Jinxsta Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Ive, said before that have periods where I dont eat at all or eat very little, once i get into one of these states i find it very hard to get back to eating properly. Its like once I start (which I have) not eating im at complete war with my body. My body is screaming at me to eat and the more it does the more he tells me not too (he being Billy). I had group therapy monday and had to say which of the PLEASE skills I have used which is; treated PhysicaL illness, balanced Eating, off mood-Altering drugs, balanced Sleep and Exercise, so i said treated physical illness-YES, balanced eating- NO, off mood-altering drugs- YES, balanced sleep- NO, Excercise- YES....and the therapists starting probing about the fact i said no to balanced eating, and it all came out....they told me bout how it affects mood and state of mind and how I should be looking after myself coz of the physical illness i've had..... and that they are going to feed it back to my individual therapist, which was obvious, they have to do this os my asking them not to got me no-where. My T is the head of the eating disorders service aswell as DBT and helps write the NICE guidelines, which looks good from the outside but its not for me coz she KNOWS what shes talking about, and i expect its gonna be monitored and i dont want it to be.. I just need to do this, A) I really need to lose some weight and It makes me feel strong. My GF knows about it I didnt think she would get too involved, big assumption, made me eat half a chip butty monday and tried to get me to eat macaroni cheese and veg yesterday.... I ate bout third of the macaroni chesse and all the veg, which is annoying coz she knows what to use to bribe me "i'll tell ur T", "No sex" coupled with "the look" but I wont be seeing her today, so i can not eat at all today to make up for the last 2. My individual T session is tomorrow and im pretty anxious of what would have been said from group, and worried my GF would have called her too. I know I can stop this all now, by eating....but i cant, when i ate yesterday and it felt wrong like i was murdering someone or something, its a horrible feeling...dont know what to do. XxX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted November 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 hmmm now on my FB my sis has left her status as "annoyed with her fat sister"....thanks sis, gives me the strength to carry on, carry on the fucking starvation so u cant all call me fat.... fuck i thought i was just a little overweight 5 foot 6 12 stone 3, but hanks 4letting me kno init. EDIT: ok more than a little, bout 3stone overweight, little optermistic there. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Heya hun. I've read this a few times, with every intention of replying, and knowing what i want to say too, but every time i've clicked on this reply box my mind has drawn a blank and i've just clammed up. I honestly don't know what to say that could possibly be of any use, I am so sorry darl. But I want to let you know that i hear you, loud and clear. That is pretty cruel of your sister, but i think it reflects only on HER character and her issues, not on you, so i know how difficult it is, but please try not to take it to heart. Sending you great big hugs if that's okay. Love Crip xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b0bulat0r Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Hey Jinxsta I respect that everything you do or do not do should be of your own choice, its your life and your body, but I cant help reading this and being very worried. Starvation is not a good idea because it can lead to various medical problems. But especially to lose weight if you become malnurished you can actually make yourself look larger because it can cause bloating of the stomach. Dunno what to say really just please please look after yourself. *hugs* P.S you are not as fat as you imagine x Rob P.S.S I know measurements are different between men and women but I weigh more than you and i'm not any taller . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thanks to u both, its comforting to know people care... Ive lost 4Ib in a day, never thought that was possible!!! had 1 of them things done at boots yesterday and it said; weight 12 st 5Ib height 5'6.1 BMI 27.9...ideal weight8st 3Ib to 11st 1Ib ....so now i have a stone to lose to not be overweight.XxX Really appriciate ur replies. Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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