Advised Against Therapy...

[flowergirl]

I went back to see my gp last week, just for a review of my current meds and situation. I had been on temazapan for 2 weeks which had had no effect and am continuing with the anti depressants and he told me I must stop drinking, I need to have at least two full weeks without drink, before he sees me again, to see if there is any change in the effectiveness of my meds. He says they will never work if I continue to drink.

After talking about things he decided he would refer me back to crisis care team through my local CMHT.

He also told me that he thought any kind of therapy would be a waste of time at the minute and that I should not begin any counselling with the r*pe and s*ex*al ab*se counsellors. He said that any good therapist would advise the same and that I should avoid any counselling at all.

I had the number for the RASAC for absolutely ages, the last time I was under the crisis care team they advised me that I needed to talk to them, because this was not their domain, nothing that they were qualified to help me with. That was about two years ago, it has taken me until a couple of weeks ago to build up the courage to leave my details with them and get onto the waiting list. The list is about 6 months long and I felt quite pleased with myself that I was starting to do something positive, now i have been advised to take myself back off the list and not bother. I had previously felt under pressure to make this first step and now I have actually done it I feel that I have wasted my time.

Everyone here seems to think that therapy is the best thing that you can do, I just wondered if anyone else had been advised against it. I feel kind of confused, as now I feel ready to talk to someone, and want to start dealing with things.

I know that my doctor is right about the drinking, but I need something, I only do it because the tablets dont work and I know that it is an easy trap to fall back into and that it can become a problem in itself and I know that it is a crap coping mechanism but it is an old one, that when nothing else works, I go back to.

Sorry I have gone on so much, just needed to get this out.

[LadyMacbeth]

I am apalled that people who are suffering are actually advised against therapy. I have seen that with a few other members. What is the role of a psychologist? They are only supposed to treat people who suffer from a mild form of depression or something. It just pisses me off!

There are so many different kinds of therapists. Not everyone who has gone through traumatic experiences in their life or has BPD, or any other PD will probably not benefit so much from a regular psychotherapist. I am not saying in every case but a psychotherapist deals more with the past where there are other forms of therapy such as DBT, CBT, EMDR that work help you develop coping mecanisms instead of reverting back to maladaptive behaviours.

Anyone can benefit from a therapist as long as you are in for the ride. Its about learning to trust and opening up the walls of communication between you and a therapist. Do you have BPD? In every book I have read I read the same thing that therapy is most effective for Borderlines not just drugs alone.

I would ask your psychiatrist about getting into a DBT program or looking for a CB therapist. There are also sliding scale therapist for those who cannot afford to pay the big bucks. It may take some research but I definetly believe that therapy is the route to take to get through this.

We cannot change what happened to us in the past...but we carry baggage such as defectiveness, anxiety, fear, and other maladaptive behaviours to cope and we need theray to help us change our behaviour patterns. Its a long grueling ride but the outcome is worth it.

LM

XX

[flowergirl]

Thank you lady, you make me feel less isolated.

I have never had the dx of bpd, just severe depression and ptsd. I feel that I very much so associate with bpd but have never had the courage to ask my doctor. At present I dont see a psychiatrist/psychologist. Just my general practitioner, but through the referral to CMHT I will have access to a psychiatrist who will further review my meds, but not therapy.

I believe me doctor advises in my best interest, but I just feel so useless about everything.

I tried to explain to him about suicide and that although I dont want to be here I wont do anything about it. I see no future for myself, I dont want to be here, because nothing will ever change for me but that I wouldnt actually do it, because of my children. I tried to explain that there is a difference between wanting/feeling and actually doing and that i wasnt a danger to myself. He just remarked about the self harm and the drinking and self medicating and said that i was already on my way there. I know theoretically it is a form of self destruction but it is not the same.

I guess I just feel misunderstood.

Thanks for listening

[calyps]

Flower-

I think that maybe what your doc is trying to say is that you are not strong enough to get anything out of therapy yet. I was in the same situation a couple of years ago, and it's only now that the anti-depressants have kicked in that I am strong enough to undertake the therapy. The therapy itself is way intense, takes a lot of commitment and motivation, and if you're not ready to give it your all, you would just make yourself feel worse by feeling that you have failed at yet another thing in your life. You also have to 'prove' that you are willing to commit to therapy- before i was accepted i had to quit drinking and not self harm for a month- hard, but it can be and was done. Your doc is right about the drinking affecting your meds, the alcohol is basically undoing any good work that the pills do. I know it's hard mate, but you have to give the meds a chance to be effective. I am on day 4 of my current teetotal journey, I find for me that i have to fill my day with other things instead of getting drunk- I found Extinct's thread on addiction a real inspiration, I am sure your Doc will feel different about therapy if he can see some sign that you are trying. As for the abuse counselling, I think this is something you should really do, you said yourself that just making contact with them made you feel you had done something positive. Being referred to the CMHT is the starting point of entering therapy but they will again want to see how much meds will help and how receptive they would make you in actually doing therapy. I think your step 1 should be making a concerted effort with the alcohol (I know, I know, it's like I'm telling you to give up the one thing that can make you feel different to feeling crap, how mean am I?) but even if you manage I evening, I day, 1 week without hitting the bottle you are proving that you have it in you to commit to therapy, you just need more strength. Hang on in there mate,

Anwen

[JTBadBug]

Hi Flower,

I have only just found this post, but, I thought you still might like to have a name of someone else who has recently been advised against seeing a therapist. In all fairness when I flipped about 16 months back I did tell my doc. that he should never let me see a counsellor of any kind as it will kill me like it almost did 10 years ago. While I have been seeing my doc he wanted me to go and see someone so I went to see a Human Givens therapist that he advised, this was short term, I had the same problem with this chap (I go down hill rapidly and I get dependent), now my doc aggrees with me that I should not see anyone, unfortunately, I am now at the stage where I need to talk now - life is never simple.

Let me just add, I am not suggesting that your Doc is saying it for the same reason in anyway, just, that I am in a similar position.

Take care,

Jane

[verbena]

This topic is so close that it's upsetting for me. I was told by a psychologist that I was probably BPD, but that there was no treatment available locally, and that medication would not be helpful. Let's see, how many months did it take for me to realize that he either didn't want or didn't know how to treat me... He wanted to be done with me, and stretched appointments out with weeks and weeks between, leaving me soooooo alone. That was when I found this site. I am not going to get into the whole thing - you can check the archives to see the state I was in - anyway my GP referred me to a different place, and it's a team of people who care and want to help, and my therapist now has big shoulders, knows his capabilities and uses them. Also, medication. Medication first, then therapy. I am in a much better place than I was a year ago. Ask my husband. Ask my job. Ask me. In the weeks after leaving the first one, I was quite suicidal. I can't tell you how not suicidal I am today and have been and expect to be. You may need medication, but for sure you need to find a therapist who is willing to take you on. Good luck.

XXX

Ann

[Lauren]

Yes,

Finding a therapist who really cares, who really wants you to heal is the key to recovery.

[Katherine]

exactly, extinct....

[gateway]

oh hell yeah

I was told on Friday therapy would be too traumatic for me

What I actually think they mean is no one is actually prepared to listen to me.

I saw her face a couple of weeks before when i told her.

oooh it makes em a bit uncomfortable/horrified/ it was one of those looks of OMG DONT TELL ME THAT.

I also suspect they are thinking I'm exaggerating or delusional. *sigh*

sorry.. yeah the point is... yeah I've been told that too..

and no i dont think it makes one dam bit of sense from my pov.

[Alexa]

I was told that therapy would be too traumatic for me too, but then got a new GP coz moved, and new GP said I needed therapy. Just difference in opinion/prioritising I suppose. xx

[flora]

Hi,

I'm going to say something controversial, it's just my opinion. I think the wrong help is worse than no help - and that counselling can be counterproductive. I think it can make us introspective and focus on the problems or the past rather than getting on with our lives. I also think there's a danger in coming to view ourselves exclusively as patients, without realising how much more we are.

Maybe what your doctor meant is that maybe you aren't in a position to respond to therapy, until your mental health is stable. Maybe if you aren't thinking straight, you wouldn't be able to tackle the issues and talking about them may make you worse. Only you can decide whether that's the case, where you are at the mo.

It sounds as tho you want to talk over this stuff and if you feel you need to then don't let one GP's opinion put you off.

Take care love flora