stardust1982 Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 I'm really lonely today I've havent been out and haven't spoken to anyone all day I have chatted to someone online via a dating site but its not the same and i'm trying to be all happy and sunny when actually i feel like crying i've barely eaten i'm dehydrated and i feel so lost i'm avoiding my lifeline facebook because my step father is online and i dont fancy talking to him (its not helpful) i dont know what to do i dont want to trouble my friends and those that live close will be out on the town tonight i dont have the money to go out and i dont drink i dont like crowds so its not an option i really dont know what to do i keep talking myself and biting my lip (things i do when i'm stressed) i want to cry but hate the feeling of loss of control i get when i cry so trying to be strong arrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 i dont mean this to sound patronising but ur totally alone if that helps coz im in excatly the same situation xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 It's not patronising thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 It's not patronising thank you god i meant to say ur not tottally alone, i guess u guessed that, im really sorry, it must be because it was late sorry again xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 I understood what you meant which is why i said thank you chill honey it was a lovely thing to say even if it didnt come out right!!! :0) thank you again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Hi Stardust, how are you getting on today? I really struggle too when I spend a day on my own without talking to anyone else, it makes me feel dreadful, like you say really anxious and depressed and utterly rubbish. It's not good. I try not to do it these days but sometimes it's unavoidable. What are you up to this evening? Love Kazza xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Today was better as I go swimming with My mum, sister and nephew on a saturday and I dont get so anxious in public when i'm with family. well nothing planned for tonight all my mates are out on the lash and well i dont drink it interferes with my medication too much so sat here with a cuppa lol how's about you? SDC xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 I'm glad oyu're feeling a bit better today babe, that feeling is horrible and really scary, it's good when it goes! as for tongiht, much the sameas you, Just trying to find something half decent to watch on TV though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 another shitty shitty day (sorry about the language) my flat mate has found a new flat and new flatmate today so in march well i dont know what to do i cant afford to stay here but i have no money and no job the council wont help my mum and sister have no room at their houses oh shit i cant stop crying i have counselling tomorrow and right this moment i dont think i'm going to ba able to go as i have to get a train and i'm panicky fuck fuck tried calling my mum and theres no answer i cant call my sister as my nephew will be in bed a well so will she probably i have no one havent heard from my friends in weeks even though i reguarly contact them my flatmates working but even if he was here i couldnt tell him whats going on he thinks i'm just lazy as it is what do i do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 (((((((((stardust)))))))) shit babe that's a scary position to be in. Why has your flatmate found somewhere else to live, did you know he was looking? OK I don't really know enough about this but I've seen other people here post about similar situations, and I know that they got some good advice. I'll have a hunt round the site see what I can find for you...you have a look too babe if oyu can? Hopefully replying to this might reawaken your post, and someone who can help wil read it!! Back in a bit to let you know what have found. Kazza XXXXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 i knew he didn't like this flat anymore and i guess living with a girl who isnt your girlfriend has drawbacks but i didnt think it would be so soon and the way he just left me stood there on my own in flat seconds after he told me i feel pathetic to be honest i cant believe i've had to telling strangers i dont mean any offence by that i just thought i had friends then when i need people theres no one i would drop everything for my friends and have done yet i'm alone scared that i'm going to be homeless and whats worse i thought he was my friend i've known him since i was 13 i thought i was worth more hes just confirmed it really oh shit i'm sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 hey sweetheart it's OK you don't have to be sorry. anyone would feel devestated in your shoes it's a natural reaction. The thing I've learned about my friends is that, despite having lived 31 years, there are only 2 friends in my whole life who would be there for me no matter what, and even they might not stick around if they thought it wasn't best for them. and i dind't meet them til in my late 20's. It's feels so bad though when people you wanted or needed to be there aren't I know babe, spen tmy whole life feeling like i had no friends and it's only in the last couple of years i realise that i have. Just wanna give you a massive hug and tell you it's gonna be OK lovely, have you managed to get through to your mum or sister? xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 they are both asleep or not answering i have 2 good friends and known them both most of my life its just ones in a very new relationship so difficult to get hold of and the other lives half way up the country and is just married so dont want to disturb her i live such a chaotic life i thought that by now i would be fixed i'm 27 so not that young and i always thought i would have the dream by now if that makes sense instead i'm going from disaster to the next i have calmed down a bit now i bottle things up to breaking point unfortuneatly thank you so much for your support you wouldnt beleive how reassuring its been kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 hey glad you're feeling a little bit calmer lovely,and don't feel bad about not being sorted, bloody 31 and just about to move out of my sisters spare room and in to my own place ~ well scared, am finally starting out on a road to getting sorted but like you, can;t understand why it's taken me so long! We all have our own path though I guess. What you doing for the rest of the night sweets, you going to be OK? I know it's a cliche, but have you made a cup of tea yet?? I can't find any useful information for you but I'm still trying, maybe tomorrow you could put a topic up explaining your current housing situation ~ that will attract those with the knowledge. XXXXXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 i have grape juice and have to take my tablets now so that should calm me down more plus i'm colouring in (my counsellor suggested it as an art therapy thing it does help a bit) i will do that tomorrow thank you so much i'm going to finish my drink then get into bed and put the radio on should get me right off to sleep we all have crosses to bear and i was just reading a report on haiti and its humbled me and made me slightly better in a way does that make sense i feel so bad for those people i would help if i really could afford to and my problems seem so trivial in comparison anyway good night and thank you so very very very much and if ever need ME you know i'm at least here!!!!!! Kate xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 It's my pleasure Kate, really mean that. hurrah for us!! I'm off to bed too then, sweet dreams, let's see what tomorrow holds for us! Love Kazza xxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 hey kate i can relate a bit, am also 27 and though i would have everything sorted by now, instead, like you, feel it's just one thing after another. have moved so many times (at least 20 i'd say) and have no real career and can't work at the moment. my friends also don't seem to be around too much...but then i don't reach out to them. quite often i won't phone anyone for weeks, so i guess it's obvious why they don't phone me...all my good friends live abroad or far away. it's pretty annoying. i have some friends in london, but only been there 4 months and it's been hard for me to socialise as i've spent most of the time feeling rubbish. all we can do is hope stuff gets better...i dunno, wish i had some advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 i managed to get to counselling today the travelling was tough but i did it and spoke to my mum finally this evening feel better but have a constant headache been sick too so guess its migraine time only get them when i'm stressed doctors in the morning so hopefully something will be sorted re my meds will post something about my living situation but not till tomorrow my head hurts 2 much thank you so much for your support kate xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 hey kate, brilliant what top day you've had! that's awesome that you made it to counselling, especially if as you say the travelling was a stress. Also really hope the docs goes well tomorrow. Glad you managed to speak to your mum too. Hope you manage to clear your headache, big hug and look forward to the update tomorrow! Take care, love Kazza xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 hi kate have no advice, sorry, but feel for u, hugs cadance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 doctors was a waste of time she's decreased my dose have to go back next week to see my normal doctor hopefully he'll sort something out i'm holding off worrying about where i'm goping to live till after i've seen my doctor on monday morning it will be hard to stop worrying but theres nothing i can do at the moment thank you guys for the virtual hugs and support :0) Kate xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2010 big stress at my mum last night for not being supportive enough while i'm worrying about where i'm going to live etc her answer well if it comes to it theres the box room here ummmmmm enclosed space,barely any privacy and no independance its not going to work told her that and she said i was ungrateful i wish she could see my point but nevermind i'll have to go it alone as i've been doing since i was 7 you would have thought that after 20 years of broken promises not listening to me and generally not really worrying too much about me full stop i would have learnt my lesson going to the dr monday morning to find out the next step then going to go to the council and tell them i'm going to be homeless if they dont sort something out for me even its temporary kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted January 30, 2010 Report Share Posted January 30, 2010 You can change your status on Facebook to offline, then you don't have to chat to anybody other than via mail. When I was on there I always had that thing on offline, if I wanted to do instant chat I'd use MSN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
out2lunch Posted January 30, 2010 Report Share Posted January 30, 2010 hey kate, really sorry to hear things aren't great between you and your mum at the moment. i know what you mean about the box room, i'm living in my sisters box room for the last couple of monhts, it;s so small there sin't even room for a wardrobe, single bed as you say no privacy etc. knightmare. i dind't have any other options though and was so grateful for a roof!! Do you think the council will be able to help you find something? xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust1982 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2010 the council probably wont help but having a whinge will make me feel better lol last time i lived in my mums box room i attempted suicide so its not an option i cant go back there i think she doesnt understand my situation when she was my age she was on her second marriage with 3 kids so she doesnt get why i should be unhappy when i dont have any responsibilities i've got a blind date on wednesday so looking forward to that and hopefully this week will be better than the last week kate xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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