JTBadBug Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Hi Ex, You are doing wonderfully well - keep it going. Dare I risk offending you, but, can I challenge you that it is not the only thing you enjoy in life. You have a wonderful little boy, that smiles at you in the morning, no doubt gives you hugs and kisses during the day and tells you he loves you when he goes to bed. You may tell me I am looking at motherhood through rose tinted glasses - can you tell I am not a mom? What else do you enjoy? going to the cinema? playing in the park on a sunny day with your little boy? riding bikes together? taking a stroll by a river, buying a plants for the garden, all that wonderful painting of the house - maybe not, but, I believe you have some to do. watching your young man collecting Easter Eggs, Come on guys I am sure you could help me out - if Ex does not mind. How about your day trip to Alton Towers or some other theme park with the money you have saved. If this type of discussion annoys you Ex, please tell me, but, it is the only way I can think to help. Just keep going, it has got to be better in the long run, says she who just doesn't have a clue. Take care and find a reason to smile, Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 I agree with Jane. For all of us wannabe mums who for some reason or another have lucked out Keep it together ex, you know that you can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Thanks Jane and swan. Tonight feels easier than the last three days. I still want to drink but the anxiety over it all isnt so high. I have renewed hope. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 2, 2005 Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Hi Lorna, Did you have a good afternoon at the beach? I ended up mowing my lawns, so I think, fairly conclusively, you won. Can I ask you, does it help if I waffle on in my posts, if it doesn't I would not be offended, I might cry for a few hours (not ), but I don't know if it winds people up or whether they like ideas. I know sometimes the last thing you want to hear is a list of positive ideas - what do you think? I am pleased you are feeling a little better today. Jane xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2005 Dearest Jane, I love your posts. They are warm and insightfull and give a real sense of 'you' Dont stop xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 WELL I DID IT!!!! 4 DAYS SOBER!!!! Now its on to complete the week. So weds morning. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Hi Lorna, Are you starting to feel any better yet? 4 Days is good, the smokers at work who gave up in the new year said that day 3 was the worst and after that things started to get better. Is the weahter nice by you, the sun has yet to appear here, but, I have visions of a young mum being chased across the beachby a little boy before flopping to build sand castles. My imagination makes me smile sometimes. Anyway, I won't keep you, many congratulations and keep it going, going and going..... Jane P.s. I am glad I don't annoy you with my posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Yes the anxiety is starting to get more tollerable, and ,my motivation to get things done seems to of increased. I got up at 7am and took my son to a car boot sale for a wander.Bought some stuff to start sorting out the garden because it will either have to be in good condition to hand back to the army when my husband gets posted or if we are still here when it starts to get warm we like to spend a lot of time outside. So ive put down grass seed where the swimming pool last year destroyed a large area and im thinking about sorting out the shed and pulling out the strimmer and getting going on the edges and sorting out the trees and bushes. I am still really very tired because my sleep is really bad and my tummy is still having fits But apart from that I am getting there Thanks for being there Jane. Your a star. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Well Lorna, I hope you have a nice day in your garden - I cut my lawns yesterday, pulled out some bushes and now I need to go and straighten everything up that I started yesterday, I am a bit of a darling for starting a job and not finishing it in one day. Anyway, take care and have fun, and just think by this time tomorrow you will have just 44 hours to go until you have completed your first dry week! Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calyps Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 You guys are making me so jealous- I wish I had a garden! I'll just have to 'make do' with the beach (there's just no pleasing some people!) My best friend and i made a pact to not drink for a week yesterday, we both realised that we had drunk everyday last week, and we don't really want to be doing that so we're going to try joint sobriety. I know I have managed before to abstain, and so has she, so i know we can do it again. Extinct- iThe way you have handled all this is amazing- and now it's sunday! You deserve major pats on the back for your acheivements here, and you're also showing me that it can be done! Thanks for the spark of hope mate, take care of yourself. Anwen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Am following u here Lorna.................................keep it up! :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 ((((Anwen and bud)))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddypotty Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 just congratulations on doing something so brave,good luck in the future. patricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Anwen, I'll swop, I love beaches but living in Central England puts me just about as far away from a beach as it possibly gets in the UK - . Can I also add, gardens are a lot of hard work to keep them looking nice. I will be digging and mowing while you could be sun bathing and surfing - I still think you win - or maybe your side just looks greener. Lorna, how is it going, I have read a few of your other postings so I think you will be offering a positive response here, but, you never know I might be wrong. Just a few short hours from 2 days to go for the full week and the first £50 into the jar. Do you have anything nice planned for tomorrow? I am back to work, after a second long weekend in a row, oh how lovely it would be to work a 4 day week while being paid for 5 - sounds like everyones dream eh? Anyway, do take care and well done so far. Jane Oh and Lorna, you made my day earlier, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpmonki Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 dude well done :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Hey babe, I am doing ok. I am getting things done that I have put of for far to long. I spent the day sorting out my shed and jumping every few seconds waiting for a mouse to run out despite it being made of concrete and completely secure Then I spent an hour trying in vain to start the petrol lawn mower, but after a winter out of action its going to take a stronger person than I to start it. I played catch with my son and pushed him on the swings in the garden, had a teddys bears picnic and taught him how to sow seeds. I now have a garden full of rubbish ready to go to the dump. I could really do with a skip or something but its near on 200 pounds to hire one so we will just have to do 8 trips I feel exausted still but its starting to feel like a more healthy type of exaustion. Bought on by a sunday spent enjoying this early sunshine with my son and doing some hard graft in the garden. I also got to speak to my next door neighbour a bit more today. She has helped tpo confirm in my mind that she is a frirndly, warm person who seems to laugh a lot. So I think I will swallow my nerves and make more of an effort to get to know her. She could proberly use a chat over the fence every now and then she is recently married, new to the army way of life ans with a new baby. So maybe it would be good on both sides huh? Not sure of my plans for tommorow. Untill recently I was working but things went wrong. But now im enjoying the last fww months with my son before he starts school after working allmost constantly since he turned one. After the childcare costs to be honest we are not that much worse of, and to my mind its worth it to spend these last few 'baby' months with him. I thought of you today out in your garden. Wondering if you where enjoying the first few flushes of summer. The way at times if the rays get you just right it actually feels hot against your skin. So many people seemed to be having bbqs today. For some reason it really helped to motivate me towards staying on track and getting on top of things. Something about the smell and hearing grown men giggling like a child with there kids, whilest there partners get to relax for once with the girls. It will soon be the weekend again. I allways think mondays at work should be spent day dreaming about how we are going to spend our next weekend of (((((hugs))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Do you know Lorna, you too are a Star and deserve a bravery award for quitting drinking 'live' on this site. The inspiration that it has to be giving people must be huge. As for the garden, I enjoy gardening when the weather is nice and the wasps are not out yet, but, I always hate the job of disposing of the rubbish. I don't know what the dumps are like by you, but, we can queue for ages trying to get into our local tip. It is strange how I feel about kids because I am not good with babies but like young children. I have always encouraged my friends to stay home with their kids if they can afford to. This is not because I like to interfere, or because I have any understanding of bringing up children, because I don't, but, my mother has always brought me up to believe, that the pre-school years are the best. Personally I like children once I can have a conversation with them - a teddy bears picnic sounds great and pushing a child on a swing is as much fun as building sand castles with them - well it is if they are laughing. Anyway, I say, enjoy your bigger baby for hislast few months before he becomes a little man of the world. Anyway, I am going to have to bid farewell as I am shattered and have to rise early, but, as you said - in just 5 days time I will be able to stay up later as I won't have to get up for work the next morning. Do take care and continue having fun with your son and I hope you enjoy a pleasant chat with you neighbour - while I am at work Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted April 3, 2005 Report Share Posted April 3, 2005 Lorna I am so proud of you! You are doing this by yourself. You are an inspiration to many of us here. I can feel the positive energy flowing through your words. You have been through so much lately and you have overcome and will continue to do so. Rock on mate! Love, Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 I am with u there Lorna ! ((((((((((((((LORNA))))))))))))))) :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 Hi Lorna, How has today gone? just one and a quarter days to go until you complete your first week - not long at all. Have you done anything nice today, I hope so because I want to read something that will make me smile, even if it is as simple as imaging a mum and little boy baking cookies in a kitchen, ooh, I can almost smell them . Anyway, I shall not bore you, I do hope you have had a good day, even without sunshine, and that with each day you are feeling better and better, mind you, without being a pessimist, we all still get our off days too. No pressure, but, I hope you are smiling today, Take care, Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 Hi Jane, Today I took my son to pizza hut with my father and his girlfriend as they are of to australia tommorow. My father jokingly asked my son to ask the waitress for the bill. Bold as brass he walked to the other end of the restaurant and seeing the ice cream machine promptly asked for an ice cream bowl instead He was so convincing ans because I was watching and smiled at the waitress thinking he had asked for the bill so she assumed he had been told to ask for icecream. Completely cheeky of him but I didnt have the heart to be angry. I really hope he keeps the same level of confidence as he grows older. I still feel 'ok' though I still feel like an alcoholic if that makes any sense. I still want to drink at night and I still cant sleep to well though this has improved a bit. But I am feeling better about my abilitys to reach personal goals. Even found myself thinking about giving up smoking in a few months time once im fully under control of the drink thing. Then I thought I would get rid of caffine and join a gym.......Then prehaps go for 'office' Hope your Monday was not to mundane. What do you do work wise? Anything of interest or do you just work to pay the bills like so many of have to do? Have you seen that advert for a mortgage company where its shows a child with there dreams ( one of them is caring for gorrilas in the jungle) then 40 years later it asks them there current dream? They have changed to such mundane things like spending less time in traffic jams etc. I wonder at what point do we let go of our dreams and allow it to be replaced by a mediocre second best? Anyway im rambling. Giving up the booze has created even more time for inner reflection, but sober I seem to be much nicer about myself :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 Well, I think you should tell your little man I am impressed, even I would not go walking down a restaurant, by myself, to get a bowl of ice cream or anything else and I am 30 years his senior - never mind, he sounds fab. I have never given up a 'bad' habbit so I can't really say I understand what you are going through, but, my brother stopped drinking in December last year after a health scare. He was a big time drinker - he told me that he drunk a bottle of wine to himself a night, it was only as the conversation continued that he explained that he drinks the large bottle, he lives in the States and the large bottle is 1.5 litres - then he would add a few other bits and bobs either side of it. I did find him quite grumpy for a long time, but, he has just been given the all clear after they did many tests on his liver, so he has started drinking 'lightly' this time, I do hope he does not get back into his old habbits - I am hoping his fiancee will be able to keep it under control. The only thing I can say here is, I know it is difficult and it will continue to be difficult for a long time, but, I believe you have the strength to maintain control - even when it gets hard. I am sorry, I have just been called for dinner, so I will come and bore you some more shortly. - the break will probably stop me rambling on. Speak to you soon, Jane P.s. you did make me smile, just what I needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted April 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 I want someone to call me to dinner! Instead of having to prepare,cook and clean it up afterwards Enjoy! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 Sometimes being a lazy cook has it's perks. People feel sorry for my very nice husband because they know I don't cook, so they bring food over for him and I get to share it!! Yesterday was chicken and dumplings, fresh green beans and homemade biscuits!! As I ate I smiled and said "I did nothing to deserve this!" XXX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mitchy Posted April 4, 2005 Report Share Posted April 4, 2005 well done!!!!!!!!!! you are an inspiration. wish i had your strength. i struggle every night with the demons. and tell myself i don't have a problem as i only drink at night. but i do harmful things, so i need to stop. i went 9 days a few weeks ago, but sank. i know what a struggle it is. i wish you well. maybe i can give it a go too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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