ragdoll Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 ive just realised that im scared of my bpd and what it is doing to my life. it is destroying me and everything about me. yes im down but it doesnt mean that people have the right to kick you when youre down. maybe its reverse psychology i dont know, but its not working for me, it makes me feel worse. im supossed to be having a breakfast party thing tommorrow for my birthday. i dont want to go. but my aunt has gone to a lot of trouble to arrange it. ill have to put on a happy face and pretend but i know the tears will hit and that will be the end of it for me. the stronger i try the weaker i get, the more i try to hold on the looser my grip gets. i feel like im lettiing go of what ever it is is left and that is not much, just a job, a job where the ppl dont know about the bpd and what it does to me. what am i gonna do. i cnat seem to get anywhere right now and im trying so hard. im scared that he is right that i wont get well. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 you have made it before and your make it again rag, you have been through much worse and im sure this wont beat you!. tc xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 *hugs* it is scarey, birthdays always terrife me and i dunno y. You will b ok and things will prolly seem better one day soon but i know it doesnt seem like it now. Take care and remember there are people here who care bout u. Tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 just eat all the food and enjoy it... its your birthday so party hardy... order lots and lots and eat it all... on your birthday you are intitled to eat anything you want and the calories wont count... i promise bets PS ~~~~happy birthday girl~~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted July 17, 2004 Report Share Posted July 17, 2004 i can identify with how you are feeling. like the others have said you have got through it before and you will again. happy birthday, i really hope you can enjoy it. flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytales817 Posted July 18, 2004 Report Share Posted July 18, 2004 Ah I do know the feeling. My whole life I hated birthdays. Acctually, I would usually run off on my birthdays because thinking about them scared the living crap out of me. Just marking another year of nothing. It screwy cause kids are supposed to love birthdays... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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