wabbit Posted July 16, 2004 Report Share Posted July 16, 2004 I have a neighbor who is 16. She has schizoaffective disorder. Her mom spends most of her time at her boyfriends house so she is essentially alone alot. The girl, lets call her Julie, has a million boyfriends, ppl that are not good for her, although they do keep her company. Julie also has a 12 year old cousin that spends a lot of time over there too. Last night her one friend was over and they were smoking pot, Julie cant smoke it cause she is allergic to it, but she can still get a buzz. This is the first that I knew about them smoking pot, I was not happy. The boyfriend is 19 and legally able to do what he wants, within the law. First of all, this boyfriend is no good for Julie, but then when I found out that he was supplying pot I didnt like him even more. The kid is 12 years old fer heavens sake. He could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I am going to warn him that if he brings pot around her again, I am calling the cops. That if he is even high around her again I am calling the cops. I will not enable them. My husband wont even buy them cigarettes, I am surely not going to allow pot. And I know they arent doing it in my house, and I know that she isnt my kid, but someone has to look out for them cause the mother surely isnt. The way that this mother treats her daughter is a trigger for me. I bugs the crap outta me, and it should. Am I doing the right thing? Please dont tell me to stay out of it, because that isnt going to happen. Any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 16, 2004 Report Share Posted July 16, 2004 Wabbit, Can u call Childrens Protective Services annonomusly? Reporting her mother and the boy friend? Something needs to be done I agree but if you turn the boyfriend in and she knows it you may loose your only chance to help her. What the hell is a 19 year old doing with a 12 year old anyway. Sorry i am not to smart right now so i can only hope others can offer you much better advice. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 Hi, *hugs* I dont know what to say to help the situation but i am here if u ever want to talk bout stuff. She is not ur kid but u need to get some service involved to help the kids. Tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytales817 Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 I am going to say that I do agree with you... but I also agree with Betsy. If she knows it's you who turns in the boyfriend, you may lose all chance of helping her anymore. If the risk is letting it go or losing the friendship... if you feel there is no other way of getting the pot-head out of there, I would just do whatever I could... even if I did lose her trust. At least he would be out of there. But then again, who knows who else would replace him. This is a delicate situation. It's hard to stop once you start, so even if the current problems (the boyfriend and the pot) are gone, then she'll still replace them with another boyfriend and a different source of pot. She needs you. She needs someone to help her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanieD116 Posted July 18, 2004 Report Share Posted July 18, 2004 Wabbit, Let me tell you from experience, unless child protection catches them in the act, there's nothing they can do. I had a day care in my home 8 years ago and had two little brothers - 5 & 3 - that could barely talk and still wore diapers. Their mother was young and as time went by, I realized that these were very bright boys that just needed someone to spend some time with them. They always arrived in filthy clothes and starving. I'd wash their clothes and pick up good deals for them when I could to have extra pieces at my home to change them into. I fed them all three meals and snacks and they devoured their food with their hands as if it was their last meal. After some time, I got in contact with their grandmother who enlightened me to their home life. They would sit on their steps on the weekends crying to come to my house - not wanting to be at home. Their mother would stack two baby gates ontop of each other in their door way to keep them in their rooms at night. She didn't potty train them b/c it was too much of a hassel having to take them to the bathroom and having to clean up accidents. The oldest boy would stuff food (any food - cooked or raw) under his mattress b/c he wasn't sure when he was getting fed again. He would arrive with ant bites in his diaper area - along with diaper rash because of the food under his mattress. I had had enough after many terrible incidents - bruises - cuts - some were from being a little boy - but some were obviously not. I witnessed her yanking them up by the arm and hitting anything in the path of her hand - their bottom, legs, or back - and they were being punished b/c of her anger - not for what they did. They were such good boys. So I called child services - and they made two surprised visits to the trailor - and each time, there was food in the frig - the place was a disaster - and the kids were playing outside. And there was nothing they could do. I still pray for those boys - that they find a chance in life. I'm one to interfere when it comes to children. I don't care if it's my business or not. Those children are on loan to us! And it takes more than one set of parents to raise a child. If it's put on your heart to act in protection - then act! Yes, many negative things can happen as a result - but many good things can happen as well and that's the most important =0) And that's my 2 cents - for all it's worth. Lanie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallenangyl Posted July 18, 2004 Report Share Posted July 18, 2004 hi, i personally would want to intervein, but i think that turning the boyfriend in might be a bad move, like some others have said, the girl may see that as taking away someone who means something to her, and therefore any more attempts at helping her may be wasted, can you call in social services (or the equivilant wherever you are) and explain your concerns, then see what happens.... i hope you manange to get some help to her before its too late take care leigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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