Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

[Dani]

Have i just walked in to an episode of eastenders or something?

Jeeeeeez.i know there is bound to be conflict at times but recently its all im reading.tit for tat...all the time.

Do most of us share the same experiences?are most of hurting and finding that life is just a little shit right now?

YES!

this is a support forum...we support eachother...and where we disagree can we not hear the other party out and then agree to disagree?

We are all responsible for what threads we read...what threads we post.Some may find posts triggering...just like ther are triggers all around us in real life there will be on here.As long as trigger warnings are up and its within the terms its fine.

I'm noticing that some threads are being replied to less because there's too much interest in other threads with drama going on.

And hey i'm all for drama...im THE drama queen but i feel its just gettin a little too much.

if you cannot resolve things then put the person on ignore.Please think before you post.

if you have something to get off your chest then why not put it in vent?...that way theres no replies if you feel there will be an argument.Come on guys...we need to support eachother through hard times...and make eachother laugh.

Im not expecting miracles...arguments are gonna happen but at least respect other members.the insults and name calling ive read over the last few weeks are just not on at all.no need.

if you have a problem with a member or a thread then report it.(this will keep me busy from cleaning my baby twins sick up )

Lets get this back to being a safe place for people to open up.

and yeah its 4am in the morning...

and no i havent anything else better to do

sending you all virtual hugs

x

[fastfish]

lol Dani your post made me laugh! (the whole clearing up baby sick and it being 4 in the morning stuff that is!)

i get frustrated with the conflict and arguments as well so i'm glad you've brought it up.

i don't get why people read threads that have a title regarding a subject they know will trigger for them or upset them

i even more don't get why once they've read those threads knowing they'll get upset by it they then abuse the original poster or other responders

well ok maybe i do get it but i just wish it didn't happen

it detracts from the original post and it detracts from the support others can and are giving the original posters

i think that's a shame and i for one get upset by it

if i see something i don't like i try and ignore it

if i need to let it out and vent it then i say i don't like the topic or i disagree with what's been said but i don't attack the person

but then i'm not perfect either

i guess i feel that if i want an argument or to be put down or to be attacked then i can just phone my brother or go and see him for a few days! i come on here for positive vibes not negative ones, for a boost to me and to help me get help when i'm struggling. surely we all have families or other situations in our lives we can get our need for drama and conflict met?! or maybe not everyone does and that is exactly what it's all about.

And yeah it's 4 in the morning and i do have something better to do BUT I JUST CAN'T SLEEP!!!! :lol:

[Dani]

lol...do we have the same brother! mines good for that too!

i agree...

i mean yes by all means debate and get things off your chest but there's no need for the insults.

so hopefully we can all work on this...i really hope so.

i used to do this thing a couple of years ago...when things got heated or people started getting worked up on the forum...i'd do the naked dance (there was an icon that was a little naked person)roses/jades you will remember.i cant do it anymore so i have to resort to being sensible and posting plus im a mod and a mum now so my arse is to be kept under wraps

:)

[out2lunch]

I remember the naked person!!!!!!...... and the dude hugging a sofa remember him???

I'm worried about all the rows here at the moment too, it makes it seem scary for newbies and a very spikey unsupportive place for existing members who need help.

Maybe we need to speak to Josh about starting a rowing forum?? people seem to enjoy it and can't help themselves, is it possible that any thread that turns into a bitch fight gets moved to specific place??

[Barebones]

im sry dani, its my fault, i should of been more mature and stepped away. Was having one of my bad days yesterday, and sometimes i dont let up until i get everyone to hate me.

so im sry everyone for my behavour yesterday.

I know sry doesnt cut it, i have to prove otherwise.

guess chin up everyone, and (((hugs)))

[out2lunch]

hey BB,

Sorry I was a bit unfair in my reply here and when i said people can't help themselves i think what i really meant is that everyone of us will have times when in the morning we'll know we should ahve stopped replying but at the time we couldn't.

Impulse control is something that many of us BPD'ers suffer with so it's not surprising if this happens when people have an off day.

Personally speaking this doesn't affect me in the long term, but if maybe when people are bouncing off each other posts could get moved to a place where they can still carry on, but others around realise that there is a little bit of conflict and they can stay away if they need to?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Data]

Oddly enough, I feel strangely detached from the most recent rows (the last couple of days). I say its odd because I normally seem to get dragged into conflict.

I have been trying more and more to see the 'big picture' and avoid arguments. I have added lots of people to my ignore list (but that is sooooo frustrating - see signature) and if I think something is really unacceptable I am reporting it more and more instead of responding.

It is a worry for me that new people and people in crisis may not receive the support they need/deserve because of some of the childish games that go on.

[Barebones]

No out u wasnt unfair, and ur suggestion is a really good one.

xxx

[just.me]

I think it is inevitable there are going to be more disagreements here than on any other type of forum.

Considering there are around 20 posters or so who post regularly, it is hardly surprising.

Not unlike putting 20 people in a pub with mental health issues and getting them all drunk, doubt there be an hour where there would not be a disagreement.

Those with issues are more sensitive, have a lower tolerance level, are less likely to shrug things off than someone who does not have issues.

Hence, more conflict.

A plethura of personalities in one place, moods that go up and down like a whores knickers, (well my mood certainly swings some days). My knickers don't (unfortunately).

So as Dani says, if you feel the need to post something that may irk, or need to vent, why not post in Vent? or walk away from the PC for a bit and chill. My fingers tend to hit the keyboard without thinking, sometimes it is easier to just sit, breathe and count to ten before responding, it can make the world of different to what you post and how.

[Data]

Not unlike putting 20 people in a pub with mental health issues and getting them all drunk, doubt there be an hour where there would not be a disagreement.

Now that would be fun .

If an event like that is planned, it might be worth ringing up the hospital to make sure they have an empty ward ready .

[just.me]

I think it has to be born in mind that depression and such issues are very selfish illnesses, not intentionally, but I know myself that when I am feeling shit, it is all about me. Never intentional but I am hurting, I need some advice, I need some help.

When you are hurting like fuck, you don't see round corners, you never see outside the box.

Mayhap we need to remember that too when someone posts and they come across as me, me, me. Because it is about them when they started the topic, it is about their wants, their needs, and them.

[Ruth24]

oooooh yeah, nice post Dani,

I get frustrated when i log on to reply to posts to offer support, and i spend 2 hours trying to resolve conflict. Its not fair on those that are in crisis and need support.

Gone, your apology is appreciated but don't beat yoursel up. It wasn't all your fault and i could see your frustration. Its not always that easy to just walk away. I used to get caught up in arguments easily...but its much less stressful to walk away and leave others to it. I used to have severe anger issues, and not getting involved in arguments has really helped with that.

love to everyone

Ingrid

x

[sarey92]

yeh it was all my fault typical :rolleyes:

[Ruth24]

nobody said that pup.

Things got out of hand

these things happen

You were involved in that particular argument, but you are by no means totally to blame

Ingrid

x

[Paris]

back to danis original post here and TY TY TY AND YES i agree :)

[fastfish]

People who are blaming themselves give yourself a break. We've all said and know that we're a volatile lot! We all get het up and angry at times. All that's being said on this thread is let's calm down and if you feel like arguing maybe walk away for a bit or to post in the venting section. I don't think Dani started this thread to point fingers at individuals as that would be counter-productive to what it sounds like she's trying to achieve!

Oh and Dani, if we do have the same brother, well I'm sorry!!

GROUP HUGS!!!

[<Sophie>]

i agree hun to much arguing here

Soph

[Data]

i agree hun to much arguing here

Soph

No there isn't

[<Sophie>]

:lol: that made me laugh out loud hun :lol:

[Dani]

morning guys

yeah i was def not pointing fingers so please no-one point fingers at themselves.

ive even been involved in arguments on here b4...its just life.its how we handle it that makes all the difference

thanks for gettin on board with this guys...

i was worried it would start a row

:D

[Data]

i was worried it would start a row

Only in this place could you have a row about rowing .

[Dani]

:lol: data

[sarabpd]

I think it is inevitable there are going to be more disagreements here than on any other type of forum.

Considering there are around 20 posters or so who post regularly, it is hardly surprising.

Not unlike putting 20 people in a pub with mental health issues and getting them all drunk, doubt there be an hour where there would not be a disagreement.

Those with issues are more sensitive, have a lower tolerance level, are less likely to shrug things off than someone who does not have issues.

Hence, more conflict.

A plethura of personalities in one place, moods that go up and down like a whores knickers, (well my mood certainly swings some days). My knickers don't (unfortunately).

So as Dani says, if you feel the need to post something that may irk, or need to vent, why not post in Vent? or walk away from the PC for a bit and chill. My fingers tend to hit the keyboard without thinking, sometimes it is easier to just sit, breathe and count to ten before responding, it can make the world of different to what you post and how.

Anyone meeting up to go to the pub? :)

[floyd]

Not unlike putting 20 people in a pub with mental health issues and getting them all drunk, doubt there be an hour where there would not be a disagreement.

Now that would be fun .

If an event like that is planned, it might be worth ringing up the hospital to make sure they have an empty ward ready .

most fridays and saturday nights seem like the pubs are full of mental people, i love seein couples argue, they go to work all week then celabrate by falling out aint love grand! x

[floyd]

I think it is inevitable there are going to be more disagreements here than on any other type of forum.

Considering there are around 20 posters or so who post regularly, it is hardly surprising.

Not unlike putting 20 people in a pub with mental health issues and getting them all drunk, doubt there be an hour where there would not be a disagreement.

Those with issues are more sensitive, have a lower tolerance level, are less likely to shrug things off than someone who does not have issues.

Hence, more conflict.

A plethura of personalities in one place, moods that go up and down like a whores knickers, (well my mood certainly swings some days). My knickers don't (unfortunately).

So as Dani says, if you feel the need to post something that may irk, or need to vent, why not post in Vent? or walk away from the PC for a bit and chill. My fingers tend to hit the keyboard without thinking, sometimes it is easier to just sit, breathe and count to ten before responding, it can make the world of different to what you post and how.

Anyone meeting up to go to the pub?

drinks on the house !