Paris Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 it seems people avoid chat when i am in there............. ok........ your choice but tell me the reasons why and i dont mean cop out answers like youre triggering etc cos thats bollox, if im so "triggering" report me!!! end of!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Are you sure that is the case? or could that just be how you see it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 i can honestly say ive never avoided u in chat hun sorry u feel people do this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 They avoid because you talk about suicide, tell us that you have just this minute taken 40 tablets, and say things like "oh fuck it I am off to cut". They don't report you because they feel sorry for you. And because they don't want to get involved in the hassle. They want to help you but sometimes rather than report you and possibly be responsible for you getting a suspension from the site, they prefer to protect themselves emotionally by staying away. Because all of us here are fragile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 If this thread turns into an interpersonal dispute, am going to invisible it and ban those involved for 12 hours. This is a Mental Health Forum where people come to get help, they don't come here to see bitch feasts on a daily basis, because two friends have fallen out. You have a problem sort it out off the boards, not on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Make your mind up. You tell us we can post. Then you tell us we can't. And I ain't bitching. There are no personal insults here. I have simply answered her question. There is no criticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anastasia Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 i have to admit, i do sometimes go right out of chat when paris is in there. i find it very ahrd controlling my impulses and knowing that paris is there and that 9 times out of 10 (or maybe 8) she's going to be in crisis and saying about jumping in front of trains / cutting / has taken an overdose, for my own sanity i just find it easier to go. that said, there are other people who, if they are there alone, i will log out too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Data you directed your comments at Paris, it was a tad on the aggresive side to say the least. Pair of you need your heads banging together you do. Either ignore each other or make up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autism-bpd Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Hi Paris, i didnt see you online. I only usually go on live chat if i see people on active and what i do is scroll down to the bottom of the main page of Mental Health forums and see whos active in the live chat. If i dont see any one there then i don't go in. sorry i never even saw u, but also i keep falling asleep. I am sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Hi Paris Id like to say that although I am not triggered by SI type stuff and so cannot relate to that part, I do find you likeable and fun and wouldnt avoid you out of principle. I can understand people wanting to avoid being SI triggered, but I dont think you are someone I would avoid just because you are you. I just wanted to separate the 'who you are' issues from the 'things you might have done' ones. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Data - sorry about my post, was a bit harsh on reading it back. You are only answering what Paris asked, and I jumped the gun with my reply. Real sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted December 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 umm i dont like this "im going to ban you for 12 hours if it carries on" umm where have i argued with anyone?? where have i broken the terms? tad power hungry there! i was in huge crisis beyond belief and was desperate the past few weeks, it only had to take one person to report me for doing this chat and im quite sure something would have been done, i do not like bein told people avoid chat cos of me rachel- you dont even know me so i hardly think you avoid chat cos of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Data - sorry about my post, was a bit harsh on reading it back. You are only answering what Paris asked, and I jumped the gun with my reply. Real sorry. Thanks for your apology. I am honestly not trying to come across as aggressive towards anyone. All I am doing is saying how I feel, and what I have seen with my eyes and heard with my ears. However if some people don't want to hear that then I accept that I might be best moving on and avoiding them.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Paris I apologised that apology should have been directed to you to, sorry - I was too harsh, besides, it is not down to me. Just not fair on others specially newbies to see constant bickering, and back biting. I know you have been in crisis, and have constantly supported you throughout. Have no idea about chat, ventured there last night for a bit, only my second visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted December 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 you see i think i cant do anything right i make fun posts and get told newbies will feel excluded, i make angry posts and get told newbies will feel excluded i cannot win!!! thanks for apology for that tho sioux, im still bemused tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayz Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Paris, i like you for who you are. wouldnt change anything about you, i enjoy talking too you.. you are caring, kind, funny, intelligant. if i am feeling bad you text me too see how i am , i appriecate that alot and it makes me smile too know someone cares. love ya hun xx here for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 paris, i dont go in chat so cant help there, but i think you or anyone else should say whatever they need to in posts, just as long as no ones being intentionally goading to others or breaking rules, which clearly you arnt. all your posts are welcome, even if they are difficult ones, if thats how you feel thats how you feel and its ok to put here tcxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 hi paris i dont have access to chat, but definately dont avoid any of ur posts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted December 13, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 thankyou for people who ave supported me here, i get the bigger picture now *remembers not to talk when she goes in chat* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 *remembers not to talk when she goes in chat* Or just dont go in there... I find it quite puzzling how out of everything said this is your response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i dont avoid u hun. loves ya xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 *remembers not to talk when she goes in chat* You not talk sod that, I'll find away of making you talk thn when you come in chat ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i have never left because you or anyone else is in chat. I like you a lot, though i am sure you know that, however i have seen you be very agressive and attack other people on many occasions, when you have read something in what they have said that the rest of us could not see, and the person themselves have said was not their intention. I would imagine those people prefer to avoid you so as not to be attacked again, not that they don't like you but are fearful of the behaviour. I am pretty sure also that those that don't like conflict might also avoid being there for that reason and even witnesses to it might be scared that they will be next. Although many of us agree that we ahould feel free to discuss how we feel, it may feel that when they do so you take offence and belittle them by becoming agressive and attacking. Where some may understand your intentions and be tolerant and patient of this kin dof behavior, others are bound to try to protect themselves from it. Also some may feel talking about how you feel is one thing, but outright breaking of rules, being disrespectful of others, talking about current self harm or sui is something they don't want to be a part of. Due to compassion for you they don't want to ask you to stop talking these things or report you so instead they choose to leave so you can talk and get support. That is what i perceive anyway and my perception could be wrong, but if it is right then thoae people may also be fearful of responding to this topic to give their reasons. Love you, please don't take offence from this, am trying to help you. Perhaps by seeing others perpectives it could heelp you in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Paris is a very emotional person (like me!). From my perspective though, the positives of being a friend of hers far outweigh the negatives. One or two people (!) may be aware that we recently had an argument. Apart from this one rare occasion, she accepts me for what I am, without judging me. She listens to me. She is intelligent and seems to understand me and she understands mental health issues. Paris has stuck by me in the past when a lot of people have turned away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i agree that those that have got to know paris gain more positive than negative and it is most likely those that leave are those that have not experienced the positive, constructive side of her and only the negative side hence why they may feel fearful of the behaviour. For me personally i can see and understand the pain that causes the reactions and so don't feel a need to protect myself from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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