sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 You don't trust my opinions, you don't trust my mind, You don't trust my insight, You would think I was blind You don't trust my parents, you don't trust my friends. You don't trust my love, You think its pretend You don't trust my hopes, You don't trust my dreams. you don't trust my hopes of recovery. You have judged me so badly You don't KNOW me... You make judgements on my character with no input from me! I have little room to grow where failure is already half expected And I have little time for this being rejected. I have always been honest in situations that call I have never denied you knowing what you questioned to know But your lack of trust in whatever I say Leaves me pointless to talk when u've taken me the wrong way, The the truth of it is, you will not change what you think. Despite being wrong, and my life on the brink Our communication is so bad, that we can't talk at all. It's a no win situation like hitting a brick wall. My words are shot down, by your silence or your frown, I am accused of being too deep, that I stress you and bring you down You accuse me of making you someone you don't recognise anymore. You say so many things, that it I just don't know Such as why are you with me? What reason could there be? As you claim you don't love me, and you don't trust parts of me. SO what is your game, what are you not telling, coz from here mr man, all I see is us failing. I can never make you see, what you always meant to me. It may have seemed crazy and at times I don't blame you. But if you can't recognise truth and see when my heart is sincere, then nothing I can say will ever make you see it any other way. I'm going to bed, and when I wake, I want you gone make no mistake. I cannot go on, with no talking and so on... your silence is deadly, but your words are unhealthy. For my peace of mind, I have to leave you behind. I can't even cry as you give me no goodbye. You have just kept me waiting, but no commitment your making... uneasy you make me and forlorn you forsake me, as your dreams are out of reach and leave me stranded on a beach, when the tide has gone out and like ships that pass in the night....Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 it was like reading a letter to someone... i can relate a lot to some of what you wrote. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 I guess it is a letter actually.... to the significant male lover in my life atm. *big sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 taking it by the poem and the sigh things arent great? hugs sanc xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 No. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere with him. It's like treading water - muddy confused waters. I am tired of feeling this way. If he could just see I've changed. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so scared. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 is he not noticing a change in you?have you spoken to him about it? ohhhh why are relationships and love so confusing and scary! sorry your scared hun...he should be supporting you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 I know Dani, that's the point. He may actually be incapable of support. Either he fails to see or he fails to hear. Either way, he is failing me. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 have u thought about ending things?sorry to pry you dont have to answer. is he adding extra stress you really could do without? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 yes dani, many times... but you see, endings are particularly hard for me :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Me too...it took me a lot of heart ache and hurt to end my last relationship. it took something he said for something to click in my head and i ended it there and then. maybe it will take for something to click inside you...to reach a point where you just can't do it anymore. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 For my peace of mind, I have to leave you behind. I can't even cry as you give me no goodbye. You have just kept me waiting, but no commitment your making... uneasy you make me and forlorn you forsake me, as your dreams are out of reach and leave me stranded on a beach, when the tide has gone out and like ships that pass in the night....Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence WOW dude, That bit made me well up here, Its seem to of hit a nerve with me... Sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Thank you Dani, if you don't mind, can you tell me what did it for you? I mean what was the dealbreaker comment? (PM me if u like) As I'm waiting for that 'click' but even when I hear something that really does it for me, I find myself unable to move. ((((((((((((Dice)))))))))))) I hope my words brought tears of release and not of pain and torment. My arms are around u hun xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 I wanted him to make a proper commitment to me and he kept putting it off. i was so wrapped up in him i just took it. i then asked him straight out why he wouldnt...was it me?was it him?didnt he love me? then he said'im waiting for you to prove to me you are worth me making the commitment' i just looked at him and said i couldnt believe he said that.he said how could he commit to me with all i had going on(it was me at my worst)i replied i should never have to prove myself to him...and i walked off.ive ignored him since. it hurt...very bad.i thought i wouldnt love again or trust.but i do....so theres always hope. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 thanks for that dani. I think you showed real strength there and well done girl. Unfortunately for me I have already heard similar so my self esteem must be pretty dam low right now or I'd have walked already xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 you don't deserve that sanctuary... your worth more than comments like that. we should be loved for who we are no matter what.thats how i love...unconditionally. i didnt feel strong at the time.i was in peices ...but got through it.you will too hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 its precisely because people have walked in similar shoes and come out the other side that we all get a sense of 'hope'. Thank you Dani xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 no prob...actually helped me a bit going over it so thanks to you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 talking about things works wonders sometimes (((((dani))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 ty...you just inspired my poem :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Sorry you feel that way...beautifully written.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 thank you snowman xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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