Look What I Found!

[Stu-Fred]

I was born 12 weeks premature at 3lbs 1oz. :huh:

[eerie_me]

I was born on the date I was due.

But from a week old my mum was telling me "you're going to go to university" (its on video too).

I didnt go to university and had to deal for ages with the feeling of failure.

[fuzzyfelt]

Katherine, just been reading the responses here, wow. I wasn't prem (well a week) but my mum had a bad paesiotomy (cut cos I can't spell it) and has always told me that, but the abandonment she did do but has told me I won't remember it (how helpful) when I was under a year old and again when I was 12 or 13 (without any explanation or contact) also I used to bedwet until late on (in her eyes my brother who is 18 months younger than me and no MH problems started to not wet and she reckons I was about two or three) and so I got given medicine which I have since found out is also an antidepressant (lol) Not trying to change the course of the thread but wanted to ask if any1 else had been also given meds at a young age? Oh and I was born 1971, 7lbs 13oz. Those years were referred to as baby boom years and the girl and yourself also of the same years. Just wondering if any social situations going on around that time? Much hugs and great topic

[gingerwoman]

((((silkworm)))) sorry to hear your sad story about your father's abusive behaviour. :(

[Spirit_Tiger]

I was on time, but I bonded more with my dad than my mum when I was a baby. Then my dad had a severe nervous breakdown when I was about 4yrs old and left me with my mum and brother. I have felt since that time that he abandoned me. Then when I was about 7yrs old, my mum started going out with a real plank. I was abused by him and my mum didn't no that it was happening. She threw him out when I was 11. It was to late. The damage was done. :(

[smacmurtry]

I wasn't early (though I was small), but my parents both became ill right after I was born (mom had to have a hysterectomy and my dad had to have his gall bladder out), so I had very little time with them. This was followed by years of semi-neglect because they were both workaholics who didn't have energy to spend on their daughter after their days at work.

[jo22]

This is really interesting. Maybe you could do some sort of poll surrounding abandonment issues at birth and bpd. I had no contact at all with my birth mother after I was born, and was kept in E&R for two weeks before going to a foster parent, as it was the only ward with any space.

[Silkworm]

Thanks Gingerwoman, the irony is that although Dad was physically abusive toward mum back then, he was rarely so to us as kids. It was Mum that was far more physically abusive throughout my childhood...she only stopped hitting me at age 16 (and that was because I warned her to stop, or I would hit her back). Dad was emotionally abusive, belittling and the house revolved around his explosions (throwing things at walls, shouting etc). It's really been sinking in lately how damaging all this was to my sister and I. I think I had a tendency to minimise it...so many people have experienced much worse. Still, it didn't do me any favours....so much of my childhood I can't remember. Mum asked me recently what it was like when Dad looked after us when she worked evenings as a nurse. I couldn't answer, because I don't remember...five yrs from age 3 on, I just don't remember any of it, apart from a few snippets/incidents. I think she wants to convince herself that it was Dad that did all the damage...and that she played no part in damaging her kids.

Anyway, rambling now..thanks for the hug Ginger

Sw

[feistymiss]

very interesting katherine, often thought of this link myself, as i was a prem baby, born in the late 50s,

my mum had me weighing at 2lb, tho i dont have the exact birth weight, she says a bag of sugar

and i believe i was 8 weeks early, she says i was 2 months early and that she left her job on the friday, to have me on the sunday, so she never had any "maternity leave"

i was in an incubator for months, and she left me in the hospital, returning to either breastfeed me or express milk, so must have meant she wanted to do something by me

family claimed to her that i looked like a rabbit and last rites were performed

she herself does say that she couldnt bond with me, i believe the stress and trauma of my birth happening as it did left her unsupported and that she resented deeply, my birth etc and her own upbringing

she was extremely jealous of me .. ok, gonna stop now, ive answered the main question !

[sunshine_bear]

I was 9 days late and 7lbs. So I was neither a premmie or underweight.

[feistymiss]

i was prem born, 2 months prem, weighing 2 lb, born in late 1950s and had to stay in an incubator for several months

mum came to breastfeed and express milk but said herself that she felt no bond to me

they thought i wouldnt make it and baptised me

grandmother thought i looked like a skinned rabbit

i dont beleive my mum coped with being pregnant

she left work on the friday to start maternity leave and had me on the sunday

and there was intense jealousy there from mum towards me and still is

she did not want a child, not a girl and not to be tied down

just typing this bought back stuff that is painful to talk about

[Life is sweet]

I was a premie born 2 1/2 months early I believe. Weighed 1 lb 3.5 oz. Was in incubator and on oxygen at home for months after birth. Developed eye condition known as strabismus(sp?) due to the oxygen too. But, don't think it has too much significance w/ my diagnosis of BPD. Pediatric wings of hospitals always have people in there holding, cuddling babies. Parents came to hospital EVERY night after work to see me, hold me, pray for me, etc.

We really should start a poll. It would be interesting to see it all laid out in a bar graph form! Eh? :)

[EyeCeyE]

I found this post on the BBC website.....

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>"My daughter was born at 26 weeks in 1971. She was absolutely fine with no apparent physical or mental disabilities until adolescence when behavioural problems manifested which were ultimately diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder caused by the trauma of her birth and the 'abandonment' situation of having to spend the first three months of her life in the hospital. I wonder how many other premature babies have been or will be diagnosed with BPD? Or whether in fact this probability has even been taken into account?"</span>

I was born at 30 weeks in 1970, I weighed 2 pounds 13 ounces...

It was also the 'abandonment' for me that caused *all this* (plus other stuff..)

Though unlike the girl above, I had anxiety and depression all through my childhood.

I am very interested in reseaching this aspect...

karie

There is a lot of factual evidence based research which recognises the fact BPD can stem from trauma pre-3 years old, which eventually develops as a permanent chemical deviation that cannot be repaired, that is why it is so obvious why anti-depressant medication works, and why nearly all have been pharmaceutically developed by accident. We discover the fact that it works on peoples mood just like the reason why scientists discovered again by accident why pigs who were electrocuted prior to slaughter but failed to die, reacted boisterously and active, and so decided if they pass a current bilaterally through a persons brain, they will be less depressed.

So whether premature or traumatised the same neurological and chemical changes are forever lasting, so chemical help is as important as therapy, depending on the primary cause, but if premature born causes chemical impairment, so the trauma of childhood sexual abuse also instigates chemical change thus resulting in a multi or para-mental illness found in BPD.

Ok, remember this is never as good as it gets X

[bibiddi]

Interesting that you say that eye. Because I was under the impression that anti depression tablets dont actually have any affect on the BPD.

[EyeCeyE]

Interesting that you say that eye. Because I was under the impression that anti depression tablets dont actually have any affect on the BPD.

ok fair enough, you dont believe, you were under the impression that BPD isnt related to Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disorder, PTSD, Dissociative States, Fugue States, Loss of Impulse control, Fear of abandonment, potential for psychosis/delusions, history of abuse (emotional/physical/sexual)?

If you think medication doesnt help that is fine. I have 13 years of experience working with mental health problems, I have my view, and it is only, and exactly that, my view.

Please feel free to inform me of your 'impressions' and we can debate the issue.

EyeCeyE ;)

[sticky1105]

Well congratulations - if u look hard enough u will always find a reason or common link.

How many of those same people drive a car ? maybe thats the reason. Do they all eat chocolate ?

OMG I bet they ALL used water out of the tap !! Thats it we've all been fucked up by tap water - maybe theres a conspiracy theorty we can add too ?

We all want answerss in life but clutching at straws ??

[bibiddi]

ok fair enough, you dont believe, you were under the impression that BPD isnt related to Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disorder, PTSD, Dissociative States, Fugue States, Loss of Impulse control, Fear of abandonment, potential for psychosis/delusions, history of abuse (emotional/physical/sexual)?

EyeCeyE

Thats a huge assumption you made there, eye.And I'm not sure how you reached it?

Medicatation affects the sereronin levels, which is great if you have that form of depression.

But as you know theres various types of depression.People often have depression because of unresolved issues from the past that are still affecting our actions today.

As someone recently described very succinctly.She said something along the lines of: its anger, repressed and turned inwards.

Which is why therapy is often suggested for the BPD.

I'm not on any medication but, if I remember rightly anti psychotics or anti anxiety pills are used a lot to help with the BPD, and seems more successful.

Actually, I'm still struggling with what you said, which I've quoted. I dont feel like I deserved such a barbed comment. If I did deserve it, can you explain why you said that. Because I actually find it offensive.

[garbles]

I found this post on the BBC website.....

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>"My daughter was born at 26 weeks in 1971. She was absolutely fine with no apparent physical or mental disabilities until adolescence when behavioural problems manifested which were ultimately diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder caused by the trauma of her birth and the 'abandonment' situation of having to spend the first three months of her life in the hospital. I wonder how many other premature babies have been or will be diagnosed with BPD? Or whether in fact this probability has even been taken into account?"</span>

I was born at 30 weeks in 1970, I weighed 2 pounds 13 ounces...

It was also the 'abandonment' for me that caused *all this* (plus other stuff..)

Though unlike the girl above, I had anxiety and depression all through my childhood.

I am very interested in reseaching this aspect...

karie

Hi, having been a midwife for many years, it is my opinion that a baby is very content initially as long as he/she is given food, change of nappy and cuddles by anybody. As long as the baby is not neglected in any way there should be no problem. The only problem i can see is if a baby is in NICCU for a long period of time without physical contact.

[EyeCeyE]

I found this post on the BBC website.....

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>"My daughter was born at 26 weeks in 1971. She was absolutely fine with no apparent physical or mental disabilities until adolescence when behavioural problems manifested which were ultimately diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder caused by the trauma of her birth and the 'abandonment' situation of having to spend the first three months of her life in the hospital. I wonder how many other premature babies have been or will be diagnosed with BPD? Or whether in fact this probability has even been taken into account?"</span>

I was born at 30 weeks in 1970, I weighed 2 pounds 13 ounces...

It was also the 'abandonment' for me that caused *all this* (plus other stuff..)

Though unlike the girl above, I had anxiety and depression all through my childhood.

I am very interested in reseaching this aspect...

karie

Wasnt born noticeably premature, but was almost born in a car on the top of a snow-filled mountain in the Highlands of Scotland and they couldnt get past because they had shut the snow gates, I guess there was enough Cortisol flowing through my mothers veins to cause in utero trauma, but I dont really believe that. It was my early years that caused the long term chemical imbalances.

[PanickyPolly]

sounds far fetched to me

[sticky1105]

My understanding of this is that she was actually mis-quoted in the next

90% of prem babies are born with BPD - Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia and not BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder.

http://catalog.nucleusinc.com/displaymonograph.php?MID=159

Amazing how we cling onto something to make us feel we know the reason ! :blink: