An/ed-Nos

[crystalli]

I saw a specialist yesterday Re, my ED and we talked a lot about the reality of things and my sense of deserving, or lack of.

She, from what I discribed said I was having periods of hypoglycaemia, and was telling me how dangerous it could be in this cold weather. I had never thought that much of the symptoms I get sometimes when I dont eat enough for a while, then starve for a few hours and skip proper meals. It made me realise though that all the things I associate with anxiety, perfuse sweating, shaking, palpitations, clammy body/hands, hot/cold feelings that confuse you as to what temperature you really are and dizzyness/fainting- could, okay, are actually sometimes directly because, I havent eaten properly.

I thought about getting a blood glucose monitor to 'prove it' to myself so I could allow myself to believe its a problem. I feel so torn inside because it could be true, but like hell will my ED brain allow me to take it on board. I hate how I feel when I dont eat, I feel SO ill, but I keep thinking that I should carry on till I know 'for sure' that is the reason.

She told me that the only way to get a true diagnosis was to have a fasting blood sugar test gone, and then subsequent blood glucose readings taken after that. I dont see any reason for a Dr to give me one, because from the sound of what this lady was saying, a Dr would assume point blank because of my eating habits that its hypoglycaemia and wouldnt bother waste their time on a test they beleive they know the answer to. < But that doesnt help me.

I am supposed to be having my blood pressure done with a nurse sometime, (I had a note attached to my repeat prescriptions) because I am on beta blockers for the physical symptoms of anxiety and I have been fainting, which the dr assumed is because the beta blockers are too higher dose for me (I believe also, that my gp would be very quick to blame fainting on beta blockers and sweating on anxiety, etc etc, which would easily make me react as okay, yep fine, its okay then). The more I dont eat enough, the more physical anxiety symptoms I will have< is what I am concluding from this. So if I continue I will be dieting for life, anxious most of the time, and utterly miserable. But then Im stuck because I cannot just accept the weight I am now.

Has anyone else experianced this sort of dilemma? I am thinking of emailing the lady back, but what exactly can I say, -your making sense, but I cannot accept/will not accept it relates to me still- I dont think she can help me on this one.

Sorry this is long x