hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hello This may seem an odd topic to some people, I dunno ... Im blithering on about how emotions actually come out in the body. Ive always been a person who was sort of detached from emotion, and especially my body. I knew there were feelings that came up I didnt like, but I tended to try not to think about them or just hope they go away, and that sort of lead me to be alienated from my own feelings, and how they come up in my body. I sort of feel like a little kid asking this because it seems so elementary, almost excited like im discovering something hidden (but which is prolly obvious to everyone else lol), but here goes anyways. Where in your body do you feel your most unpleasant emotional sensations, and what does it feel like? Do you actually experience emotion as 'being in the body', or is it different for you? Im sort of assuming that people feel their emotions in their bodies.... I maybe wrong? My worst one is this horrible 'sudden stomach ache' feeling that comes on. It seems to be part of me thats nagging me, making demands of me, particularly about things I know I cannot change, am too frightened to face, or things I have done in the past that cannot be changed. Its sort of like this impatient, demanding voice (but in the form of a feeling in my tummy). Its horrible, and I realised its this feeling that makes me try ti shut thoughts down and try not to think about things. Its painful enough in my stomach that Im actually SCARED of it! Its not a real stomach ache, it only arrives with certain thoughts and then goes soon after, so theres no real acid in there. Its just the feeling is almost exactly like a stomach ache, or indigestion. I realised for a while I kind of 'forgot' when I felt like this, it is so unpleasant I seemed to dissociate it away, try to forget it had happened. Just wondered if anyone else has same thing? This is not one of my scientific type thread things, I just wanted to know if I am completely different or something Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Heartache. I feel it. It's real. It hurts in my chest. I know you can die of a broken heart because my granddad died of one having never recovered from his wife's death in old age. Heartache is real. And it fucking hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 :hug2: ((sanctuary)) I think ive felt that one from time to time I agree with you Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 ooooooooooooo my t always asks me where in the body i get physical sensations when i am describing feelings.... so there is defo summat there... not just you then... i am crap at feelings but these are ones i know anger is felt all over my body - tensin up stress is felt in upper body - mainly in shoulders despair and hopelessness whole upper body mostly stomache and chest abandonment stuff is chesty pain centered on heart thats all i can remember atm... but yeah is all physical and emotional connected... look at npi - neuropsychological immunology for more info on the connections - i did a course on that... so if u need more info on this - give me a shout and i can look up from my notes when i am home tonight or whatever... hope my waffling makes some sense and is helpful... Kath xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 My stomach crashes with anxiety, if that makes sense, it actually feels like a hangover tummy, sickness, sometimes like it does when am hungry. But in actual fact the tummy things come from emotions and not physical things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b0bulat0r Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I get very much what you describe but I see this as actually being a physical thing. Because I suffer from IBS my stomach is incredibly sensitive, whenever I suffer from anxiety, stress or panic my stomach begins to get sore and I begin to feel very acidic and toxic inside often if prolonged triggering one of my bad attacks. I think this is a chemical reaction of the emotion in the brain that effects the other systems in my body and causes this reaction as each emotion has a chemical that is released in the brain in response to it or when released helps to cause an emotion. if the panic continues for long enough I make myself sick Depression however is the odd one for me which doesnt feel like an emotion inside my body, but more a spirit pressure around it, like an oppressive cloud of energy that surrounds and chokes me. anger and aggression triggering Adrenaline, making me feel pumped energised. I also find that if I allow my aggression and rage to build and do not find an outlet for it to be released into, when i explode and normally break things, I am unable to feel any physical pain or injury at all whilst angry. One time I was in a flying range I punched through a plasterboard wall and hit a beam or support inside the wall with my fist and messed my hand up pretty badly but I felt nothing at the time no pain no scream no even oh crap ive done my hand in didnt even flinch, I didnt feel anything for as long as I kept up the aggression the moment the anger drops and I calm down I was screaming like a little girl Oh F*** my hand, it hurts holy S*** it hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 ooooooooooooo my t always asks me where in the body i get physical sensations when i am describing feelings.... so there is defo summat there... not just you then... i am crap at feelings but these are ones i know anger is felt all over my body - tensin up stress is felt in upper body - mainly in shoulders despair and hopelessness whole upper body mostly stomache and chest abandonment stuff is chesty pain centered on heart thats all i can remember atm... but yeah is all physical and emotional connected... look at npi - neuropsychological immunology for more info on the connections - i did a course on that... so if u need more info on this - give me a shout and i can look up from my notes when i am home tonight or whatever... hope my waffling makes some sense and is helpful... Kath xxx Hullo Misses Mc Evil I think I would agree with those body areas too It feels good to know that others find the same stuff, that me body isnt doing odd things ... but also its horrid to know that other people are feeling that same physical pain. When I think about it like that it makes me feel all the more sad for others and stuff, you know like the pain is a real physcial thing. Ive been looking at this feeling because I think its part of my barrier why I cant feel compassion for myself. Its like its saying "compassion? what the hell for? if you just stopped fucking up, didnt do those things you did in the past, and faced up to all your problems no matter how much it hurts, then you wouldnt be in this mess". Its like a voice that thinks it knows best and no one else, and that it just wants to push me out the door to face all those fears without actually understanding WHY I am afraid, or have any sense of nurturance or support for myself. It just thinks if it whips me hard enough I will recover. On top of that it feels that "the person who needs compassion is the loser" - because I see the world as trying to control me or beat me down, I feel like I dont need compassion, I need strangth to beat those people who want to control me. Paradoxically, this seems to keep me stuck because what I need is a sense of self compassion, and I think this is one of the major barriers to that. When I think of having self-compassion I just feel a slight mocking, disdainful feeling towards myself. I did have a lookie at that npi before, was quite exotic sounding. Did you learn lots of cool stuffs from the course? Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 My stomach crashes with anxiety, if that makes sense, it actually feels like a hangover tummy, sickness, sometimes like it does when am hungry. But in actual fact the tummy things come from emotions and not physical things. Yes thats pretty much what I get too Sioux I hate it! Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I get very much what you describe but I see this as actually being a physical thing. Because I suffer from IBS my stomach is incredibly sensitive, whenever I suffer from anxiety, stress or panic my stomach begins to get sore and I begin to feel very acidic and toxic inside often if prolonged triggering one of my bad attacks. I think this is a chemical reaction of the emotion in the brain that effects the other systems in my body and causes this reaction as each emotion has a chemical that is released in the brain in response to it or when released helps to cause an emotion. if the panic continues for long enough I make myself sick Depression however is the odd one for me which doesnt feel like an emotion inside my body, but more a spirit pressure around it, like an oppressive cloud of energy that surrounds and chokes me. anger and aggression triggering Adrenaline, making me feel pumped energised. I also find that if I allow my aggression and rage to build and do not find an outlet for it to be released into, when i explode and normally break things, I am unable to feel any physical pain or injury at all whilst angry. One time I was in a flying range I punched through a plasterboard wall and hit a beam or support inside the wall with my fist and messed my hand up pretty badly but I felt nothing at the time no pain no scream no even oh crap ive done my hand in didnt even flinch, I didnt feel anything for as long as I kept up the aggression the moment the anger drops and I calm down I was screaming like a little girl Oh F*** my hand, it hurts holy S*** it hurts. It makes me wonder b0b, if your MH thingies went away, would your IBS clear up too? That would be a nice double pressie for you, but I dunno if IBS is a physically caused thing or if its psychosomatic or not? Dont know that much about it, sounds horrible though. Ive not had that anger thing, it sounds very overwhelming that you would feel no pain at all. Makes me wanna put a bandage on yer hand My depression I feel in my head and my shoulders - like a pressure in my brain and eyes, and maybe a loss of energy in my chest and stuff. Seems like we all feel these feelings slightly differently. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 yeah i found course well good provin the link between mind and body and stuff found this - explains it rather well methinks... i especially like the following bit: You might like to concentrate on a pain in your body and ask this pain what purpose it is serving and what it is telling you...believe the response that you receive, which will usually relate to an external state or emotion. If you are spiritually minded, you may like to ask your higher self, angels or guides to help you, as you send loving energy into this pain and see how it and the situation it is referring to responds. http://www.spiritualwell-being.com/neuropsychological_immunology.htm tis a lil "spiritual" but if that upsets you - read beyond that stuff... but i kno u into meditation so i dont think it will self compassion - ooo that means you have to like yourself - i am still struggling with that one - but as my friend said to me this morning, he has noticed a change in me and maybe i am on the way to getting some self esteem... i think that is my CORE issue and once i tackle that one i should be over the worst part of my recovery.... anyhoo... we battle on........ love and hugs Kath xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hi chippie I think what its saying at core is exactly what I have been trying to do - it really is true that the feeling gives you some message, it just takes a lot of time and silence to let it through, and the willingess to endure the shit feeling! You are right, mindfulness does that for me. Actually, the angels stuff would be quite consistent with the idea of compassionate imagery thats exciting the world of CBT at the mo - seeing / imagining a more powerful and caring figure who is there to guide and look out for you. Even if you dont believe in angels, its been shown that this compassionate imagery (which could be anything) wakes up the compassionate part of the mind and can help foster a sense of self compassion - that much has been scientifically proven. Its the image thats important, and the feeling it brings. A genuine belief in angels I think would probably super charge it The 12 steps stuff has god as the higher power, so mabbe I need to find meself one. I always feel guilty and ashamed when I think about god, so best steer clear of deities Its worth noting that the same studies found that for people who have rarely felt a sense of compassion in their lives, it can be nigh on impossible to self-generate a feeling of compassion. It seems to only come when they have been able to feel it coming from another person - so its possible that in some way, the compassion of your T and your friend has been chipping away. Chipping away at chips whoooo lol. I still am stuck in seeing my T as a stern mistress expecting me to perform - which fits entirely consistently with my own attitude towards myself. Dontcha love transference Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russell Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Most of my tension ends up in my legs (like restless leg syndrome) drives me nuts and makes me feel like I need to go for a run/walk. I would regularly go to reflexology to get it sorted but its expensive. My forehead! sounds kind of weird but I get this feeling like Im frowning even when Im not. My jaw/teeth. I bite my teeth together if im stressed or anxious and I end up getting jaw ache and sensitive teeth Anyway, Thats my oddities for today lol :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hmm yus russell I get jiggly leg problem and tensey jaw too I have to try to catch myself! I have a little post it note on my compy screen saying "RELAX" to remind me to uncoil all my muscles lol I feel like im frowning too, makes me scared I will be seen by some big dominant aggressive yob who will say "wot fuck yooo starin at innit", so I get para about 'looking angry'. Sigh fun Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Its worth noting that the same studies found that for people who have rarely felt a sense of compassion in their lives, it can be nigh on impossible to self-generate a feeling of compassion. It seems to only come when they have been able to feel it coming from another person - so its possible that in some way, the compassion of your T and your friend has been chipping away. Chipping away at chips whoooo lol. I still am stuck in seeing my T as a stern mistress expecting me to perform - which fits entirely consistently with my own attitude towards myself. Dontcha love transference Ross yeah.. i have to hear it all from other people to take it in - i can not generate it myself - not with all the cbt lists in the world... my friend and my t continually telling me i am loved, i am good, i am etc etc will, i suppose, EVENTUALLY sink into my head and from there maybe even into my heart as a new belief that i can truely FEEL... JUST WANT IT NOW.... lmao oooo stern mistress - now i got an image of lil rossy cowering before a schoolmarm type person with a cane... *shudders* joking apart - AGAIN this thread has come at exactly the right time in my life... I SO LOVE YOU FOR THIS Rossy... every time i need something - there you seem to be, posting a lil question or summat that fits in EXACTLY with what i need... big squashy fluffety huggles to you K xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Whooooo yayyyy chips I feel like a present lol **ties ribbon round self** I dunno if you have this too, but I tend to push compassion away because it makes me feel uncomfy. Closeness and warmth feels kind of odd to me, I just feel uncomfy or embarrassed. But when it has worked, its been right when I was feeling something bad, and somone responded compassionately, as opposed to being told I am nice or loved or whatever randomly. Its like for me I need it in direct response to my expression of pain, for them to understand and care, if that makes sense? Dunno if that is same for you .... squashy fluffety huggles back EDIT: Ive just emailed my T to tell her my realisation about seeing her as critical and demanding, see what she says Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 yes yes yes yes yes etc i hate compassion i hate people tellin me i am loved well i used to... i am warming to the idea now and i dont cry so much when they do but it still makes me feel a lil awkward and i do the old - subject change thingie still... dunno bout compassion when i am actually hurting - i tend just to get negative and push all ideas of help away so i dunno... will have to look into that next time it happens... summat to ponder on... last question - where exactly did you tie the ribbon ??????? :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I haven't read all of this but some stuff emotionally ends up in phusical for me - tense/anxiety = back problems due to muscle spasms and scoliosis = headaches/migraines = stomach pains and IBS, nausea, lack of appetite etc... then the one that doesn't fit in is this one: when I was in hossie 2007 on mental health ward I was sure that my toe was broken, it felt awful and it was clicking and all that. X-rayed and absolutely nothing wrong with it. It was a pain that was not actually there. I swear to god my toe was broken and it was awful and whenever I get really ill my toe feels broken. In a way it's quite funny as I'd expect to think my neck was broke or my arm was gonna fall off, but a broken toe??? WTF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 It was a full body ribbon, I am wearing it like a suit and my head pops out between the bow at the top. I am otherwise fully clothed Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I haven't read all of this but some stuff emotionally ends up in phusical for me - tense/anxiety = back problems due to muscle spasms and scoliosis = headaches/migraines = stomach pains and IBS, nausea, lack of appetite etc... then the one that doesn't fit in is this one: when I was in hossie 2007 on mental health ward I was sure that my toe was broken, it felt awful and it was clicking and all that. X-rayed and absolutely nothing wrong with it. It was a pain that was not actually there. I swear to god my toe was broken and it was awful and whenever I get really ill my toe feels broken. In a way it's quite funny as I'd expect to think my neck was broke or my arm was gonna fall off, but a broken toe??? WTF Mabbe a bit like Dr House's limpy leg that gets better when hes doing diagnostic medicine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Good point! I am Houseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hi Ross *wave* When i'm feeling anxious, i get chest pains, but in my back between my shoulderblades. Makes it quite difficult to breathe, which often results in me hyperventilating too. When i'm angry i get pains in my stomach & often find myself stuck on the loo(pleasant, huh?!). Also get pains in stomach, chest pains, get pounding like drums in ears or i hear this stupid ringing sound, and get pins and needles in extremities when i get upset. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hi crippie That all sounds horrid I think I know that back pain /shoulder blade one. Im amazed how many of these you folks seem to be aware of - for me, I dont tend to be able to identify it unless im actually feeling it ... makes me think I have been kinna divorced from me body for years **shakes hand with body and says hello, offers a slice of walnut cake and talks politely about the weather** Reading all this makes me realise even more how very real psychic pain is - theres nothing virtual about it at all, it seems to assualt the body just as any physical disease would I sometimes get pooping symptoms too. Used to get awful tummy aches when younger, like i had a stomach infection. Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 oooooooooooooooooooo caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake and walnut too - my fave (apart from lemon drizzle of course, o an carrot, well one of my faves anyways) xxxxxx Chips (different name - same wake-up trigger word) xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I REALLY want a choccie cake with lots of squadgy filling and icing nowwwwww and cream Mmmmmmmmmmmmm *dribbles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 Hiya, i get pains in my shoulders, tense muscles. i also have IBS which is affected by anxiety, stress headaches and a sore jaw from clenching my teeth. If i was able to relax these pains would go away, but the pains remind me how stressed and anxious i am and make it worse. Oh its just a vicious circle Ingrid xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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