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I Am Not Ready


anastasia

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i told my psych this yesterday

i am not ready for therapy

i am not ready to open up the stuff they say i am supressing and i dont want to feel

i'm just not ready

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It's so hard, to open up to a person sitting there, judging you, writing stuff down. Very intimidating, makes me want to shut off too, which is why i dont go to therapy even though i really need it.

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I felt the same way but things got so critical in my life I kinda had to give it a go.

For me its a hard slog - I trust no one and share very little, but, very slowly and patiently, on behalf of the therapist, I am able to discuss things abit more and it is useful to have some greater insight into my issues.

It has taken ages, though. And it is not easy at all.

Could you not try it for a bit???

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  • 1 month later...

think you'll find i never made any comments about whether you should stya in therapy or not and at the end of it all, i'm not going to therapy cos i know i wnt acheive much from it the way i am right now.

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thats the most self aware thing youve ever said... well done... perhaps you do have some insight after all... just not enough to empathise because you're clearly still in massive denial. good luck.

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you know what sanctuary, i realise a lot more than you lot give me credit for!

you're right, i'm not very good at empathising with people. if you;ve read some of my more recent posts you would have seen this already and i've even said it (sorry i'm about to swear here). i know i've got problems that i have to address but i'm not ready to address them cos i'm not stable. i need to be stable before i can think about addressing the bpd cos the bipolar is the biggest issue for me right now. after all, i've made it to this age with bpd so a few more months / years won't matter.

but that doesn't mean you can beat me up just because i said something that you got upset over.

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DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL.... you just coined the phrase that was probably drifting somewhere in someone's mouth about to say it to me. Think yourself lucky there are people here who have me with my same wrath... only I have to say I think you've handled it prett fucking marvellously. Thanks fr that. I mean that.. for what its worth!

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Don;t believe the 'hype' about BPD....

Believing I wass manipulative and attention seeking and all that crap was invalidating and doesnt reflect the truth.

Square up the bastard things you think you've done and you'll find you had very valid fucking reasons....

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