Just Fell

[budgie]

It was wrong to begin with. It was doomed.

It would have happened anyway, a question of time.

He never is meant to be in my life. Just a passing, refreshing breeze.

Brought me joy, and anguish too. Temporal in time, eternal in memory.

It was not unexpected. But I will surely miss him.

It is not right, morally, and I dont have any valid excuse.

I can think of a million reasons, BPD etc, but no, none will stand.

I have made a commitment, and it is for me to keep.

If I had been shortchanged somewhere, there are other areas which more then made up for it.

It is just that I had a fall now. I stumbled. Today will not be easy.

Neither the next few days I forsee. I will MANAGE. I will. As I did. Yes.

Medications. No. Not OD. I dont do that. Just to blank me out. Yes.

I hate BPD. I hate relationships. I hate being here. But I am staying.

Budgie :angry:

[fairytales817]

Staying because we have nowhere else to go. I love you, Budg!!! *hugs* Don't give up. It's all crazy. I know. I want to be here for you just like you are here for me. You *can* be ok. I love you tons. *extra hugs for my one and only budgie!*

[Betsy]

You will be okay!

we are all here for you.

[budgie]

Thank you my dearest friends. I am STILL here, and WILL be here. I just slept on and off 24 hrs (w/o meds mind you!) LOL.

It jus sux. But I hang on to my life's mantra below very well. Yes, it'll pass, just that I dont. Argh...ok ok...I'll be fine. So u see, there is this streak that keeps popping up that I just need to manage....BAH.

Ever experience a friend leaving coz you are just too nice? *Great big sigh. You just cant win in life can you? You lose either way. I dunno anymore. I never knew in the first place. I'll go back into my rabbit hole. Ciao.

Bud :unsure: