Data Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I agree with what Like Me is saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Paris....i think you are a truely fantastic person, you have helped me so much in the past and i appreciate it more than you will ever know, we come here for help and support and we are supposed to do just that, help each other through, just like you do to so many others. If ppl leave chat bcos of you then frankly in my opinion their too selfish to support you, too wrapped up in themselves to try and help somebody else, i dont believe in this *triggering* crap i think thats complete bollox, were mentally ill not idiots just bcos someone may talk of sh doesnt mean we will all suddenly run off and do it!! Its utter crap. If you ever need me you know where i am, i will always listen to you, and to those who dont take the time to talk/help paris in my opinion your not worth knowing. Chin up huni xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i dont believe in this *triggering* crap i think thats complete bollox, were mentally ill not idiots just bcos someone may talk of sh doesnt mean we will all suddenly run off and do it!! Its utter crap. Can you back that up with some statistics? Whilst I do not and never have SH, I do believe that people do have triggers. My BPD has a trigger, when I am depressed there are triggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I do not believe in it as i have never experianced it, if it is so that someone talking about sh makes another want to do it, is it so hard to say sorry your feeling unable to participate in the convo, no offence to anyone. Is that really so hard?? What are we here kids!!! Do we not have bigger issues in our lives?? I have and do sh but not because someone else is!!! Its because of my own reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted December 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 totally takes on everything on board here, lickme - wise wise words and makes total sense!! yes i have been horrible recently but i will make the effort now not to go in chat if all i am going to do is be negative and aggressive! having said that at times- rare yes but at times i think people forget we all have our own issues which is why we are here and sometimes we may need people to be straight with us and say hey chill etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Having just searched the internet to check to see if triggers are a load of old bollox, I actually found that they are not. Self-harmers do have triggers. Just because neither you or I do it does not make it bollox when someone else does. As you have not experienced it, do not do it, and have no knowledge of it you have no basis upon which to comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I did not say i dont selfharm i said i do but for my own reasons and i also did not say sh is bollox, if your going to try and be clever in ur replys at least read the post first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocean Wolf Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 their too selfish to support you, too wrapped up in themselves to try and help somebody else, I am sorry you feel this is a bad thing. I think it is good that people are focusing on their own recovery first. After all, one can support someone else better when they take care of themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 their too selfish to support you, too wrapped up in themselves to try and help somebody else, I am sorry you feel this is a bad thing. I think it is good that people are focusing on their own recovery first. After all, one can support someone else better when they take care of themselves. Yes i understand what your saying and i agree with you, i was maybe abit rash in writing that but i dont think its hard to explain why your leaving when feeling unable to deal with the convo, instead of fuelling somebodys anxiety further by just leaving. Its not nice to feel your being avoided Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 so then soph, if the public say they don't believe in mental health issues or depression as they have not experienced it and so ypu are making it all up then all is well right? Triggered does not always mean they go and self harm, it can mean any negative emotion, self destructive behaviour or mental health symptom has been triggered. It could be that flashbacks are triggered, or painful memories or feelings of despair or depression. For example when three people in one night not only talked of sui but told me they had taken an od, and at a time when i myself was unable to cope and not very stable, left all night worrying as to whethwr they had receives any help or were laying dead somewhere i was teiggwred into high anxiety levels, unable to sleep or eat or think about anything else. This later turned into me feeling that my own feelings were of no concern to anyone else and that i was alone only to be used for others support. So yes i was highly triggered and sunk into a period of depression. Sa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 so then soph, if the public say they don't believe in mental health issues or depression as they have not experienced it and so ypu are making it all up then all is well right? Triggered does not always mean they go and self harm, it can mean any negative emotion, self destructive behaviour or mental health symptom has been triggered. It could be that flashbacks are triggered, or painful memories or feelings of despair or depression. For example when three people in one night not only talked of sui but told me they had taken an od, and at a time when i myself was unable to cope and not very stable, left all night worrying as to whethwr they had receives any help or were laying dead somewhere i was teiggwred into high anxiety levels, unable to sleep or eat or think about anything else. This later turned into me feeling that my own feelings were of no concern to anyone else and that i was alone only to be used for others support. So yes i was highly triggered and sunk into a period of depression. Sa Im sorry you had to go through that and felt so alone...i myself have never triggered. I do self harm alot but i have never been triggered into doing it! Reading what you have said i believe you are right and that its not that i dont believe in triggering, i just have never experianced it. I just dont see why ppl cant say why their leaving b4 they leave so others dont get upset. were all supposed to help each other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Soph You said that those who say they are triggered into self harming is bollox. My point is it is not bollox at all, you have no way of knowing what can trigger one person from the next, just because it does not trigger you, does not mean it does not happen. People don't make things up, why would they? Your post came across as if you were poo pooing what had been said by others, that they were triggered. You cannot hand on heart say that, because you ;- Do not experience that yourself Have not been there and witnessed any of the discussions at the time Your post was grossly unfair to those who said they were triggered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Whether people agree or not, talking bout active self-harm or suicide is against the rules of this site and I am not surprised people are feeling uncomfortable around Paris considering how she has behaved. But Paris is on a learning curve like the rest of us and she is only human. We all make mistakes and I believe Paris is doing her best to learn and to grow in her life and I support her 100% in her efforts. But it is only right that people put themselves first above anyone else on here, and if me, they, whoever feels uncomfortable then leaving chat and not reading a person's posts is a mature and sensible precaution to protect themselves from triggering situations. Sorry, but as I've said before, I will always put my family and myself above anyone else's needs and that is healthy and the way it should be. Love and light. Roses xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 saying u don't believe in ppl being triggered is very invalidating of others feelings and although i take responsibility for my own triggers, hence why i took a step back and stopped reading posts for a while, attacking people when they do choose to remove themselves from triggering situations is a tad on the harsh side. You say they should explain themselves first before leaving so as to show consideration for the person they are protwcting themselves from, but is that person having the same respect and consideration for them when talkink about those triggering - yes i said triggering subjects? Or is it one rule for one person and another for someone else? And i've seen the reaction when someone says they can't handle that type of convo and they are attacked for it so the only option that is left for them is to leave in silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Soph You said that those who say they are triggered into self harming is bollox. My point is it is not bollox at all, you have no way of knowing what can trigger one person from the next, just because it does not trigger you, does not mean it does not happen. People don't make things up, why would they? Your post came across as if you were poo pooing what had been said by others, that they were triggered. You cannot hand on heart say that, because you ;- Do not experience that yourself Have not been there and witnessed any of the discussions at the time Your post was grossly unfair to those who said they were triggered. I am truely truely sorry to anyone who has been offended by my post about triggering, i was angry that paris is upset and that were upsetting each other instead of helping each other, we already have enough hurt in our lives we dont need it from here too!! I am sorry i just have never triggered myself! My appologies Soph xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 This is not an issue for black-and-white thinking. Everyone here (as far as I know) wants to support Paris. She is cared for here. However, just because we care for Paris, we can't ignore the fact that she began this topic by asking a question, and she deserves honest answers to it. It is the time for honest and respectful debate and discussion. I am in no position to judge Paris because I have done wrong things in the chat myself. (((Paris))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 yep i respect paris hence why am trying to be honest. I'm doing what i do when o feel i have made mistakes and upset others, which os to put myself in the other persons shoes, with the hope i can avoid the situation in the future. If i still feel i have done nothing wrong and my behaviour is acceptable then i may have to accept that others just won't like me or may avoid me and focus on the people i do get along with who like me see nothing wrong with my behaviour. The fact is though someone is always going to disagree with me or not like how i talk, my frankness etc... On the other hand if i were more diplomatic or kept my opinion to myself there would be people that didn't like that eithee. I prefer honesty even if the truth hurts, at least then i know where i stand and how people view me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Im sorry if my posts came across as sarcastic. I saw a red flag. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Im sorry if my posts came across as sarcastic. I saw a red flag. Sorry. Thankyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 soph i think it is clear u r just feeling defensive and loyal to ur friend, just as i would react if someone attacked paris. Like if someone posted saying i leave chat cuz u r a bitch, i'd jump straight in there, i guess we could say you were triggered by people upsetting your mate, into becoming defensive and attacking others uncharacteristically? I like you a lot, but again i'm able to see the underlying issue and cause becauae i've come to know you. I know what you are normally like on here, thoughtful and caring and kind, compassionate and understanding, but if nsomeone else only had the out of character emotional, defensive, reactionary respose to go by, then could you blame them for becoming avoidant? I mean ok, not over a one off event, but if it was several times without seeing the good side that i mentioned, then would it be fair to expect them to respect, like and be considerate of you? Or would it be faieer to expect them to try to protect themselves from you? Especially if they'd been on receiving end of any negative emotional outburst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 I try not to ignore anyone in chat, what ever they say and regardless of how i'm feeling. But i would just like to add... Recently when you have been coming in chat and you mention something like 'I'm off to jump off a bridge' or i'm going to cut' and then totally disappear. I don't know about anyone else, but it makes me feel pretty damn helpless. The kind of things that go through my mind are...Shit, what can i do? There's nothing i can do! What if she doesn't come back? What if someone posts on here that she has finally offed herself properly, could i have done anything to stop her? What if i could have? she might still be alive today! If others are feeling and thinking the same thing, i can see why they would do thier best to try and avoid you and anyone else whilst like that. Feeling helpless isn't the best feeling in the world. You may not be having the best time at the moment, but there are people in this community that really care about you and it hurts them to see you like you've been and what possibly hurts them even more, is that they are powerless to stop it. try and think of thier feelings too, as well as your own. It might put a bit of perspective on things. Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 soph i think it is clear u r just feeling defensive and loyal to ur friend, just as i would react if someone attacked paris. Like if someone posted saying i leave chat cuz u r a bitch, i'd jump straight in there, i guess we could say you were triggered by people upsetting your mate, into becoming defensive and attacking others uncharacteristically? I like you a lot, but again i'm able to see the underlying issue and cause becauae i've come to know you. I know what you are normally like on here, thoughtful and caring and kind, compassionate and understanding, but if nsomeone else only had the out of character emotional, defensive, reactionary respose to go by, then could you blame them for becoming avoidant? I mean ok, not over a one off event, but if it was several times without seeing the good side that i mentioned, then would it be fair to expect them to respect, like and be considerate of you? Or would it be faieer to expect them to try to protect themselves from you? Especially if they'd been on receiving end of any negative emotional outburst. Im sorry everyone im having a hard time atm with med change and i agree with everything likeme says. Thanks hun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted December 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i agree aurora i have been very wrong recently and displaying total borderline and manipulative behaviours in real life and on here! i was desperate for someone to come and pick me up and take away my pain that i was prepared to go to quite extremme lengths to do it, inc the train business, i am very guilty of this i am aware and i have tried my best since not to do it at all!! the thing i think i was angry about when i started this post was that i heard this from someone else, rather than those people say err oi this is against the rules take it to pm, post about it, or we will report you- which is what i am honest i do when people have come in saying those things that i had said in the past, rather than he said she said about them after? if that makes any sense at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 (((((((((Paris))))))))) I know what you mean :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 the thing i think i was angry about when i started this post was that i heard this from someone else I am sorry if I have made you angry. I can be quite manipulative myself; I don't always realise I am doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.