas especially was something i did used to always look forward to aswell. i think what makes it worse is that the run-up lasts so long, and yet really is only one day after all! birthdays i can do for others, but on my daughters birthday ill always have to go away and cry at some point, which makes me feel guilty. so dont call yourself worthless hun......your not the only one who struggles with these occassions. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 8, 2009 Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sloane)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 It would seem like the most sanity preserving suggestion, but he wont listen. Much as I love the man, he truly is the most frustrating person I know He says why dont I spend xmas with his dad? Just xmas day: little more than a glorified sunday get together - hardly difficult, and I know I could manage this easily enough as there's only four of us. But then if I dont spend boxing day with his mother she's gonna feel put out - like I favour one over the other... and gods help me if I dont show up to the grandparents at new year! If only I could get hold of some valium: then I could withstand the entire season, but will my GP give me anything remotely tranquilizing?! In spite of the knowledge that previous attempts at participating in the festivities has put me into full nervous meltdown... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 thats alot of visiting to get in for anyone!!! how about suggesting you could do a flying visit to both his parents on xmas eve, and if he would prefer to spend the full xmas day and boxing day with his family he can, but that youve done your bit already? it then looks like your making an effort, but in a capacity which you will find easier to cope with too. just a suggestion though! as for hogmannay??? going to visit someones elses grandparents is probably pushing it a bit far! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Roses, you are in no way evil why even think such a thing, you are obviously feeling down today, and I hope you pick up soon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 If all you guys are running away til this stupid season is over, can i please please please please join you???? Pleeeeeease?? I'll be good! All together now - "Bah bloody humbug!!" xxxx And Roses - (((hhhhhuuuuuuuuggggggggssssfffoooooorrrrryyyyyoooooouuuuu))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 Thanks moi and Crip. xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted November 9, 2009 Report Share Posted November 9, 2009 if id have been one of the lucky buggers to have won the euromillions, i promise u crip, and everyone else, my suitcase woulda been big enuff for us all! *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 I really think that we should set up an anti-xmas sanctuary :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 10, 2009 Report Share Posted November 10, 2009 yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ima well up for that ! where do i sign and who do i pay the deposit to... ? i did try google anti xmas holidays but failed... :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 Imagine if we could book an entire hotel somewhere, and invite all of us for the duration of the festive season? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted November 11, 2009 Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 Yep - impending anxiety 4 me too.... thought you all might like this picture to represent all the bastard celebrations...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted November 11, 2009 Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 liking it sanctury! lol! that sums me up perfectly! for those of you who arent aware, "birthdays" sell black "bah humbug" santa hats...ive had mine for a few years but treated myself to a new one! lmao! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neurotica Posted November 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 lol LOVE IT! I've had that thing in my mobile phone for years :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 11, 2009 Report Share Posted November 11, 2009 missy neurotica - i think that is a fab idea. I really do. LET'S DO IT!! =) crip x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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