Hope Floats Posted March 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Thank you for all your repies and info, plenty of food for thought, besides gathering information and preparing myself for every eventuality there's not a lot more i can do, it's comforting to have so much support here, I'll keep you updated on how things go. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted March 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2010 Well it looks as though today's the day, I had a letter from my employer today inviting me for a capability review meeting this afternoon at 3pm, I've talked to my union and we've both concluded due to worsening illness and state of mind that i part company with Plymouth Pavilions this afternoon, it's a bitter sweet pill to swallow and after 14 years there have been some good memories but there's no way i could go back to my current job or any other job for the foreseeable future but at least now i can put closure on this episode in my life and concentrate on my health and me some sort of life to lead. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzieq Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 ((((((((((((((((((((((Stu)))))))))))))))))))))) I really feel your pain on this. It's one of the hardest things to do. I'm so sorry it has come to this for you but can totally understand exactly how you feel. All I can really do right now is send you lots of hugs, you know there is support here from everyone, don't stop using this site, keep in touch, you have many friends here. Please feel free to PM me anytime. Sue xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tissuesanissues Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Sorry for your loss stu, and again, there has been alot of good, solid advice been said already. Try to not see this as a negative - its going to give you some time to focus solely on your health. Difficult, but here to listen x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted April 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Thank you both for your kind words, the meeting went as well as could be expected but apparently this was one of two or three meetings as everything has to be done by procedure, so it could be another month or more before I'm released from my contract and the new meds the doctors with take a couple of weeks to kick in, so like normal, my life's on hold again. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 There is an end in sight, you can see it and almost touch it, won't be long. You will then be able to concentrate on you and getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWGP54 Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 Thank you Stu for raising this, and to all who posted advice. Really helpful! I'm in the process of being assessed to return to work after a long time off due to severe depression, and maybe it sounds weird, but it's somehow comforting to know I'm not the only one going through this. Sometimes it feels like I am. Don't know what's going to happen, but Stu made me realise that maybe I can start again. Thank you Stu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted April 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 Thank You for your kind words, I'm pleased it's helped you too, this forum and the friends I've made have been a tower of strength to me over the past few months and have been my guiding light. when i finally leave work soon i can put closure on twelve miserable months and as another doors opens i can breath some fresh air in and hopefully concentrate on a better tomorrow. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted April 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 If ever I've needed help and advice it's right now, I've got two breaks coming up this month which until recently I've been looking forward too, one break is next week to go to London to meet some friends and see a concert and the other break is at the end of the month to go to France to see my girlfriend and her family ( a family who I've never met before) but the past few weeks I've dreaded going out of the out let alone going away, half of me thinks it will do some good going away but the other half i hating the thought of long journeys, noise, confusion and meeting new people, i would really appreciate your thoughts about this. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted April 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 I've decided not to go away on my trips away this month, I cant face the metal torture of it all and wish I'd never made the trips if i had gone, also it was a year ago yesterday my Mum passed away, so I'm feeling very low right now and also i have another capability review meeting at work on 19th April with the general manager, so it looks as though it could be my last one before being released from my contract, my medication has little effect on me ans an appointment at the mental health unit could be months away. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzieq Posted April 12, 2010 Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 ((((((((( Stu ))))))))) Many hugs being sent your way. So sorry about the loss of your Mum. I lost my Mum 19 (I was 29) years ago in March and I still have tears on the anniversary even now. You will never forget your Mum but try to remember all the good times and believe me from experience, it will help you. I don't know why but "Eagle" by Abba helps me personally a lot. I spent 5 years in a job I absolutely loved and still feel a real sense of loss after 15 months of not being there. I can't imagine what you must be feeling after 14 years. As far as your trips are concerned, I can only give you a personal take on that. Last year, severely depressed, My Mum-in-Law asked me to go to London for the day to see a show. I dreaded it from the minute I woke up but had an absolutely wonderful time. No-one knew me or my problems and so I could just be me with no questions asked. That was probably only one of the "normal" days I've had in years! As far as France is concerned, all I can say is "go for it". You will have your girlfriend for support and as her parents don't know you or your background, you can just be you whilst in the company of someone you care about and is there for you. You will be able to relax and unwind. My ex-Husband lived in France for many years and I can say that the French people are really laid back. As long as you don't mind Croissants with really stong coffee for breakfast and copious amounts of wine at lunch and dinner, you will love it. Personally I find that when I go abroad, stressful as it may be at first with the airport etc, I am able to relax more than I ever can at home. No-one knows you and so you will not get the friendly "advice" that you get from friends/family etc. The chance just to be the real you, no need to pretend, relax and enjoy new experiences is incredibilly theraputic. Whatever your final decision, I wish you well and am thinking of you. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Floats Posted April 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2010 Hi Sue, Thank you for your lovely reply, since i posted my comments about going away things have taken an ugly twist, I as increasingly becoming paranoid about going away and making myself feel ill, So I've decided not to go away and feel better for the decision but also sad at the same time, anyway to cut a long story short, I've felt things weren't right with me and my girlfriend and decided to split from her as i don't feel i can cope with a relationship right now and need my freedom to make some sense of my life, I'm usually a very organised person and when i cant organise my own life and have my own mind, it frustrates and confuses me, I seem to have depression 24/7 and my hallucinations are no better and getting out of the house everyday seems such an effort and very daunting, the sun maybe shining outside but it's constantly raining in my soul. Stu x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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