weasel.jem Posted November 13, 2009 Report Share Posted November 13, 2009 i failed miserably in my sanity whilst i was on holiday in new york. I could see my brain doing its usual trick and i felt like i was watching them happen from a place where i could do nothing to deal with them. i self harmed (not badly), i acted selfishly and i just wanted to go home. i felt pretty stupid and then i beat myself up when i got home about the things my partner had said to me about the way i behaved. it was my first time away after receiving my diagnosis and i hated it. No that's not right, it was 70% good and 30% surrealist nightmare. I guess i just had no time to myself. i live alone and we were sharing an apartment with my partners brother and his wife. they were having relationship difficulties and the atmosphere rubbed off on me. I tried to my mindfulness stuff, thoughts going in and then thoughts going out without attatching emotions to them but i failed. My brain went so crazy i thought my boyfriend wasn't real... glad to be home, but feeling a bit more crazy than ever, just that i have it more under wraps now. i always thought out was better than in but i guess it's not true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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