toaster Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Okilies went to the dietician today. Spoke my 'pattern' of starving then bingeing. I was honest and told her I like looking ill etc. She weighed me but I didn't want to know, got kind of upset. She spoke to me about the effects of starving myself etc. I was shocked that social withdrawal and lack of personal care was in there, I saw straight away what has happened to me. I was also shocked by the physical symptons of tingling hands and feet - I get this a lot and it's me being malnourished. I've come away with lots of info. I am going to try an start a small structured diet on Monday, set meal times, set menu. I am going to tackle my kitchen over the weekend so I can cook. And it's ok if I have days where I can't cope and slip. I am allowed to keep eating my cheese strings I am allowed to avoid 'trigger' foods for now, foods I binge on. I have very mixed emotions. I'm somewhat excited, the idea of routine, structure, still having the control I crave yet it being positive. I'm fucking terrified as well. Scared of weight gain, scared of failure, scared of bein a fraud, scared of 'getting well'. Lots of tears, both happy and sad, overwhelmed. All in all I see today as a positive. I felt at risk after the appointment so went to see an old friend from group, so managed my risk. I'll keep posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy love you i believe in you... you have done so good... keep us posted Chipssssssssssss x xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 proud of u toasst xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 I am soooo happy for you. First off, well done for even showing up! As for letting yourself be weighed and talking honestly about your issues, you are a FUCKING GOD!!!!!! You really do rock sister and fair play to you with the kitchen, I know you'll sort it out. Tomorrow is the first day of the REST OF YOUR LIFE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Sounds like a great start. Good luck with it all . xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted November 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 thanx guys (((((((((((((((((hugs-u-all)))))))))))))))))))))) im so bloody scared lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Good luck Toasty (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) Just remember this phrase 'Little steps can lead you a long way' Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 yay toast, i'm so proud of you. Not only did you see the dietician but you are also taking her words on board and working towards recovery. With an ED is it soooo difficult. Aw, i'm justa burstin' with pride xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystalli Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 Oh,, thats so lovely to read :)x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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