?lost?

[susierose]

I am so lost, I don't know who i am, I have been brining up my two children now they are needing me less due to growing up, I don't know anything else. I'm a empty shell, full of nothing. I had my daughter at 18 and before that i was very destructive to myself and lived for other to use me. Now im 41 and feeling that negative feeling again. I don't care if i live or die. Dose anyone else feel or ever felt like that?.

[Dawn W]

Hi Suzie

It's so hard when your role in life suddenly seems to disappear. However although your children need you less now, they are still always going to need you in their lives, you are always going to be their mother. I think it's wonderful the way you say that motherhood changed you - it gives you a sense of purpose and identity, but, as we know, not everybody rises to the challenge of motherhood the way you have clearly done and that in itself is such a credit to you.

Before you had kids did you have interests or ambitions that perhaps you could start to pay more attention to now that you have a little more time? I've got two kids and struggled at first with them not needing me as much, but I began to see new opportunities opening up around me, that is not to say that I don't have days when I feel like you do and I don't want to underestimate the pain that you are in right now. I hope you can start to feel a little better about this and go easy on yourself. Time to take a little more care of you perhaps?

[just.me]

I think we all feel like that at somepoint, in your case it is a natural feeling, all parents experience it when all they have done for so many years is bring up their children, and when the children start needing them less,they feel lost, like *what do I do now*.

Now you get your life back, you find a life for you, you join social clubs, go bingo, pubbing, make new friends, and carve out your life.

You fill the void with things you want to do and not things you have to do.

[lpater]

That's exactly how I'm feeling too xx