Benway Posted November 21, 2009 Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 Hey Anna I hope you might be feeling a little better. Understand if you are not tho. The was i see it, once i have brought children into the world, i can't commit suicide - this is my theory and exp., and i like you very much, and would hate to hear of anything happen to you. My kids have had enuff to deal with with my MH since no. 1 was born. and no. 2 is exibiting signs of depression at 14. I could not bear to think of the gap, the sadness i'd leave behind for them. They are about the only ppl who would miss me, mind, but they are my ONLY flesh n blood (being adopted n all) so although i have planned many times, and come within a few minutes of certain death, i was lucky that i myself could intervene and stop it. Thinking of them at my funeral- nooooooo,i could neer hurt them, i have never even hit my children. Plus the youngest would be farmed out to his g'parents in the country, which he would hate. so these are the reasons that have kept me alive at the worst of times. I am not saying you would be selfish, i am saying your kids would miss you... Anna, im not trying to guilt you over your children, im just telling you what has kept me here after years of sui ideation.(i am the same age as you, and have sui ideation since 14) Do what you gotta do- take diazepam if you need it, nobody is in a position to make judgements. You mention you not being happy in your marraige - is it viable to work around that and see where it leads? I am writing this as i care about you- and there are always answers instead of the final 'solution'. I hope i have not offended you in any way. Please take care, anne marie xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley Posted November 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 I know your right Anne Marie, It's just that when im really, really depressed, my mind plays tricks on me. I love my kids with all my heart and couldn't do that to them. It could make them think 'Mummy didn't love us enough, and that's why she chose death' ...............NO WAY! I've just remembered something actually, a social worker (who was trying to get me sectioned once) said that children who have had a parent commit suicide end up extremely damaged as a result. My argument was that living with a parent who has BPD and Bipolar damages them, he said, no where near as much as your suicide would! So yeah, I can talk sense now, but in the pit's of deep depression, I kinda loose all that stuff. I am not offended, I am gratefull for reminding me why suicide is NOT an option. Take Care Anna xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted November 21, 2009 Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 kids who have a parent who commit suicide are at a much higher risk of suicide themselves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ella92 Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Think about that one person you truly love and how much it will hurt them to lose you. It's not the solution.... Even if I have gone through hard times, I am still convinced that some day, some time, my time will come when I will be happy just like anybody else, that I will see the light. So no matter what, keep hoping and never think about suicide Hope you feel better really soon It's the only answer. Isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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