Divsky Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Hey, I was just wondering if anyones ever self harmed before and what they say when people notice their scars and ask, I never know what to say and I cant hide them all there's too many, cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anastasia Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 i find people dont usually ask. the only time i have been asked was by my boss at work and i was honest with her. totally told her the truth and she was shocked but ok about it. i find most people either dont see or dont want to ask. 4 if it was a stranger i'd probably tell them where to stick it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 in the past when I've told people they've been horrified by it, they look at me differently if I do and you get some amount of funny looks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 ((((((((((neverwhere))))))))))) You don't have to tell anyone anything but I know what you mean. If you don't say something, people make up their own stories. People don't often ask but it might be worth having a story clear in your head in case someone does. It depends where the scars are and how obvious they are but here are a few: - i fell through the patio doors... - i punched out a window... - someone threw me into a bottle bank.../bin full of glass... - i fell on glass in the street - i was knife fighting and it got a bit out of controll ...as a child/2 weeks ago/a couple of months ago/when I was drunk They may sound a bit strange but most people don't want to see the truth. Just try not to milk them for sympathy. If someone does eventually find out the truth they may not be too happy if you have played the sympathy game. But if you feel that you can tell someone the truth, don't let this stop you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I've found quite a lot of strangers have asked, I kind of panic and can't say what I've practised in my head (things like Rainbow's said above).. I generally wear long sleeves unless I'm with friends I know well, who don't tend to ask.. Depends where your scars are, theres lots of different ways to cover them up - wrist bands for example.. Hugs, Laura x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Apart from when I take my kids swimming no-one sees my scars, I keep them covered. When I go swimming people might stare, but I just let them, much easier when in a good frame of mind and with company you trust. Do you want to be able to show your scars? What do you feel about them? Sorry for being nosey, just wondered, feel free to not reply though, tis okies xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Well my scars are all up my wrist and arms all the way to the shoulder, on my chest and stomach, see I'm thinking ahead to summer because when I start to tan my scars all turn white so a tanned body with white scars is a bit too noticeable, I would like to show them, like when on holiday I would walk around with my top off but now I dont have the confidence to do that, my scars just hold memories from my past things I'd like to forget but cant because the scars are a constant reminder but right now my 8yr brother keeps asking why I have white lines all over my arms, so far I've told him its nothing never mind but he's becoming more curious, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Using bio oil regularly can fade scars, or help them blend, if you wanted to start using that now before summer. Other than that if you no longer self harm you can ask your gp about help for scar reduction, they wont consider this if still self harming though. Also if you have stopped self harming maybe being honest in a child friendly way is the best way to answer your brother, deflection rarely works. Take care x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 yes i use bio oil and lots of body shimmer! it can be hard having to lie but i just make excuses.mine are really faded now but before that i would just cover them.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I'll give the bio oil a go, I've not hurt my body on the outside in a long time I regret to say I found other ways to hurt myself without it showing or leaving any marks, I'm slowly gaining control over it but its rather hard and not having the mental control like I used to angers me, as for my brother I'll tell him something, although I think he might be too old to use my intended excuse that I was playing with my cat, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Definitely give Bio Oil a go & Cica-Care if you can get your hands on some, I found that to have quicker results.. Also the Red Cross can provide good cover up stuff for summer or swimming (its waterproof too) which I've used in the past when swimming :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 cool I'll definitely give it ago I dont know why I'm worrying about summer....I live in Scotland, summer doesnt exist here lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toe Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Give two fingers to the nosey buggers, Or just tell 'em you sunbathed behind some railings !!!! ha ha :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just.me Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 I had scars up my arms from when I was 14, they took 10 years to fade, and I only done it once. I hated the fact that they could be seen. I was embarassed, and I have never done it again. That was over 30 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 10 years to fade that a wee bit of time! thankfully I dont still do it, I dont think I could anymore the urge has gone somehow :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted March 7, 2010 Report Share Posted March 7, 2010 I'm glad it has. Thats a good place to be. God know what I'll do this summer! xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 oh dear are your scars noticeable too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainbow Tears Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 They will be for a while now, only on one arm but i dug in deep. Luckily most are on a bit of my arm that aint too visible unless I stick my hand up and since I ain't in school no more that won't be happening I'm getting to the point where I'm tried of lying. Either people accept me or they don't. I can't accept my self if I can't be myself. The only person I will really need to hide it from is my grandma. She's 93 and doesn't need anymore stress, but then she probably won't notice or ask. I don't owe the rest of my family much and mum, dad and sister know all now after me hiding everything for years lol have rambled on a bit ain't I. I'm in a take no prisons sort of mood ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 nah its good you can have that point of view, takin no prisoners! its encouragement for the rest of us to be able to not shy away and always hide who we are and what we've done, :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlett fauve Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 i just used to say you know exactly what they are so why do you feel the need to ask me. n have you tried anything to calm the scars down???? i rubbed and massaged in moisturizer on them twice a day, or just anytime i was sat watching tv id just chill out and rub it in. i dont know if its because of this but my scars are barely there anymore and nobody notices them now. ive been told cocoa butter is good for scars and the moisturizer i used said cocoa butter on the front of the tub. can still see them a little bit on my left arm though but even when they have been bad, when ever ive felt low or was having a bad time a could always flip my wrist over and look at my scars and it reminds me that i am strong, that if i beat self harming i can beat anything. i wouldnt be without them now cuz there part of what made me the stronger person i am today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly4444 Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 I've got so many scars on my fore arms I can't really hide them anymore - if I get new ones I put arm bands around them or wear long sleeves. EVERYONE asks about my scars - its horrible. I never really know what to say - I always use the excuse "I lived on a farm for all my childhood" but I dont think anyone believes me. Sometimes I wish people would mind their own business even if they are just being nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niiggyy Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 back when i self harmed a while back at first i was self conscious of my scars but then thought fuck it, and dint even bother to hide it and my friends were supportive, but since going back to self harming ive gone in much worse, so most cuts need stitches. and now i am embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted that i did it, so just hide them. on a good note my old scars are 2 years old now so got them tattooed over so you can hardly see them anymore =) and guys my advice is. if your cuts do need tending to. its good to tell someone, i know at the time you are ashamed and embarrassed, but if they are deep getting them stitched will minimise the scarring in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Im getting worried about mine too..... my hubby keeps saying why dont u wear nice clothes any more....those nice tops u got.....he knew i s.h once recently but he doesnt know its been going on a while.....im more worried about my family seeing them than strangers. will look into the products u ppl advise to help them fade thanks emo xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divsky Posted March 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 well today was bit awkward I was talking to the personal trainer in the gym and I could see his eyes drifting from scar to scar on my arms after he left me and was talking to his co worker I kept feeling like he was saying to her and they were starring at me stupid paranoia :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted March 11, 2010 Report Share Posted March 11, 2010 *hugs* I'm sure they weren't talking about you but I do know that feeling well, I'm always paranoid even friends are talking about me.. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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