hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 my friend was making a potato in the micro wave and was stabbing it with a fork and somehow managed to get the fork embedded in his forehead! He now has a row of 4 little dots on his forehead *giggle* He's not the fizziest can in the fridge lol How on EARTH .... that one deserves a darwin award I think ... :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Hmmm. Ross?? In pub. Toilet lid, cubicle door, faucet. Fractured skull. And i've broken every finger at least once, the one that puzzles me the mostest is that i somehow managed to break my little finger by picking up a fork from the table in front of me. There was just a deafening crack. I've also broken a finger while pulling my Doc Marten's on, cause i got it caught in the Air Wear tag at the back. The rest were all either sports injuries or drunken mishaps. Fractured neck in three places (swam into a wall in a gala after some prat grabbed my ankle - and i was too busy trying to kick them in the face... I mean, kick their hand away... ... that i didn't think to look for the wall until i was right next to it. Collar bone made contact with wall. I was doing backstroke. Broken wrist falling off the toilet. Dislocated kneecap the same way another time. Thought it would be funny to headbutt a friend in the stomach a little while ago... It was really funny as i was charging at them. Until they turned round, and i ploughed my face into their backpack. Which had 6 BIIG hardback books in. I broke my nose, and got a hairline fracture on my cheekbone. My friends decided now would be a good time to sing back at me the song that i had bugged them all with constantly, as it was my ringtone. All i heard for days and days and days was their version of Pixies' "Broken Face". I still get greeted occasionally with "How's your broken face?" At least it's a good song. That's all i can be bothered to type up for now. xxxx OMG loool I knew u would have some classics Its sorta sad really, cuz thats all SOOO much pain, that I feel bad to laugh.. shouldnt really, poor crippie You sound a bit like me, like your bones are a bit chalky. My friends used to call me Mr glass cuz I broke so much stuff, and you have beaten me by several bones. Awwwww But at least ur a pixies fan Awww now I wanna wrap u up in a very padded bunny outfit with integrated crash helmet and side impact protection system. And an airbag Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 I once put a contact lense in my eye without neutralising the hydrogen peroxide disinfectant in it. I actually went blind for a few seconds and then when my site came back it was just PAIN. And I had a very red eye for a while. OUCH Acid in the eyeball DOH!! **cornea singes** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Age 14 walking dog on lead whilst wearing roller skates i though was a good idea to walk along a lil pointed fence... guess what... it wasnt dog saw its friend and scarpered, pulling me off wall and scraping my leg down the fence as i fell bruise all down length of leg from knee to ankle and big gashy hole which has scarred v nicely... Age 15 shutting back door, skidded on lino and fell through glass pane... cut up hand - 26 stitches in a neat curly type scar flying fragment also cut face and foot, also kinda a neat scar... Age summat like 5-6 lying on floor reading comic, got stalked by cat who pounced and attacked me (she was going a lil wild and schitzo) long scar on left face cheek Age 4 ish jumping up and down on mum's bed, tripped and cracked lip open on headboard. had stitches, which i pulled out myself so it healed with a bad scar i worked in a butchery department when i was at 6th form and i have numerous scars from ligitimate knife cuts all over hands... and a couple years ago i sliced top of finger with a die press cutter i was carrying without wearing gloves... they tried to fix with sterri strips but it didnt work so i pulled the flap of skin off - guess what - neat scar... so far i have never broke anything... but there's still time... Urgh I feel all woozy now after that slashy gore fest lol. I ts like nightmare on Chit street urgghhhh *faints* Sounds like there are two types of injury proneness, breaky injury and slashy injury You seem to have had more than your fair share of slashy ... do you still have 8 pints of blood in there or are u down to your last cupful? :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 lmao cant stop laughing after reading all your replies! I remember a few things i have done... 1) waiting in corridor ready to go up on pysch unit didnt want to go seen a door decided to make a run (really thought i could get away) until i ran straight into the bloody door and knock myself to the floor ... never heard police laugh so much! 2) had my rollerscates on and my auntie had this big step outside her back door and i thought i would stand on it and knock on the door just as i was about to knock she opend the door ( i was leaning on it) and well i deffo made an entrance! 3) this was the other night i ran upstairs in the dark thinking my bedroom door was open and well it wasnt and i ran straight into it and winded myself! BOY DO I HAVE ISSUES WITH DOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glass doors are sent from somewhere bad to try us ... I hope the police were nice to u after that, for givin them a laugh U should team up with crippie, u2 would make a great comedy act :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Ohhh, everyone's stories are making me giggle. What a grand idea for a thread! Thankyouu!! xxx Lolz yeah I only started it to make me feel better about biting an unbiteable part of me mouth ... now its taken on a life of its own lol Hope u still wearin bunny outfit and helmet on nice and tight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 D'awrrr Ross. You are more than welcome to laugh at my misfortunes, please don't feel bad. I laugh at them too!! *waits to be fitted for very padded bunny outfit* How is your mouth, anyway? Or should i not have drawn your attention to it? - If so, sorry! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Reading the repetitive mention of the words "I was on my rollerskates" makes me think that perhaps we should all be banned from wearing them in future..... .....and talking of skates. I used to LOVE ice skating and could do some neat stuff until I ran off onto the ice head first as usual, skated off at a great speed and round a corner and wweeeeeee my legs both came right out from under me (they said it was combo of ice just being polished and blunt skates). I went straight down on my left hip and had to be stretchered off the ice and sent for x-rays. Luckily it was not broken but I had the bruise on my hip for such a long time I had my first tattoo to cover it up ROFL, it's prolly still there! And it still hurts sometimes. SKATES = BAD :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 D'awrrr Ross. You are more than welcome to laugh at my misfortunes, please don't feel bad. I laugh at them too!! *waits to be fitted for very padded bunny outfit* How is your mouth, anyway? Or should i not have drawn your attention to it? - If so, sorry! Nah its ok, still hurts when I eat choccie for some reason, which prolly means I shouldnt eat choccie, but I mean, why would I do that? lol Mabbe one of those ZORB things would keep you safe, yanno like those huge plastic inflatable balls you get inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Awrrr hunni! ((((Roses)))) I agree though - Avoid skates at all costs!! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Reading the repetitive mention of the words "I was on my rollerskates" makes me think that perhaps we should all be banned from wearing them in future..... .....and talking of skates. I used to LOVE ice skating and could do some neat stuff until I ran off onto the ice head first as usual, skated off at a great speed and round a corner and wweeeeeee my legs both came right out from under me (they said it was combo of ice just being polished and blunt skates). I went straight down on my left hip and had to be stretchered off the ice and sent for x-rays. Luckily it was not broken but I had the bruise on my hip for such a long time I had my first tattoo to cover it up ROFL, it's prolly still there! And it still hurts sometimes. SKATES = BAD Oh yeah, and skateboards too. Far too many things broken due to the childish pursuit of speed before driving licence and seatbelts HAving said that my worst injury was done was I was 28 so mabbe I dont have a leg to stand on. Well I do, it was my back I hurt, not me leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Ermmmmm, Ross? One of those zorb things that i get STUCK inside? For an entire hour. Before anyone even BEGINS to question why the stupid little goth kid is screaming and shouting and bawling her eyes out?? The very same?? LOL Yeahhh, that was meeeee. heh heh heh Why the hell not, ehy?! I only ended up with a fractured wrist from where the man-handled me outta there. Seriously. =\ Gosh, i'm so cool. PS. worry not! I shall eat your choc for you!! What are friends for, ehy?! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 OMG crippie Thats awful ... what the hell did he do to get you out? Use a truck?? Do u have like brittle bone thingie? Aww u were a little goth kid lol thats cute, black eye make up at 6 :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 i have many many more roller skate incidents - comes of living near a skate park i guess... roller skaing on uneven pavement = bad idea too... and all mum cared about was that i ruined a good pair of socks - i would heal, they wouldn't ah... the follies of youth - i have a hankering to do summat reckless now tho... hmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 LMAO! He just grabbed me and PULLED!! ...but failed to notice that my arm was in a stupid twisty position over one leg, under the other, with my hand flapping round near the back of my knee as i tried to calm myself down. THAT was painful when they had to reposition it at the hosp. =\ I think the use of a truck would have ultimately been safer, to be honest. And noooo i don't ( think i do ). I think i really am just a complete clutz. And a bit of an idiot, too, cause i do stuff that is obv dangerous just for shits 'n' giggles. Basically, i'm the 18 yr old female version of Jackass, Dirty Sanchez (minus all the ball-fiddly stuff obviously), Balls of Steel, & You've Been Framed, plus any other dumbass shows, all rolled into one. =) Now my ego feels all fat and podgy. lol And yes, a little goth kid. =) I'm gunna have to scoot anyways, but catch you lot later. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 OMG crippie Thats awful ... what the hell did he do to get you out? Use a truck?? Ok, now I am really proper laughing out loud!! This thread is so fucking funny!!! Talk about a load of calamity joe's and jane's.. and oh yeah, broke my wrist on bloody skates!! LOVE the comment about speed before license and seatbelts!! So true!! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Instead of padded suits and inflatable ball things can I please humbly request to be fitted into a RUSS ABBOTT suit!!!!!!!!! I used to love watching them bounce off each other.... :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayz Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 my friend was making a potato in the micro wave and was stabbing it with a fork and somehow managed to get the fork embedded in his forehead! He now has a row of 4 little dots on his forehead *giggle* He's not the fizziest can in the fridge lol How the heck did your friend manage that lmfao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted November 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Instead of padded suits and inflatable ball things can I please humbly request to be fitted into a RUSS ABBOTT suit!!!!!!!!! I used to love watching them bounce off each other.... That sounds like Its a Knockout ... hmmmmmm **raids childhood telly memory banks** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vasquez Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 my friend was making a potato in the micro wave and was stabbing it with a fork and somehow managed to get the fork embedded in his forehead! He now has a row of 4 little dots on his forehead *giggle* He's not the fizziest can in the fridge lol How on EARTH .... that one deserves a darwin award I think ... Lol, i was there and even i don't know how the bloody hell he managed it! But oh god...i have never laughed so much in my life! XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 ...Thought at 16 whiskey would make a substitute lubricant... hmmm ill spare u the details. Done the glass door one, at about 11 trying to beat my cousins to the arcade in disneyland...yeah sprint leap into the arcade...but no smack bang glass door. Have an almost accident; was 16 me and my friend rented a studio appartment, kitchen in the front room kinda place, had asked her to get me some beers....shes buys me lynx, had never drank them before...ended up asleep, thats the last i remember I am awoken to "Lou, what are u doing???" i open my eyes, its still dark, theres an electric cooker ontop of me (one of the old style ones with swirly hobs) all hobs on glowing red inches away from my skin, trousers and pants round my ankles, covered in grease from the oven. We never worked out what i had been trying to do, trying to fuck the oven.... if i was a guy i would say i was trying to put a bun in the oven lol. We always said...if the oven had been gas... we wouldnt be alive to tell the tale. My friend threw a lighter into a bonfire... obviously it exploded and somehow caught her leg on fire. I tried to walk up the bannister instead of the CONCTRETE stairs then the bannister snapped...got off with a split knee. Tried to run out psych ward, smack bang into locked door...staright on my back...pool of blood from back of my head....boy did the staff panic. Ice skating pissed also...broken scalfoid. xxX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 nice to see we can all keep the medical professionals busy with just more than the usual MH stuff.... laughing too much at this thread... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 i reckon this thread could do with a bit of a bump.... it's an oldie, but they're some of the best, right? So, here's some of my more recent ones. It's fair to say that I still don't get on with bathrooms..... split my knee open yesterday in town simply by turning round to help logan get...positioned... to go to the loo. Shut fingers in the door at the same pub as the cistern-butting incident, they turned a really sexy shade of...erm... black. At Bs, i was trailing my blanket with me from the sofa (had been all curled up under it with a book), knew it was a dumb thing to do even at the time. Didn't stop me. Arse over tit and gave me nose a good bash on the floor. Just laid there, stunned, for a while til B came and practically hoisted me upright. I've fractured my wrist by opening a door. Literally, just opening a door. Pushed the handle down, crrrrrrack, and painpainpainnnn. I've got a beautiful bloodshot eye from laughing the other day and going to push my hair out my face.... instead, i stuck my thumb in my eye. That wasn't pleasant. Tripped over the dog at my mums and ended up faceplanting his plastic bed. As if that wasn't enough, the ginger mutt decided he was gunna bounce up and down, tail wagging, panting his happy friggin little pant that he does, tongue lolling.... would have been much cuter if he hadn't been bouncing up and down on my spine. In town last week, was wandering along just fine, think i even had a smile on my face, and was most definately singing a song under my breath..... then blam. Flat on the floor in the middle of the road. Leg just gave out under me. Wonderful! have some real unflattering bruises to show from that, and they reall hurt still, but plus side - i didn't even realise there was a medical room in the shopping centre. I got a cup of tea and a biccie there and a good hour to chill too. Think I'll stop now. anyone else feel like bringing this topic back to life? Could do with a few giggles, and would be great to know am not alone in my clutzishness. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 oh, i can't stop now. There's been a bit of debate recently, following me getting a firm diagnosis of M.E (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) between my mum, her partner, and my nana, about whether i'm okay to do stuff that usually results in injuries for me, part down to being a clutz right down to my bones, part to do with general headfogginess and being a complete scatterbrain. I thought, "i'll prove to you i'm fine, i'm capable", and told them so. Little while later, toddled off upstairs for a shower. I do this thing where i put a stool in the bath under the shower spray, cause my legs lock, cramp, and do other nasty stuff that results in me falling/slipping over. So, put it in the shower, stepped in, started to sit down. And down. And down. And further down still. Turns out cleverclogs me had set the stool in the shower just fine, if you ignore the fact that it was upside down, legs pointing skywards. Got a very sore bruise on my bum through that, still hurts to sit down. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted June 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 Awww crip Ouchies. Has anyone ever mentioned dyspraxia, and maybe having brittle bones? Sorry to be medical and that, I just wanna replace your skellington with adamantium :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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